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<S>:r^UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. <~\pi 



BURTON'S 

AMATEUR ACTOR, 

A COMPLETE GUIDE 

TO 

PEIYATE THEATRICALS. 

GIVING PLAIN DIRECTIONS FOR ARRANGING, DECORATING AND 

LIGHTING THE STAGE AND ITS APPURTENANCES; WITH RULES 

AND SUGGESTIONS FOR MOUNTING, REHEARSING, 

AND PERFORMING ALL KINDS OF PLAYS, 

PARLOR PANTOMIMES, AND SHADOW 

PANTOMIMES. 

ILLUSTRATED WITH NUMEROUS ENGRAVINGS, 

AND INCLUDING 

A SELECTION OF ORIGINAL PLATS, WITH PROLOGUES, EPILOGUES, k 



By C. E. BURTON. 



NEW YORK: 
DICK & FITZGERALD, PUBLISHERS, 

No. 18 Ann Stbeet„ 



Trt3i rf 



Entered according to Act of CongTess, in the year 2876, by 

DICK & FITZGERALD, 

in the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at "Washington, D. C 



PBEFACE. 



It was the original intention of the Publishers to reproduce an 
English hand-book, written by " An Old Stager/' for the instruc- 
tion and guidance of amateurs. On careful examination, how- 
ever, it was found to contain considerable matter which an 
American tyro might fail to appreciate ; and it appeared, also, 
notably deficient in many important and necessary points of 
detail. 

It was preferred, therefore, to place the whole matter in able 
and experienced hands for thorough revision and adaptation, and 
the result is embodied in this little volume, which will, it is 
hoped, be found a complete and serviceable aid to the aspiring 
amateur actor. 

The difficulties usually experienced in the selection of plays for 
performance have been greatly lessened by the introduction, at 
the close of the volume, of a list of Farces, Comedies, etc., 
specially adapted for Amateur Parlor Performance, with a short 
description of the characters in each. 



00 NTENTS. 



PAGE. 

HOW TO FORM AN AMATEUR COMPANY 7 

THE MANAGER 7 

THEATRICAL MUSIC 9 

GENERAL ARRANGEMENTS 9 

RULES EOR AN AMATEUR COMPANY 10 

HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE 12 

eoldlng-door proscenium 14 

Draped Proscenium 15 

Framed Proscenium 17 

The Stage 19 

"Wings on Side Scenes. 21 

Scenes 21 

Green Curtain 22 

Drop Curtain 22 

Lighting the Stage 24 

Colored Mediums for Eoot-Lights 25 

Calcium-light Effects 26 

Colored Eires 27 

HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES 28 

HOW TO PRODUCE STAGE EFEECTS 39 

Moonlight and Lightning 39 

Thunder, Rain, Wind, etc 40 

Eires, Fountains, etc 41 

Sunrise, Sunset, Ghosts, etc 42 

Gauze Drop Curtains 43 

PROPERTIES 43 

Furniture 43 

Banners, Shields, etc 44 

Armor, Flowers, Implements, etc 45 



CONTENTS. 

HOW TO MAKE UP DRESSES 45 

Useful Hints on Coloe and Contrast 46 

Wigs, Beards, etc 48 

ON "MAKING UP" 49 

Imitation of Various Faces 50 

Nigger "Make Up" 51 .. 58 

Moors and Red Indians 52 .. 58 

Characteristic Dresses 52 to 59 

GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING 59 

The Passions Portrayed 63 

Attitude, and Stage Business 64 

Entrances and Exits 65 

PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE 68 

Plots and Effects 71 

Prologues . 74 

Epilogues 78 

SELECTION OF PLAYS 80 

AFamilyFix 80 

ThePhilopena 99 

PARLOR PANTOMIME 119 

General Directions 119 

Love Under Obstacles - .121 

SHADOW PANTOMIME 128 

How to Arrange the Curtain — » 129 

How to Manage the Light 130 

Position of the Body, etc 132 

Stage Action . . . : 133 

How to Make Scenery 1 34 

Costumes and Properthss 135 

The Feejee Islanders at Home 136 

SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS 142 



BURTON'S AMATEUR ACTOR. 



HOW TO FORM AN AMATEUR COMPANY. 

Some active spirit usually sets the ball moving in the 
matter of getting up Private Theatricals. Now it is well 
for such a one to consider beforehand which of his ac- 
quaintances, male and female, are gifted with the kind of 
intelligence, vivacity or personal appearance that will 
best meet the requirements of his scheme, before he asks 
any one to join his company, for on a judicious primary 
selection success often depends. As the original members 
of an Amateur Company usually consider they hold pre- 
ferential rights over those that join afterwards, the import- 
ance of selecting those who seem to possess the greatest 
amount of dramatic talent becomes palpably evident ; so 
the founder of a company should look far a-field before he 
commits himself by any invitation to enrollment. The se- 
lection of acquaintances having been carefully and thought- 
fully made, and the assent of each person obtained, it be- 
comes necessary to call all the members together, for the 
purpose of properly organizing the company. This meet- 
ing is usually held at the house of the person who is dis- 
posed to place rooms at disposal for giving the entertain- 
ment. 

THE MANAGER. 

The first step is to select an Acting Manager, whose 
duties are to advise on the judicious selection of plays, 
train the members to the proper execution of their several 
parts, and act as chairman at their necessary meetings, 



8 THE MANAGED 

rehearsals ; etc. It is palpable that the Acting Manager 
should be one possessiDg some literary attainments and ex- 
perience with the modern stage; not necessarily a profes- 
sional actor— far from it — but one familiar with the proper 
representation of plays and stage business. This implies 
that he should be a senior in the Company, possibly one 
more disposed to guide his juniors than take " a part"; at 
any rate, one whose authority, on all occasions, would be 
undisputed. Next in election should be a Stage Manager, 
to whom should be delegated the arrangement of the 
stage, the production of the scenes, properties and effects. 
This office should be filled by one possessing mechanical 
and artistic tastes and acquirements. He should direct in 
the absence of the Acting Manager. The Acting and 
Stage Managers should work in unison in carrying out the 
arrangement of the stage at dress rehearsals and on nights 
of performance. The office of Prompter is better filled, in 
an Amateur Company, by the Acting Manager, who, by 
drilling his actors, not only becomes familiar with each 
play, but with individual shortcomings, so that he is ever 
on the alert to prompt those who are most likely to require 
his aid. It need hardly be said that his prompts should be 
given sotto voce. The distribution of parts among the 
Company must be left wholly, or at least mainly, to the 
judgment of the Acting Manager, who should assign the va- 
rious parts to the different actors solely with reference to 
their several abilities and individual fitness, avoiding even 
the suspicion of favoritism. There are almost always, when 
the parts are distributed, some grounds for dissatisfaction 
and jealousy, real or imaginary, which only the strictest im- 
f partiality on the part of the Acting Manager can prevent 
from being the commencement of discord. In small Amateur 
Companies, the duties of both Acting and Stage Manager 
are usually fulfilled by one person, who is manager of the 
whole, in order to insure uniformity and smoothness in 
mounting the plays ; but where the actors are more numer- 



GESTEEAL AEEAXGEMENTS. 9 

ous, and the scenery and properties are more pretentious, 
the Acting Manager will have his hands full enough by 
attending to the rehearsals, etc., leaving the details of tho 
stage to be cared for by the Stage Manager. 

THEATEICAL MUSIC. 

Music is a very necessary accessory to theatrical repre- 
sentations ; not only for filhng up time between change of 
scenes, and as accompaniment to songs, choruses, etc., but 
in adding to the effect of stage business j as, when sleep 
gradually steals over a person— a murderer creeps towards 
his victim— the moment of the deadly blow— the slow de- 
velopment of a phantom — the raging of a storm, etc. A 
piano, drum, cornet and violin will form a respectable or- 
chestra for Private Theatricals. Amateur performers on 
these instruments can generally be found who are willing 
to join the Company, otherwise professional musicians 
should be engaged. In either case, the musicians must 
act according to the instructions of the Acting Manager, 
and be especially attentive to the requirements of all stage 
business. Other instruments may be added, where attain- 
able, as long as the orchestra does not become too big for 1 
the room the performances are given in. The orchestra 
should be placed in any convenient position that will not 
intercept the full view of the stage from the auditorium. 
A code of signals should be established between the 
Prompter and the Leader of the Band. 

GENERAL ARRANGEMENTS. 

The funds necessary for covering the expense of fitting 
up the stage, scenery, properties, effects, fighting, etc., are 
matters to be adjusted according to the special circum- 
stances attending the formation of each Company. 

Whether it be determined that the dresses shall be home- 
made, or supplied by a costumer, each member should 
provide the dress assigned to his or her part, accurately 



10 RULES FOR AN AMATEUR COMPANY. 

made according to the design provided by the Stage 
Manager. 

The Members of every Amateur Company formed must 
distinctly understand — whether their parts be prominent or 
subordinate — that, in the interests of unity of design and 
perfect organization, so necessary for the proper working 
of any performance, they must be punctual to all appoint- 
ments made for rehearsals, etc., master their parts per- 
fectly, and obey willingly every direction of the Acting 
Manager, who must be regarded as undisputed com- 
mander-in-chief of all the forces. 

KULES FOR AN AMATEUR COMPANY. 

The annexed rules are of course subject to modification, but 

will form a sound basis whereon to work efficiently. 
[Title.] 
THE AMATEUR THESPIAN'S. 

I. — That this Club be called the Amateur Thespians. 

II. — That the Club be composed of Acting Members and Hon- 
orary Officers (to be known as "the Company"), and 
Patrons. 

III. — That the business of the Club be conducted by an Acting 
Manager, a Stage Manager, a Secretary and Treasurer. 

IY. — That every Acting Member shall pay an entrance fee of 

, and a monthly subscription of '-, to be paid in 

advance, and every Patron (Subscribing Yisitors to the 
Auditorium) an annual subscription of not less than . 

Y.— (a.) That ladies or gentlemen desirous of joining "the 
Company" be introduced by members at any Ordinary 
Meeting, and elected by ballot at the next Ordinary Meet- 
ing. Three black balls to exclude. 

(b.) That ladies or gentlemen be enrolled as Patrons on 
their being approved by two-thirds of the Company 
present at any Ordinary Meeting. 

YI. — That if any member be desirous of resigning, such person 
must give one month's written notice to the Secretary at 
the time of paying the monthly subscription. 



RULES FOR AN AMATEUR COMPACT. 11 

Til.— That the Officers of this Club be elected annually, at a 
General Meeting of the Company called for the purpose. 

Till. — That all entrance fees, subscriptions, fines, etc., be paid to 

the Secretary, who shall give a receipt for same, and 

. periodically pay over ail cash so received to the Treasurer. 

IX. — That all scenery, fittings, costumes, properties, books and 
materials required shall be purchased out of the funds (by 
vote, including two-thirds of the Company present at any 
Ordinary Meeting), and then become the property of the 
Club; and any member damaging such property willfully, 
or through carelessness, shall make good the amount of 
damage done. 

X. — That every member shall implicitly obey the directions of 
the Acting Manager, whose authority must be subscribed 
to as absolute. 

XI. — That the designs for the costumes, together with the me- 
chanical, scenic, decorative, and all other artistic arrange- 
ments, be under the control of the Stage Manager, subject 
to approval of the Acting Manager. 

XII. — That the pieces be selected by ballot by the members of 
the Company, subject to the approval and judgment of 
the Acting Manager. 

XIII. — That the parts be assigned to the actors by the Acting 
Manager. 

XIT. — That all " calls" for Meetings of the Acting Members be 
punctually attended ; any member causing delay to the 
business of a Meeting, without satisfactory cause being 
assigned, shall be fined . 

XT. — That every member to whom any part has been assigned 
is expected to attend every rehearsal of which due notice 
or call has been given ; failure in this respect, or absence 
on the night of the performance, unless for reasons per- 
fectly satisfactory to the Acting Manager, may subject the 
offender to expulsion from the Club. 

XTL — That at the Annual Meeting, held at the end of each sea- 
son, the Secretary shall submit a Eeport on the proceed- 
ings, progress and property of the Club, together with the 



12 



HOW TO AKKANGE A STAGE. 



Treasurer's balance sheet of its funds, audited by two of 

the Patrons. 
XVII. — That any infringement of these rules shall subject a 

member to expulsion from this Club, on the majority of its 

Officers so deciding. 
XVIII. — That every member shall sign these Eules on admission 

to the Club, and such act shall be regarded as one of loyal 

subscription to the provisions made therein, in the cause of 

good organization and necessary discipline. 

HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 

In country houses and city mansions rooms are often to 




D.D 



W 



w 



be met with which both as to size and height are admira- 
bly adapted for the requirements of Private Theatricals; 



HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 13 

but for these, so variable are they as to disposition of parts 
and adjoining rooms, that it would be impossible to give a 
common plan, on which absolute directions could be given. 
On the other hand, nearly all town and suburban houses 
conform to a common type, which is given in Fig. 1, where- 
in B indicates the back room, the part usually devoted to 
the stage, and F the front room, usually devoted to the 
audience; though this disposition may be reversed with 
advantage, when the back room gives sufficient accommo- 
dation for the audience, as the additional side space pro- 
vides convenience for actors in waiting, but more especially 
for the properties, for working " effects," etc., and the or- 
chestra. D D indicates the part occupied by the usual 
folding doors, which form the opening through which the 
stage is seen, whichever be the disposition of front and 
back rooms ; D indicates the usual doors leading from the 
staircase, S j and d a door that exists when a third room 
leads out of the back room. Such third room may be used 
as a dressing-room or store-room for properties, when the 
back room is devoted to the stage. The dressing-rooms 
are usually the bed-rooms upstairs, sometimes small rooms 
down-stairs; in either case they are reached by the stairs, S, 
through either of the doors, D,. whichever be the disposi- 
tion of F and B for stage and auditorium. Where this 
type of house construction exists, the folding doors provide 
for a " Proscenium," or the partition necessary to separate 
the stage from the auditorium. In houses where this ar- 
rangement of rooms does not exist, it becomes necessary 
to divide the longest room in the house into two equal or 
unequal parts by a draped or built-up proscenium, in a 
manner hereafter described. 

The Auditorium should be arranged with low 
forms or benches for the children in front, cane-bottom set- 
tees for the young people in the middle, with sofas at the 
back and stuffed chairs at the sides for the elders, while a 
portion next to the prompt-side should be set apart for the 



14 HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 

orchestra, should there not be accommodation for the 
musicians behind the curtain. It is well to have one or 
two lively youths in the front, to see that the visitors are 
promptly provided with places, that the youngsters keep 
their places, and do not stand up or interrupt the perform- 
ance. 

A Folding-door Proscenium is readily formed if 
that side of the frame- work is next to the audience on which 
the pair of doors do not fold back, for then it is only neces- 
sary to drape the opening with crimson or other dark- 
colored curtains, arranged in graceful folds, as shown in 




Fig. 2. If the side on which the doors fold back is that 
presented to the auditorium, then a built-up proscenium of 
still more imposing aspect may be formed, by throwing 
the doors back to a suitable angle and fitting on framed 
top and angle-pieces, covered with canvas (painted to 
match the color of the doors), in the manner shown in 



HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 



15 



Fig. 3. Where a room has to he divided into stage and audi- 
torium, a proscenium must he formed out of drapery, as 




FIG. 3. 

shown in Fig. 4, or he "built up with three frame-work 
panels, as shown in Fig. 5. 

A Draped Proscenium is the simplest and quick- 
est to make, consequently the "best for extemporized purpos- 
es, as, when a play is got up at the spur of the moment, all 
that is required is a lath, about 2 inches by 1£ thick, 
and nearly as long as the width of the room, four long win- 
dow-curtains of merino or other thick but pliable material 
for the sides, and others for festooning the top. Or the top 
and side draperies may be formed of chintz entwined with 
muslin, so as to give a very light and elegant aspect to the 
proscenium, while a pair of green, red, or other dark- colored 
curtains are employed for the drop. Whenever there is 
time to procure the best material for this kind of prosce- 
nium, it is better to purchase crimson baize for the top 



16 



HOW TO AEEANGE A STAGE. 



and side draperies, green baize for the central curtain 
(see page 22), and amber-colored trimmings to border 




the crimson baize with, the Grecian "meandering 
square" being the most appropriate pattern. The two side 
curtains are first tacked to one side of the lath in fluted 
plaits, then the top-piece is tacked over, and festooned 
with amber-colored cord. The pair of central curtains are 
tacked flat to the other side of the lath with their thin 
edges overlapping, and cords arranged so that they may be 
drawn up as shown in Fig. 4, or lowered to close in the 
stage as indicated by the dotted lines. The reefing cord 
should embrace each curtain, and be sewn to their front 
edges at the proper spots for producing symmetrical fes- 
toons, and pass over rings (used as pulleys) fixed to the 
lath. To ensure the fall of the curtains on the reefing 
cords being loosened, bullets should be sewn into their 
front edges just below tho point at which the cords are 



HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 



17 



fixed, and again within an inch or two of the ground. The 
lath thus draped must now be drawn up in position by 




FIG. 5. 

means of stout ropes fastened to its ends, passed through a 
screw or staple rings, screwed or driven into the walls on 
each side of the room as near to the ceiling as possible. 
The back view of this arrangement is shown in Fig. 4. 
The supporting rod may be arranged so as to be adjustable 
to the width of any room, by employing two overlapping 
laths, which after being put together so as to fill out a re- 
quired width are then screwed together. 

A Framed Proscenium may be built up with 
three panels, in the following manner : — Strips of pine 11 
inches wide, 1 inch thick (before rough planing), are cut 
into lengths suitable for forming the three panels, shown 
in Fig. 5. The exact size of the two side and top panels 
is of course dependent on the width and height of the 
room. If very wide, this proscenium may be supplement- 



18 HOW TO AEEANGE A STAGE. 

ed with curtains on each side and drapery above, after the 
disposition shown in Fig. 2 j but as a rule, a width of from 
two to three feet will prove sufficient, their length being 
governed absolutely by the height of the room that has to 
be fitted up. The pine strips being cut to the required 
lengths, a panel frame is formed by placing the four 
lengths together ? as shown in Fig. 6, care being taken that 
the ends are perfectly squared. They are then primarily 
connected together by four long stout screws ; which, how- 
ever, only act as dowel pins, real strength being given by 
cutting four angle-pieces out of sheet iron and screwing 
them on to the four strips, in the manner as indicated in 
Fig. 6. The screws should be greased with tallow before 




PIG. 6. 

insertion, to allow of their being readily withdrawn, should 
it prove desirable to take these frames to pieces, for the 
purpose of closer packing at the end of each season. The 
frames thus formed are then covered with muslin, primed 
and colored according to the directions given under the 
head of Scene Painting. In Fig. 5 the side panels are 
supposed to be 2 feet 6 inches or 3 feet wide, which ad- 
mits of figures of the Tragic and Comic Muses being in- 
serted. Where, however, the panels cannot be wider than 
two feet, it is better to replace the figures with tragic and 
comic masks, grouped with appropriate accessories and 
ribands. The top panel is suspended near the ceiling, as 
presently described ; the side panels are connected to it by 
iron hooks and eyes, and their lower ends are made fast to 
two blocks nailed to the floor by the same means. To 
prevent any light from the stage showing through the two 



HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE 19 

cracks left where these three panels join each other, they 
must be covered over at the hack with strips of glued 
muslin, which may afterwards be painted over with white- 
wash, to make the job effectual and add strength to the 
structure. The muslin must be evenly stretched upon the 
frames, as it is fastened down to the sides with tacks, and 
the edges of the muslin should be folded double to give 
extra strength to the fabric where the strain comes upon 
the nails, the tacks of course being knocked through the 
seam thus formed. 

The Stage for amateur performances in a private 
house may be fitted up in the following simple and econom- 
ical manner, designed with the view of obtaining the 
necessary points of support for scenes, side scenes, or 
wings, sky borders, curtain, etc., with the least amount of 
injury to the walls of a handsomely papered parlor; it pre- 
sents further advantages in leaving the floor free from 
all encumbrances, and admits of everything being rigged 
up and removed in less than an hour, when once the several 
parts have been properly put together. The first thing is 
to get a curtain pole, P, Fig. 7, nearly as long as the 
width of the room that is to be devoted to the stage ; this 
is suspended by cords from two stout hooks, driven into 
the walls on each side of the room, at a height of 8i feet 
from the floor, at the point fixed upon for the erection of 
the proscenium. The next thing to do is to fit, by loops 
over this pole, two half-inch poles, L L, which must be 
carried to the wall at the back of the stage, and there 
fixed to two similar hooks driven in 8 feet apart, and at the 
same height from the floor as the others. As it is neces- 
sary both ropes should be fixed " taut," it is better to at- 
tach two India-rubber springs, S S — such as are used for 
making doors self-closing— to the ends of each of them, 
so adjusted as to be 3 or 4 inches short of the wall when 
slack, which necessitates the springs being pulled out to 
get their terminal rings over the hooks. On being fixed; 



20 



HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 





HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 21 

these, of course, act as stretchers, and cause the pole and 
pair of cords to form a firm frame- work, on which the 
scenes, etc., can be suspended. The loops allow of the 
ropes being readily adjusted on the pole at any 
convenient or variable distance from each other. 
Each rope is furnished with six adjustable sus- 
pending hooks, H, of the form shown in Fig. 8 ; 
two pair for borders, B, two pair for wings or side 
scenes, W, and two pair for scenes, C, Fig. 7. 
The borders, B, are mounted on long rollers fitted 
with loops, by which they are affixed to the sus- 
pending hooks. Every border is appropriate to 
the scene— as, "sky," for a sea or landscape; 
"wood," for a forest; "rock," for a cavern; 
-F^Tg. " ceiling," for a cottage, hall, etc.; " drapery," 
for a saloon, etc. 

The Wings or Side Scenes, W, are mounted 
on short laths and rollers, with cords attached to the ends 
of the laths, by which they are suspended to the hooks. 
This arrangement, shown in Fig. 7, admits of great free- 
dom of adjustment for the side scenes, as they can be set 
parallel with, or at any desired angle to, the scene ; or be 
pushed far on, or drawn back off the stage. When rolled 
up they occupy little space. 

The Scenes are mounted on a pair of light rollers, 
and are attached to the suspending hooks by cord loops 
fixed to each roller. To save material and space, the 
scenes and wings are painted on both sides ; the wings 
back to back, so that by their simple rotation a change can 
be effected; but in the scenes they are painted head and 
tail— that is to say, the sky on one side corresponds to fore- 
ground on the other side ; so that, to reverse the sides in a 
cramped space, it is only necessary for two persons to raise 
each end of the lower roller and fix its loops to the sus- 
pending hooks, then unloop the roller that had previously 
been uppermost, and gently lower it to the ground. The 



22 



HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 



borders are also painted back to back. For scene-shifting 

it is necessary to have two pair of folding steps, if the 

scenes are higher than can be reached 

when one stands upon a chair. When 

the room admits of lofty scenes, it is a 

convenient plan to raise and lower the 

scenes by means of endless ropes, 

working through rings or pulleys, P P, 

attached to the side ropes, S S, and 

floor j in which case the rollers of the 

scenes, C, are attached by S -hooks, H, 

to loops made on the endless ropes, R 

R ; as shown in Fig. 9. 

The Green Curtain that 
closes the opening in the proscenium, 
F, Fig. 7, is tied by tapes on to an 
iron rod, D, suspended from the pole, 
P, and is looped up or closed by the 
arrangement of cords shown in Fig. 4, 
which can be worked by the Prompter 
from his own particular corner. 

The Drop Curtain. The cur- 
tain may be made of green baize or 
green mushn, doubled. Up the back 
of the curtain, along a strong linen 
tape, must be firmly sewn rows of 
brass rings, each row being about two feet from the side 
edges of the curtain, and about the same distance from each 
other, and the rings in each row are to be placed about six 
inches apart. Ahem is made at the bottom of the curtain, 
through which a stiff wire should be run to keep it steady. 

The curtain may be fixed to the top of the frame by 
means of strong tacks. 

Cords are now passed through the rings and fastened to 
the wire, then passed over pulleys on the upper piece of 
the frame. On pulling the cords, if the pulleys and rings 




HOW TO AEEANGE A STAGE. 



23 



are properly adjusted; the curtain will rise easily. When 

» D I> 



/ 


id's 


! ^^ 

^/\|! ,C | 

> 


6 *i 




' /J ■ 


' ml 




/ 


/'/// 


^ ^ 



FIG. 10. 

A A— Top of the Frame. B B— Curtain. C— Cords and Rings. 

D D— Pulleys. E E— Wire. 

the curtain is up the cords are fastened to a hook secured 




FIG. 11.— BACK OF THE fiTTRT ATW. 

to the left side of the frame about three feet from the floor. 



24 



HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 



For a small stage only three rows of rings are necessary. 
The annexed engravings (Figs. 10 and 11 ) will show tho 
simplicity of the arrangement. 

Lighting the Stage. This is readily effected if 
gas is attainable, otherwise lamps must he employed. The 
simplest method of fitting up gas footlights is to procure a 
plank the width of the opening in the proscenium, on 
which fix an iron pipe fitted with fish-tail burners, nine 
inches apart, and a T joint to admit of its connection by 
two elbow joints, and the necessary length of iron tubing, 
with the gas supply beneath the flooring, in the manner 
shown at G- G, Fig. 7. But this can only safely be en- 
trusted to a gasfitter. The connection with the house sup- 
ply should be made in the side of the stage selected as the 
"prompt corner," so that the height of the gas may be 
regulated by the Prompter by means of a stopcock, to 
meet the requirements of each scene. To reflect the 
light from the burners well over the stage from floor to sky 
borders, several sheets of tinned iron, soldered together 
to correspond to the length of the plank, must be fixed at 
the proper angle found by trial. The bottom edg^e of the 
sheet of tin being placed against the back edge of the 

plank, a bearing is secured, and it can then w 

be kept at the right inclination by -chain sup- 
ports, as shown at G-, Fig. 7. It is also advan- 
tageous to have gas burners on each side of 
the stage itself, not only for working by when 
the curtain is down, but to serve as " wing 
lights" for the better illumination of the side 
j scenes, W, and to counteract the density of 
the shadows of the actors, thrown by the I 
foot-lights on the wings. When gas is not 
attainable, lamps must be employed, mounted 
with semicircular sheet tin reflectors, as 
shown in Fig. 12, which also serve to screen 
the fights when necessary, by the simple act of turning 




HOW TO AHHAKTrE A STAGE. 



25 



the open side to the wall. Dwarf dome-shaped lamps of 
the Argand construction are "best suited for the " float" 
or footlights. Some four or five of them can be placed on 
a plank, B, fitted with a reflector, E, similar to the gas 
float previously described, but with the addition of a light 
frame, H, which can be turned up when the stage has to 
be darkened, as shown in Fig. 13. 

Mediums must be provided both for foot and wing 
fights when required to throw suitable tints upon the 
stage— such as moonlight, firelight, etc. For the wing 
lights colored glasses are best, but for the footlights stout 
wire frames covered with colored silk or "tammy" are 
the more durable and cheaper. Pale phosphorescent blu- 




ish green being the proper tint for moonlight, deep blood- 
red for firelight, yellow for bright, sunny scenes, rose tint 
for sunset; but the two first are the most important for the 
footlights — all the others for the wing lights. The colored 
glasses, M, are supported by stout wires, "W W, soldered 
to the upper part of the tin reflector, E, as shown in Fig. 
12. The wire frames covered with colored material, M, 
may be simply rested against the two uprights, U, of the 
float lights, L, as shown in Fig. 13, and laid one upon the 
other in front of the floats when not in use. Two young- 
sters should be delegated to attend to the footlights and 
mediums, and be provided with seats on each side of the 
front row of the auditorium. 



26 



HOW TO AKEANGE A STAGE. 



Calcium-light Effects can be produced with an 
ordinary magic lantern fitted with Si condensers. A 
blight divergent beam of light tinted blue, green, red, 
violet, is often required for ghost, moonlight, firelight, 
demoniacal, lightning, etc., " effects," and this is produced 
by the ordinary optical system of a magic lantern, L, con- 
sisting of the "condensers," C, and the "power," P; or, as 
at the theatres, with the condensers only, in what is called a 
"■ theatre (calcium) light." It is therefore better to procure a 
lantern of the form shown in Fig. 14, wherein the sliding 




FIG. 14. 

tube carrying the power, P, is removable, rather than the 
ordinary article with a conical front tube. The powerful 
Argand lamp usually supplied with magic lanterns may be 
used, but the effects produced will not compare with the 
vividness of the calcium light. The safest and most com- 
pact calcium-light apparatus is that shown in Fig. 14, 
wherein the oxygen is condensed into a small iron bottle, O, 
and the hydrogen (carbureted) is obtained from the ordi- 
nary house supply. The house gas is conveyed from a tap, 
T, (inserted in iron gas tube, G, Fig. 7, in the prompt cor- 
ner) by a flexible India-rubber tubing to the oxyhydrogen 
jet, J, and connected therewith, the oxygen bottle being 



HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 27 

connected in a similar manner. The cock from the house 
gas supply b^ing turned full on, the hydrogen tap of the 
jet, J, is first turned full on to clear the tubes and jet, and 
is then turned nearly down and the gas lighted. When 
the lime cylinder on which the flame impinges is well 
warmed, the lever tap of the condensed gas bottle is 
turned very gently till a sufficiency of oxygen is mixed 
with the hydrogen to make the lime glow with an inteuse 
incandescent light. The hydrogen tap may be turned a 
little more, and then the lever of the bottle, and so on, till 
the light has been " coaxed up" to the brightest attainable, 
for if suddenly brought to this point, the lime cylinder 
would probably crack. The oxygen tap of the jet, J, is 
turned full on from first to last and never used, all adjust- 
ments being made direct from the bottle, 0, by the lever 
of the valve head. By pushing the fight towards the con- 
denser of the lantern or pulling it away, the rays may be 
made to form a diverging, parallel, or converging beam of 
light. The arrangement of condensed gas herein described 
is not so universally known as the gas bag system, with its 
cumbrous pressure boards and half-hundred weights, oc- 
cupying much space, which can ill be spared on a drawing- 
room stage ; nevertheless such an apparatus is procurable 
from those opticians who go ahead with the times. It is 
the method universally adopted at the New York thea- 
tres, and ought to be everywhere, if only for the reason of 
its perfect immunity from danger, a serious explosion 
being a thing impossible. The magic lantern is service- 
able for many other effects that can only be produced by 
its means on an amateur stage. 

Colored Fires are procurable of the firework 
makers, but on account of the suffocating smoke they give 
off they are — both in consideration of actors and audience 
— better avoided, and the lime-light with colored mediums 
resorted to in place thereof. If absolutely necessary, they 
should be burnt upon a short-handled iron shovel, and as 



28 HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 

soon as the curtain is down the shovel should be plunged 
into a pail of water standing ready, and the windows, 
doors, etc., thrown open, to ventilate the stage as quickly 
as possible. 

HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 

The kind of scenery required has been described in the 
previous chapters j and, it will be noted, all framework is 
avoided, for the reason that anything like "flats," or those 
scenes which divide in the centre, would occupy too much 
space when not in use to be suitable for a drawing-room 
stage ; while, on the other hand, scenes, side scenes, and 
borders mounted on rollers occupy the smallest possible 
space when wound up, and side scenes, when mounted on 
laths and rollers, are quite firm enough to shut out the 
wings and meet all other requirements. 

It is as well, however, to meet the position that not un- 
frequently presents itself to go-ahead amateurs, wherein 
there is not sufficient time to prepare scenery, when an 
entertainment is got up on the spur of the moment, or 
where the lady of the house, having a nervous dread of 
damaged wall-papers, " really thinks that scenery is going 
a little too far." Under such circumstances there is only 
one way to meet the difficulty, and that is to adopt the 
mediaeval dodge of " The Classic Period of the Stage," 
viz., indicate every scene by a printed placard fixed upon 
a curtain of the darkest colored material that can be ob- 
tained (a deep mulberry tint being the best as a general 
background to the dresses), and at such a height as to be 
seen above the heads of the actors ; this curtain of course 
being hung at the very back of the room or stage. Then 
boldly . make the best of things by giving some such 
Opening Address as the following : 
PROLOGUE. 
Curtain draivs up and discovers the Manager. 

Ladies and Gentlemen : — 

I am Stage Manager, [boivs a self-introduction] 



HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 29 

But without scenery, 

Gorgeous decorations and machinery. 

[Shrugs his shoulders disparagingly. 
Sole properties — two chairs, one table. 
Such a fix might any man disable. [Despairingly. 

But, as Necessity begets Invention, 
Let us at once establish a convention. 
The scenes not being Morgan's, must be Fancy's sketch, 
"Which on imagination please oblige me just to etch; 
And, that all changes you may discern with ease, 
I've invented these distinctions, 
"Which you'll notice if you please. 

This denotes a Scene — {whistles} this an Act — [rings bell} 
Pray pay attention to that stubborn fact ! 

But our dresses have been bought regardless of expense, 
"Which we all hope may beget your admiration, most intense. 

What need for grief? — Men in the olden time 
Placed all their trust in reason and in rhyme ; 
And a rude platform's unattractive plane 
Foreran the stately stage of Drury Lane. 
By pageantry or ballet-girls effected, 
A most tremendous hit was ne'er expected. 
Then all relied on Shakespeare — Avon's bard, 
Beaumont and Fletcher, Jonson, Foote, Kinnaird. 
Scenes ! — they had none, but on a covered frame, 
Hung at the back, was there inscribed the name 
Of whereso'er the mimic scene was laid — 
As, Macbeth's Castle— Open Sea — A Glade. 
Then trusted Managers to classic fame, 
More than the clap-trap of a painter's name. 
Having enlisted in our Thespian band, 
We by such ancient customs take our stand ; 
On this rough tablet we the lines display, 
Which carry you, in Fancy, far away 
To woods and forests, valleys, mountains steep, 
To halls of dazzling light, or dungeons deep, 
In the mind's eye ; and if they're viewed aright 
Will serve for painted scenes, almost — perhaps not quite. 



30 HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 

Our actors may not hope to equal one 
Like Kernble, Bannister or Elliston; 
Or Suet — he who, in a storm caught tripping, 
Foreswore his name— and swore that he was Dripping. 

Our actresses cannot expect to vie 

With brightest Stars that gem the Thespian sky; 

Despair they need not, for they yet will find 

None to the softer sex can prove unkind ; 

While youth and beauty form the female shield, 

The stoutest censor to the fair must yield. 

Then let me lastly your indulgence crave 

For any faults we may perchance to have. 

And should our feeble efforts naught avail ; 

Should after all our best endeavors fail ; 

Still let some mercy in your bosom live, 

And if you can't applaud, at least forgive. 
It must "be remembered that many pieces may be selected 
wherein the scenes are laid in modern interiors, and much 
may be done by arranging the room used as a stage to 
make it look homely or luxurious, according to require- 
ment. Thus, should there be a window at the back, by 
putting up common check curtains or delicate chintz, 
elegant muslin or rich damask, fitting up the fireplace to 
match, and selecting kitchen, bed-room, boudoir or draw- 
ing-room furniture to correspond, with appropriate wall 
decorations, such as common colored prints, framed paint- 
ings, vases, mirrors, etc., the aspect of a garret, cottage, 
bed-room, boudoir, library or drawing-room may be given 
to one and the same room, to make it serve for varied 
scenes. Much may be said in favor of such arrangements, 
as thereby no space is lost that, as a rule, can ill be spared ; 
and the danger of making the actors look gigantic, by 
dwarfing the room with side scenes and top borders, is 
avoided. Nevertheless, there are many good plays suited 
for home representation that require the accessories of 
scenic effect to make the tout ensemble sufficiently realistic. 
In preparing the flats and side wings to represent the in- 



HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 31 

terior of a room, cheap wall paper and borders in imita- 
tion of cornices may "be arranged in the shape of panels, 
and form an elegant scene with little labor and outlay. A 
limited number of typical scenes, by a judicious interchange 
of side scenes, borders, etc., may be made to go along 
way for the purposes of private theatrical representations ; 
and these may be produced at trifling cost, if ; as is usual, 
some one with artistic taste is to be found amongst one's 
circle of friends who is ready to enter into the enterprise. 
Certain rules must be attended to in the production of the 
designs for such scenes, to avoid the absurdities that 
might arise where the actors are forced into too close prox- 
imity with the scenery. Thus perspective views are better 
avoided ; but, if necessary, the foreground must be pro- 
portionate to the height of the actors — whether they be 
children, youths or adults— and any perspective view must 
be represented as in the distance. "Wood scenes must rep- 
resent the trunks of trees rather than the upper foliage, 
with plenty of undergrowth, bold patches of ferns, etc. 
Kocky valleys must have large boulders or ledges in the 
foreground. Modern streets must only embrace the lower 
portions of the houses ; ancient ones may have a market- 
place fountain in the foreground, with the houses receding 
or lying far behind. So with the side scenes — if a cottage 
is represented, the porch only should be given. " Sky n 
borders, for out-of-door scenes, are quite inappropriate, as 
they come too close down upon the heads of the actors ; 
so the side and back scenes are better closed in with vine 
trellis, or other foliaged borders. This kind of defect is 
not felt where ceiling, forest, or cavern borders are em- 
ployed. 

The aspect of a scene may be materially altered by 
using " accessory pieces," which are made of separate bits 
of linen strengthened by pasting brown paper on each 
side and fastened to the scenery by means of diagram pins 
and discs of cork, so as to cover certain parts of the 



32 HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 

scene. Thus for an antique chamber the walls must be 
ornamented with armor and stags' heads, but when a 
library or parlor aspect is desired, accessory pieces repre- 
senting family portraits must be affixed to the panels. 
Again, in a modern interior, the cracks in the wall that 
meet the requirements of a dilapidated room are covered 
over with accessory pieces which represent water-color 
drawings in gilt frames. Other accessory pieces may rep- 
resent mirrors, statuary or clocks on brackets, and these, 
in conjunction with the hints previously given, as to the 
use of varied appropriate draperies hung upon a curtain 
pole suspended in front of the window, furniture, etc., pro- 
vide means for ringing the changes upon interiors to a 
wonderful extent. 

If we desire a village scene, we can take a landscape, 
and by the addition of a cottage porch, a tree, and a vine 
trellis or forest border, and a signboard accessory hung 
below the border in front of the porch converts this into a 
village inn. If we want a garden scene, the porch or 
tree gives place to a flower-bed side scene, in conjunction 
with a white garden-palings " ground piece" across the 
back of the stage, if required. 

If a smugglers' cave is desired, we form our landscape 
into a seascape, by fixing in front of it an accessory piece 
representing waves ; in front of this, at a suitable distance, 
a rock-ground piece in reversed position ; and rocky side 
scenes and border make up the entrance to the cave, with 
sea and sky in the distance. These are sufficient hints to 
indicate how such a set of stock scenes (painted only as 
occasion calls for, be it observed) may be worked to give 
very varied aspects, by the employment of a little inge- 
nuity on the part of the Stage Manager of the Company. 

Bridges are exceptional requirements, but when needed 
may be made up with a couple of planks resting on fold- 
ing steps, placed on each side of the stage, with a car- 
penter's trestle for a central bearing ; appropriate hand- 



HOW TO PAIXT THE SCENES. 



33 



rails and uprights, painted balustrades, etc., being added, 
according as a rustic, castellated, Chinese or other special 
foreign aspect has to be given to it. 

"Practicable" doors may be made with 
a tall fire-screen or clothes-horse; one 
frame, covered with brown paper, muslin, 
etc., apxu-opriately paneled, is placed be- 
tween two side scenes connected by a top 
piece, painted to suit the character of an 
exterior or interior, as may be needed, 
i- ig. 15. C C, clothes-horse ; S S, side scene. 

Window-frames are made of black tape tacked across 
and interwoven to represent square or diamond panes. 
Where persons have to pass or look in at or out of a win- 
dow, scenes with such windows must have another scene 
behind them to represent a bright, dark, or moonlit sky, 
interior, or other appropriate background. 



S 

c /o 




Having said enough about designing and planning the 
scenery, it is time to give some instructions how to prepare 



34 



HOW TO PAIXT THE SCEKES. 



and paint scenes. First, it is necessary to select a room or 
outhouse lofty enough to admit of the full-sized scenes be- 
ing fixed upon the sketching frame ; the size suited for or- 
dinary rooms is 9 feet high by 10 feet wide, but of course 
they can be made lower or higher, should the room select- 
ed for the stage be shallow or lofty. Next, a sketching 
frame must be constructed of four laths united together, 
so that their faces may lie in one plane ; or, to save the 
after attachment of the cloths to the rollers, the rollers 
may be made to form part of the sketching frame, as 
' shown in Fig. 16, wherein U U are two uprights, each 
formed of two pieces, the front ones being as deep as the 
diameter of the rollers, with their upper edges cut off at 
an angle as shown at A, so as to form crotches in which 
the rollers get a bearing. The rollers being screwed to the 
back pieces of the uprights, a frame is formed. But if this 



5 6 7 8 







jjyyM Uj 


f 3 ?, 


i 


5' 'V . 


tT^i 




m*m&m 




- 


irn^mmm 



plan is adopted, great care must be taken in squaring the 
cloth to the rollers, before it is finally tacked down, or the 
scenes when painted will be out of the perpendicular. By 
workmanlike employment of square and plumb line, this 
error at starting can be avoided j a perpendicular, at right 
angles with the horizontal line of the roller, being struck 
at the left-hand edge, wherefrom the artist must work his 
design. 

The cheapest material for scenery, and that best able to 
stand wear and tear, is common unbleached muslin. A 
sufficient quantity, cut to proper lengths, having been pro- 
cured, they must be sewn together at the edges till the re- 



HOW TO TAINT THE SCENES. 



35 



quired width is obtained, and then the entire cloth must bo 
stretched upon the frame with tacks. Having first wetted 
the cloth ah over, and allowed it to dry to get all creases 
out, it is next primed {see page 37) on both sides and over 
the joins, and again alio wed to dry. The next step is to 
draw in the outline of the design with charcoal, and here 
a few hints are given how to secure the proportions on a 
large surface. Some scene painters enlarge by first di- 
viding their design (made to scale) into squares {see Fig. 
17), then they divide their canvas into a corresponding 
set of squares {see Fig. 18), and next sketch into each 
large square the portion of the design included in the cor- 
responding small square. This system may be carried to 




FIG. 18. 

a slavish extent that mars the bold effect capable of being 
produced by a good free-hand artist. Another plan for 
laving out the canvas is to stretch two long measuring 
iapes across the primed surface, so as to divide it horizon- 
tally into three sections, then by employing two similar 
tapes fixed as required, vertically, divide the space into 
small or large compartments, according as a given portion 
of the sketch design is full of detail or otherwise. The 



36 



HOW TO TAINT THE SCENES. 



tapes (see Fig. 19) must be parallel with the rollers 
and the vertical guide line struck on the left-hand side of 
the cloth. The scale of feet and inches on the tapes will 
often prove of service where there is much detail over 
several adjoining divisions. Of course the sketch design 
must also he divided into three horizontal divisions and 
small or large compartments, to counterpart the laying out 
of the canvas. 



o 




VJJl 



c 





-sy~~ r 




1) 

FIG. 19. 

Fig. 19 represents a stretched cloth laid out as de- 
scribed. The upper horizontal section being devoted to 
sky, the crossed tapes are not really required for this por- 
tion, as clouds are better dashed in with a free hand. As 
the design in the first portion of the middle section is very 
open work, a large compartment can be laid out for it ; but 
as there is detail in the next portion, a more circumscribed 
area is embraced by the vertical tapes. When the design 
as far as the second vertical tape has been sketched in, 
the left-hand tape is removed and fixed on the other side 
of the central one, small or large compartments being laid 



HOW TO PAIXT THE SCENES. 37 

off as the work in that part of the design demands, and 
so on till the same is entirely sketched in. Side scenes 
may be painted separately, by simply tacking the lengths 
against the wall of the painting room, or a full-sized 
scene cloth may be stretched and marked out into 2 fee Lor 
2 feet 6 inch widths, within which the wings may "be 
sketched and painted. Sky borders and ground pieces 
may be produced in the same way, only these are of course 
painted the length instead of the width of the cloth ; and 
it must be borne in mind that sky borders are the longest 
of all, as they must close in the outside edges of the side 
scenes. 

The " priming 7 ' is prepared by soaking over night two 
pounds of light-colored glue (broken into small pieces) in 
sufficient cold water to cover it completely; in the morn- 
ing the glue will be quite soft, and the whole should then 
be melted in a pot over a gentle fire until thoroughly dis- 
solved. (This, if allowed to cool, would solidify into a 
strong jelly, and is known under the name of "size.") While 
still hot, add to it about two gallons of hot water. In 
another pail smash up whiting with water till it is of the 
consistency of cream, then gradually add the size and 
water previously made, till the mixture is as thick in ap- 
pearance as good milk ; lastly, stir in a little more than 
half a pint of common molasses. This is the preparation 
employed for surfacing the muslin, two coats of which, on 
each side, are laid on with a large whitewashed or house- 
painter's brush. It is also used for mixing with the 
ground colors, obtainable at the paint stores, for the pro- 
duction of the body colors with which scenes are painted 
in what is termed distemper. 

The colors that will be found most generally useful are 
Venetian red, red lead, yellow ochre, yellow chrome, 
Brunswick green, ultramarine, indigo, brown ochre, burnt 
sienna and lampblack. By judicious intermixture various 
other colors and tints are produced, the most important 



38 HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 

being ultramarine with various proportions of white prim- 
ing, for sky and water tints. It may save disappointment 
by mentioning that ultramarine will not mix with other 
colors, muddy tints being the result. Red lead with vari- 
ous proportions of priming, for warm cloud tints, autumnal 
foliage, high lights, or trunks of trees. Brunswick green 
and yellow chrome for all shades of light green. Bruns- 
wick green and indigo for dark green. "Where metallic 
tints are necessary, foil paper must be employed ; these 
are cut out to the required shapes and are fixed to the cloth 
with thick paste; when dry they are shaded over with 
distemper. 

Before beginning to lay in distemper colors the effect to 
be produced must be well considered, or tried experiment- 
ally on a small scale beforehand ; for it is necessary to work 
quickly, and blend one color into another while wet, or, 
when dry, the effect will be streaky or hard. In mixing 
the colors it must be remembered that distemper dries 
lighter by from twenty to thirty shades, so that what 
would look effective and artistic while wet would come out 
very washy and weak when dry. Again, allowance must 
be made for the coloring being illuminated by artificial 
light, rich in yellow rays. You must commence by laying 
in the middle or half tints, over which are worked the high 
lights and shades. Broad effect with bold treatment must 
be aimed at, and niggling at details avoided, as scenery is 
not intended for close inspection; and here, truly, 

Distance lends enchantment to the view. 

All dark lines, etc., must be " marked up," with the proper 
pigments mixed with strong size. Distemper colors should 
be mixed in red earthen pipkins, as they must be kept 
warm during use, or the size would set and would not 
work freely. 

Enough has now been said to assist those who have ar- 
tistic taste and skill, but have not had any previous knowl- 
edge of scene-painting in distemper. Of course, no one 



HO"W TO PRODUCE EFFECTS. 39 

will make a scene who has not had practice in the use of 
pencil and brush. 

As regards shifting scenery, it is better, as a rule, to 
drop the curtain at the end of each scene ; the exception 
being in the case of trick-scenes or instantaneous changes 
in fairy pieces, or plays where dreams, visions, etc., are 
enacted, and these are rarely attempted by amateurs. 

HOW TO PRODUCE EFFECTS. 

Moonlight is best produced by placing all the wing 
lights, fitted with the appropriate mediums, on one side of 
the stage only, so as to rake the stage with slanting beams 
of green light. The magic lantern may also be brought 
into use with effect ; a medium being placed in its stage, 
and the light arranged for diverging beam, the rays may 
be directed slantingly through a cut open window, if a 
moon is necessary, a round hole must be cut out of the 
cloth, over which aperture a piece of fine linen must be 
glued, and when dry the disc must be well greased with 
salad oil. This must be illuminated from behind by the 
magic lantern, with the rays made parallel or sufficiently 
so to concentrate all the light upon the disc ; by suitable 
mediums a cold, bright or harvest moon may be represent- 
ed. On removing the light the moon is no longer visible, 
or it may be obscured by a bank of clouds cut out of brown 
paper and worked across the scene with cords. 

Lightning is best imitated by aid of the magic lan- 
tern. A violet medium being placed in its stage, the fight 
is exposed and cut off rapidly or in a flickering manner by 
the operator's hand placed before the nozzle. If the en- 
tire stage is to be illuminated with lightning flashes, it is 
better to place the lantern at the back of the auditorium, 
using what is called a "long focused" power, and cutting 
off all rays but those that just fill the aperture in the 
proscenium by an oblong card diaphragm cut to size by 
trial. This method of working from the back is also an 



40 



HOW TO PRODUCE EFFECTS. 



excellent method for illuminating the entire stage with 
moonbeams for a fairy glen, a phosphorescent green 
medium "being employed. In ghost scenes a weird effect is 
thus produced. A tolerably good imitation of lightning 
may be made by throwing a pinch of gunpowder through 
an open flame. There are tin tubes made for the pur- 
pose with fine holes at one end, to allow a small portion of 
finely powdered rosin to be dusted through aflame. Pow- 
dered lycopodium is also used, as it makes less smell in 
burning than either gunpowder or rosin. 



s 



Thunder is resembled by shaking a piece ( 
of sheet iron. With a little practice an admir- I 
able representation of the raging of a storm 
may be rendered. 

Hain is imitated, as to the various degrees 
of intensity of a storm, by the masterly use of 
a long square tube, crossed with partitions, as 
shown in Fig. 20, charged with a sufficient 
quantity of peas. On reversing and inclining 
this instrument the peas fall from one partition 
to another, and a noise is produced that sounds 
like the patter of a heavy fall of rain. Accord- 
ing as this tube is inclined from the horizontal 
to the perpendicular, so the patter becomes 
softer or louder. 

Wind is imitated by scraping the edge of J 
a broad strip of wood over a length of silk. n G . 20. 

Crashes are imitated according to the nature of the 
supposed cause. Thus, a door being broken in is repre- 
sented by turning the cogs of a watchman's rattle; the 
breaking of glass or crockery by turning over once or 
more a box filled with metal cuttings, such as sheet tin or 
brass, or broken crockery. 

Battle Scenes by the clashing of several basket- 
handled iron toy swords ; the roll of musketry or rifles by 



HOW TO PRODUCE EFFECTS. 



41 



means of a rattle ; the booming of cannon by strokes on a 
drumhead with a muffled drumstick ; the cries and cheers 
of the combatants by those not engaged on the stage. 
All such sounds must be made "off," while these on the 
boards engage in combat, exchange pistol or rifle shots, or 
else "look off," as if at a distant battle or field of action. 

Burning Buildings must be treated as off the 
stage, and the stage illuminated by all the wing lamps 
being brought to one side, fitted with red glasses. A lan- 
tern behind the audience may, with a suitable long slip 
slide in its stage, be made to produce a flickering effect — ■ 
now blood-red, now yellow, now dark, now yellow, now 
red again — with a very sensational addition to the acting. 

Fires in grates, furnaces, etc., must be produced by 
cutting out part of a side scene on which the grate, fur- 
nace, alchemical retort, etc., is painted. Cover the aper- 
ture with linen, as previously described for the moon (see 
page 39), paint up with red, yellow and purple varnish 
colors, and then illuminate the back. 




Moving Waterfalls, Fountains, etc., maybe 
imitated very effectively by a not very complicated contri- 



42 HOW TO PRODUCE EFFECTS. 

vance made as shown in Fig. 21, wherein an endle:^ LaaO 
of silver tissue is made to move downwards by thb c*ctiou 
of a drum supported on two uprights and wc*ked by a 
crank handle. This contrivance is placed uetween two 
half scenes of rocky aspect for a waterfall, and the higher 
it is carried up the better the effect. By a modification ot 
this arrangement, with accessory rol^rs, water sprites may 
be arranged so as to be seen through the falling tissue, or 
this may be placed behind t* u cut out cloth " represent- 
ing a fountain. In any caoO the transparent silver tissue 
must be effectively lighted by the magic lantern, its stage 
being fitted with radiums of various tints. 

Sunrise, fe^nset, and Night Effects may be 

produced by i. similar arrangement, by providing for an 
endless bcvcL: scene, on the two surfaces of which a sky, 
graduated from the roseate hues of morn to the ruddy 
tints or eve, through the gloaming of twilight into the 
deej> blue shades of night, is artistically painted. Such 
aricmgements may be regarded as aims too ambitious for 
auvdteurs, but there is no real difficulty in carrying these 
iato effect, if a little ingenuity, carpentering, and a mod- 
erate outlay of cash can be commanded. 

Vampire Traps, for the sudden appearance of such 
hobgoblins as the " Bottle Imp," " Heme the Hunter," etc., 
cannot be provided for the floor of the stage in a private 
house, so an arrangement must be made at the wings with 
two side scenes in counterpart, between which the actor 
stands, and the front wing is sharply drawn aside when he 
is to appear. A similar arrangement is suited for secret 
panels in a wall, only in this case the back wing is drawn 
slowly aside, a screen being placed behind the actor. 

Ghosts may appear by a similar arrangement at the 
wings, but the most effective and ghastly way is to throw 
the vision on to a dark wing by the magic lantern, the 
character being painted on a double slip slide, It is grad- 



PROPERTIES. 43 

ually unfolded to view by drawing aside the two slips, 
whereon clouds of mist are painted, the light being at the 
same time gradually increased in brilliancy. 

Gauzes are employed for the gradual discovering of a 
fairy or witch scene. These are made of white or black 
tar] etan muslin, according as light or dark mist, smoke, 
etc., has to be indicated. Two or three layers, a little 
larger than the opening of the proscenium, are arranged 
one behind the other in front of the side scenes, and these 
are furled one at a time till the actors are fully discovered. 
This produces a very weird effect. 

PROPERTIES. 

Properties, or curtly " Props," comprise stage furniture 
and domestic uteusils of all kinds, even down to buckets, 
brooms, gridirons, candlesticks, bull's-eye and other lan- 
terns, bottles, medical or spiritual, flagons, eatables, 
whether real or make-believe ; such weapons for clown 
and pantaloon as rolls of sausages, flat fish, carrots, tur- 
nips and cabbages, dead cats, brickbats, etc. Pantomimic 
masks, fairy wands, and flowery banks are at a theatre 
produced and kept by the Property Man, while swords, 
pikes, guns, pistols, armor belong to the domain of the 
Armorer. On an amateur stage no such division of labor 
can be entertained, the common -sense plan being for the 
Stage Manager to see that all properties required for each 
piece are provided; then each performer must see that 
any article he or she has to carry on the stage is to hand, 
whilst the Stage Manager must look after all properties 
that are to be on the stage, when the scene is set. To 
check omissions, the Prompter calls over the list of proper- 
ties required for each scene before the curtain is rung up. 

Furniture must be selected to suit the scene, whether 
drawing-room, dining-room, boudoir, bedroom, kitchen , 
or poverty-struck. To avoid encumbering the joint-stock 
green and property room, adjoining the stage, it would be 



44 PROPERTIES. 

well to bint that a table and two chairs, of the kitchen 
type, by judicious treatment, with table-cloths, rich in 
color, clean, white or dirty, and chair covers of various 
cuts and patterns, may be made to assume very varied 
aspects. High back chairs of antique character may be 
imitated by cutting out a back in pasteboard, painting it 
up, and covering the seat and legs with muslin, painted to 
a corresponding style and pattern. All such coverings 
occupy little space, and allow a change of aspect in the 
furniture being quickly effected. 

In a banqueting scene, a good effect may be produced 
by placing a half scene across the back of the stage, 
painted to represent an antique buffet, covered with silver 
dishes, golden flagons, tankards, etc., of bold design, to 
represent properties. 

Banners, etc., may be painted on thick paper. 
Those who carry them must be instructed to keep the 
painted side always facing the audience. 

Shields of various shapes may be cut out of paste- 
board, and armorial bearings emblazoned thereon, or be 
covered with foil, and bossed or spiked. 

Spears, etc., may be made out of broom handles, to 
which spear heads turned out of wood, or battle axes cut 
out of pasteboard, are spliced. The shafts may either be 
painted over or wound round with strips of red cloth, 
fastened down with brass-headed nails. 

Swords, Scimetars, Daggers, etc., may be 
cut out of thin wood to the required shape, then covered 
with tin foil, and finally rubbed over with black lead and 
polished. The handles may be formed by rolling paper 
round the wood and binding with thick string. If a, 
murder has to be committed, the blade of the knife or 
dagger should be kept bright, and one side blotched with 
blood-colored varnish ; the bright side must be kept next 
to the audience till the blow is struck ; when the handle 



HOW" TO MAKE UP DftESSES. 45 

must be rotated quickly in the actor's hand, so that the 
blade may be withdrawn with the bloody side outwards. 

Armor may be very fairly made up out of paste- 
board, and then either black-leaded, or covered with tin 
foil and black-leaded, or covered with silver foil, according 
as dark or bright armor is required. Brass armor may be 
imitated by sewing gilt foil, scales or bosses— obtainable of 
the stage ornament makers— on to long gray or red stock- 
ings and long armed elastic shirts, and cloth cut to shape. 

Kelinets may be made up with gore-shaped pieces of 
pasteboard (somewhat in the shape of the pieces of silk in 
an umbrella), to which a gorget is stitched with stout 
waxed thread, and a practicable visor, and a plume of 
feathers made out of tissue paper, added. Breastplates, 
thigh pieces and greaves may, with a little ingenuity, be 
worked up into form out of pasteboard; but body armor 
may be avoided by adopting an overcoat, such as the 
Knight Templars wore, emblazoned with armorial bearings. 

Fairy Wands may be formed out of cheap fishing 
rods, willow rods or rattan, bound round, spirally, with 
tape and colored tinsel. 

Wreaths of Flowers are made out of colored 
papers. 

Agricultural Implements, such as hay rakes, 
spades, forks, etc., must be imitated in pasteboard and 
wood, if the real articles are not obtainable. 

Domestic Utensils are always on hand, so no dis- 
play of ingenuity is called for with properties of this 
description. 

HOW TO MAKE UP DRESSES. 

The directions for costume should be given out by the 
Stage Manager, so that their colors may harmonize, not 
only one with another, but likewise with the scenery to be 
employed ; and all the company must attend implicitly to 



46 HOW TO MAKE UP DRESSES. 

his instructions, that the artistic elements of the entertain- 
ment may not be marred. Thus, if the scenes are laid 
chiefly among green woods, green dresses should, as much 
as possible, be avoided, for the reason that they would 
not stand out in contrast against a mass of the same color; 
so red against red, white against white, must be avoided. 
What in optics are termed complementary colors, always 
give the rule for proper artistic contrasts. There are 
three primary colors, blue, yellow and red. The comple- 
mentary color of each of these is always the result ob- 
tained by blending the two others. Thus, the comple- 
mentary color of red, is a blend of blue and yellow, or 
green ; that of blue, is the combination of red and yellow, 
or orange ; that of yellow, the mixture of blue and red, or 
purple. What is true in this respect with regard to the 
proper background for the costumes, also applies to the 
rules for proper contrasts in the making up the dresses 
themselves, and also as to the harmony of colors in an 
assemblage of costumes. Uniformity of tint produces 
optical illusion, if the eye is allowed to dwell upon it for 
any time, as may readily be proved by a very simple ex- 
periment. Place a large scarlet wafer on a piece of white 
paper, gaze on it steadfastly for a minute or so, then 
remove the eye to the paper, and a green image will be 
seen, and the edge of the paper will appear bordered with 
a green fringe of colors. As regards juxtaposition of 
tints, if two scarlet costumes were placed side by side, but 
one happened to be a greater depth of color, it would not 
only make the other appear pink, but its own color value 
would be heightened. 

The annexed is a list of well-known harmonious con- 
trasts of colors :— 

Red — Green. Red-orange — -Green-blue. 

Orange — Blue. Tellow-greeu — Violet-red. 

Yellow — Yiolet. Orange-yellow — Blue-Yiolet. 

Sulphur-yellow — Black. 



HOW TO MAKE UP DEESSES. 47 

Whatever the shade of one, the complementary color must 
be of equal intensity. Deep shades mnst not come in con- 
trast "with light shades of the same color or their comple- 
ment aries. 

As regards the material of showy costumes, much may 
he done by the revamping of old silks, satins, velvets, furs, 
coats, vests, etc. ; the employment of German velvet, 
brown holland, glazed musfin of bright color, trimmed 
with black or white cambric, imitation lace, furs, gold and 
silver fringe, different colored curtain trimmings, foils cut 
out to diamond form, or stamped out in the shape of leaves, 
bosses, crosses, jewelry, magical emblems, etc., imitation 
pearis, colored beads, and fancy trimmings of various 
kinds — all of which may be obtained at little cost. 

Silk or cotton stockings may be stained in a great 
variety of colors by the employment of proper dyes. 
Striped stockings in great variety are now purchasable at 
a cheap rate ; black, wmite and gray are to be found in 
most wardrobes, or may be bought of any hosier. Old 
slippers may be made to look mediaeval by covering them 
with black velvet slashed with crimson, blue or amber- 
colored satin, trimmed with rosettes of different colored 
ribbons. Ankle boots fitted with large buckles, cut out of 
tinsel or foil paper, may be made to look of the Georgian 
period. Walking boots fitted with bufi leather flaps and 
lace, may be converted into those of cavalier aspect ; or 
with cream-colored cardboard rims into top boots. With 
black extensions, into the jack boots of the huntsman, 
military officer, fisherman, or Californian miner's cut. 
Fishing boots can be turned to romantic service. 

Sashes and scarfs of many colors ; belts, black, brown 
and metallic, with big buckles, may be turned to effective 
account. 

Enough has now been said on making up dresses to 
suggest how, with material generally at hand, or readily 
procurable at a cheap rate, a great variety of appropriate 



48 HOW TO MAKE UP DEESSES. 

and effective costumes may be got together. All the play- 
books give directions for the costumes required, and such 
instructions must be followed as nearly as possible, in 
which the foregoing hints will prove serviceable. 

Ladies' apparel is more readily convertible into female 
theatrical costumes than men's habiliments, so that but 
little need be said regarding it, as feminine taste will readily 
suggest and contrive ways and means for meeting the 
directions given in the play-books, and young ladies know 
well how to make themselves look lovely with pearl 
powder, rose blush, penciled eyebrows, patches, and gay 
dresses, as artificial aids to heighten their natural charms. 

Wigs and Bsard.3 maybe made out of silk, worsted 
and tow. The basis of a wig may be a white 
cotton night-cap. This is sewn up to fit the 
outline of the head, the superfluous bag is 
cut away, then it is turned inside out, and 
the material selected is stitched down to it, 
or long hair may be stitched to the margin 
of a crown, hat, cap, or other head-dress, if 
such article has not to be removed at any 
time. FIG - 22. 

Beards are worked upon a wire framework of the form 
shown in Fig. 22. 

Hair beards in great variety of forms and color are 
purchasable at most hair-dressers' at a very cheap rate. 
Very outre patterns may be hired for the night from the 
theatrical wig-makers. Moustaches may be fastened to 
the upper lip with basilicon ointment, or produced in great 
variety of form by the aid of burnt cork. 

The Trick or Fright Wig is an ingenious ar- 
rangement by which the hair on the scalp is made to rise 
upright on pulling a thin cord, which hangs down and is 
operated by the performer's hand. It is mostly used by 
negro minstrel performers among their other burlesque 
extravagancies of costume. It would not ; however, be out 




ON " MAKING UP." 49 

of place on the head of the low comedian or funny man of 
a piece, where, in one of the stage " situations," he is 
laboring under the effects of a u scare." Even if this does • 
not legitimately occur in the course of the play, a very 
little ingenuity could introduce some little circumstance or 
occurrence which would "lead up" to the requisite climax 
of abject terror on the part of the funny man, provided he 
possessed a trick wig, and desired to " make a point " 
with it. 

ON "MAKING UP." 

A performer's appearance depends so greatly on the 
" making up " of the face, that a few words on the subject 
are indispensable. Wigs, beards, moustaches, etc., are 
generally easily obtainable, but in their use a great deal of 
judgment and good taste is needed. 

The materials requisite for making up the face consist of 
a box of good water-colors, a piece of India ink, some 
fine chalk, dry rouge, pearl powder, and a few camel's-hair 
pencils. Before applying any of the colors and pigments 
to the face, the skin should be first washed, to remove any 
natural greasiness, and then thoroughly dried. When the 
object in view is only to improve the complexion, the fore- 
head, neck, etc., should be judiciously whitened with pearl 
powder; the cheeks require a sufficient application (not 
too much) of rouge, laid on with a hare's foot or the fore- 
finger, and carefully blended off at the edges in as natural 
a manner as possible. It must be borne in mind that in 
the use of rouge or any other appliances, while exaggera- 
tion is allowable, this must never overstep the extreme of 
nature. Under the strong glare ' of the stage lights, the 
natural face appears pallid without some addition of 
artificial color, but amateurs should avoid the usual ten- 
dency to overdo it. The art of painting the face consists 
in concealing the paint. To impart to the face a comic 
appearance ; rouge may be applied to the end of the nose, 



50 ON " MAKING UP." 

on the forehead, and rather more strongly than usual on 
the cheek bones, in order to intensify the prominent parts 
of the face; the comic expression is made permanent by 
bringing out the comic hues of the face, which is most suc- 
cessfully accomplished by assuming the desired u broad 
grin/*' and tracing before a mirror the wrinkles produced 
with a brush dipped in a reddish-brown water-color. An 
expression of anger, a natural scowl or a simper, may be 
permanently given to the face in the same manner. In 
order to find out whether the right expression is properly 
obtained, it is a good plan to step back from the glass and 
stand under a strong light at a distance equal to that 
which the performer's position on the stage would be from 
the nearest portion of the audience. 

In making up a face to represent an old man, a bald 
wig with straggling gray hairs on each side of it should be 
drawn over the head, and entirely conceal the natural hair. 
The color of the face must be made to assimilate with the 
color of the bald part of the wig. The hues of the face 
are then deepened with a brush dipped in India ink of the 
proper depth of color, the wrinkles between and below the 
eyes and across the forehead brought out, also the crow's 
foot at the outer corners of the eyes, the lines from the 
nose to the corners of the mouth, and the furrows in the 
neck penciled out in the same manner. 

To give the face an emaciated and sickly appearance, 
the entire face must first have a coating of white to cover 
the natural color, and the pallor increased by a bluish tint 
under the eyes and under the cheek bones, to give them 
,thc necessary sunken look, and the lines from the nose to 
the corners of the mouth deepened, in order to give more 
prominence to the cheek bones. A piece of black court 
plaster laid over a front tooth makes it appear as if the 
tooth was gone, and changes greatly the expression of the 
mouth. 

The making up for Ethiopian business admits of very 



ON "MAKING UP." 51 

great variety, and requires more care than it might be sup- 
posed. It is not as easy to act " nigger " as many young 
Thespians imagine, as it needs a very close study of the 
action, voice and peculiarities of the genuine article, and a 
natural gift of mimicry to reproduce them. 

Unless an actor possesses these qualifications, he had 
better leave nigger business alone, and take up some other 
hue of acting ; but if he does possess them, he will know 
better than any one can tell him how to dress his part. 
The ordinary plantation nigger will need a regular curly 
horse-hair wig ; his face black as the ace of spades ; his 
lips painted red and greatly exaggerated in thickness, and 
his eyes opened widely, so as to show the whites. His gar- 
ments old, patched and ludicrously ill-fitting; his action 
slouching, careless and thoroughly characteristic. The 
exquisite, stylish darky should have a fine wavy, rather 
than curly, wig of real black hair, his face lighter in color, 
with the cheeks brought out with carmine, and much less 
"lip." His dress extravagantly showy, and his demeanor 
a half well-bred, half insolent swagger. 

Between these two extremes there are many gradations, 
in which must be included the good old Uncle Tom style of 
negro, with white wig, eyebrows, etc., and well-worn but 
neat clothes. 

The best preparation for coloring the face, hands, etc., is 
finely pulverized burnt cork, which can be obtained ready 
made in small packages. Before applying this, it is advisable 
to give the skin a very thin but complete coating of lard, 
which prevents the color from penetrating the pores, and 
allows of its being easily wiped off with a greasy cloth; the 
black should be laid on with a hare's foot or puff, and will 
adhere to the grease on the skin without being rubbed in. 
The rouge may be applied to the lips in the same manner. 
Some prefer laying the color mixed with water or beer on 
the dry skin. It feels more comfortable applied in that 
manner, but this is more than counterbalanced by the diffi- 



52 ox "making up." 

culty in washing it off, and the redness and heat of the skin 
afterwards. It will do very well for the hands, as they are 
more easily cleansed, and any grease on them would be apt 
to smear off. The coloring of the hands mnst he a close 
imitation of the real negro's, as it is almost impossible to 
describe the parts, especially of the inside of the hand, 
that must be lighter in color than the rest. Moons and 
Red Indians require a face color of Spanish brown, ap- 
plied in the same manner as burnt cork. 

At the first dress rehearsal the Stage Manager should 
direct and assist in making up the faces j but on all after 
occasions this should be done by each actor for himself, 
only giving the Stage Manager the trouble of putting in the 
finishing touches. 

Crowns may be shaped out of pasteboard covered with 
gilt foil, and studded with tinsel gems. Hats of various 
shapes may be made up with old felt hats or of pasteboard 
trimmed with fringe, gold, silver or cotton lace, feathers, 
etc. Feathers can be well imitated by snipping and curl- 
ing doubled pieces of tissue paper of various colors, and 
mounting the paper on copper wire. Jockeys' caps are 
made of half gores of colored silk, satin or German velvet, 
peaked with pasteboard. Burglars' caps with half gores of 
brown plash, and ear-flaps tied on the top or under the chin. 
Striped night-caps, blue and white, red and white, etc., are 
effective for Neapolitans, smugglers, etc. Scarlet night-caps 
for countrymen, brewers, Continental peasants, etc. 

Kings' and Queens' dresses may be made up with 
crowns, royal mantles out of figured crimson table-cloths, 
colored muslin under-dresses, embossed leather belts, stock- 
ings of deep color, slippers slashed with velvet and satin, 
and trimmed with rosettes, etc., of colored ribbon. 

Roman Dresses are readily made up out of sheets 
trimmed with "meandering-square" borders of various de- 
sign and colors for the toga, and the feet sandaled with 
colored worsted binding. 



OX ''MAKING UP." 53 

Monks' Habiliments are readily made of a loose 
cowled garment of washed-out purple calico, tied in at the 
waist with knotted cord, and the feet sandaled with sad- 
colored worsted binding. An ordinary dark brown domi- 
no is equally good; and, failing these, a lady's hooded 
water-proof cloak will answer the purpose. 

Clergymens' Hobes may be rapidly improvised out 
of a table-cloth and a pair of black pantaloons, arranged 
with the legs hanging down on each side of the wearer's 
neck; the body of the unmentionables may be pinned up to 
look like a hood ; a white clerical tie completes the attire. 

Demons can be effectively made up according to ap- 
propriate color. If red-hot fiends are required, crimson 
worsted tights made like a long- armed undershirt and a 
pair of long stockings should be provided, the ends of which 
can be tucked in and covered by a pair of old pantaloons 
cut short. From the waist to the knee the body is covered 
with a black velvet fluted skirt, bordered with two rows of 
crimson worsted binding, the rest of the velvet being stud- 
ded with small pieces of green foil, cut in the snape of 
beetles' wings, connected with a pearl bead head, from 
which two red antennae are struck out ; an embossed gilt- 
leather belt encloses the waist. The head is covered 
with a plum-colored velvet helmet-shaped cap, with flat 
horn peaks projecting from each temple ; this skull cap is 
edged with pearl bead trimmings, and a snake mawe of silver 
tissue and green tinsel entwined is coiled up on the top of 
the head with the tail hanging down the back ; a long wig 
of black and green worsted is stitched round the inside of 
the cap ; black velvet bracelets, studded with green tinsel, 
completes the costume. This is a most effective dress for a 
superior demon. Common cindery imps may be dressed in 
black tights with red or green tinsel horns, and very shoH 
and tight red or green satin breeches. Comic demons may 
be fitted with elastic tails made of spiral wire loosely cov- 



54 OX " MAKING UP." 

ered with bluish-gray crape ; such may be pulled out to a 
great length, and when freed they return to their original 
dimensions; they also may be made to assume very varied 
grotesque convolutions. Nondescript demons may be 
made up in black muslin puffy dresses of vague form, 
trimmed with green tinsel, long-rayed stars, sombre green 
stockings and green foil lantern-shaped helmets or head- 
pieces. 

Fairies only want a judicious display of white, pink 
and blue muslin, pink silk stockings, plenty of bright span- 
gles about the head, painted gauze wings and wands of 
many colors. The younger members of the friendly circle 
must be enlisted for fairy characters. 

Witch.es are made up with a pasteboard conical hat, 
with a frilled cap under and well round the face ; scarlet 
baize hooded cloak, trimmed with black or green tinsel 
mystic symbols ; blue and white checked petticoat, black 
or gray stockings and buckled shoes. 

Brigands. — Conical pasteboard hat, trimmed with red 
worsted binding ; black beard and moustache, white shirt, 
large turn down collar, gaily colored neckerchief, tied 
with a slip knot; arms tied in above and below elbow 
with red ribbons ; old black pantaloons cut off at knee, 
trimmed up each side with red worsted binding, and 
studded with sleigh bells ; many-colored sash, tied round 
waist, with ends hanging down; poniard and pistol 
stuck in sash; white stockings, criss-crossed with red 
worsted binding up to knees, and tied with rosette and 
streamers ; carbine. To give variety an old black jacket, 
or one made up of green velvet, trimmed with gilt ball 
buttons, ribbons, etc., maybe worn, hussar fashion, on the 
left shoulder. 

Conspirators' Costumes must, of course, corre- 
spond to period of play; but the conventional melodramatic 
type is made up with black felt slouched hats, long black 



OX " MAKING UP." 55 

hair hanging down back, Charles I. style of monstache and 
imperial, black eyebrows, deep lace collar, black jacket 
and knickerbockers; bull" leather belt with huge brass 
buckle, pistols, dagger stuck therein and rapier may be 
added ; gray stockings, ankle boots with buckles, or long 
black or buff boots; long, full scarlet cloak, fox effect. 
This does for any mysterious being of the melodramatic 
cut ; but if much given to lurking in shady comers, the 
cloak should be black, trimmed with large black bugles, 
to form glittering masses for effect ; a black, grayish-green 
or scarlet feather may be placed in the hat for variety. 

Smugglers are made up with blue and white striped 
cotton night-cap, long black (worsted) hair sewn inside 
edge, full black bushy beard, blue and white cotton shirt, 
black neckerchief sailor-knotted, brown holland skirt, with 
two rows of black, blue, or red worsted binding round bot- 
tom, black leather belt, big buckle, pistols stuck therein, 
and sea boots, made of black muslin, pasted on stout brown 
paper, or of black wax-cloth. 

Neapolitan Fishermen are made up much in the 
same way, but the caps may be red and white; a gay 
colored scarf replaces the belt, a dirk, the pistols, and 
Okie and white striped stockings with buff slippers will 
effect the difference. 

Eighteenth Century Costumes may be made 
up out oi old shooting jackets, trimmed with gold and 
silver lace, or of maroon, chocolate, red, pink, yellow and 
blue paper-muslin, to imitate satin coats, cut to fashion 
of period, trimmed with lace, imitation bright cut steel 
buttons, etc. ; long vests of chintz ; black, gray, or pink 
stockings, with buckled shoes or jack-boots ; wide-brimmed 
felt hats turned into three-cornered hats, trimmed with 
feather, gold, silver, or cotton lace ; worsted or tow wigs, 
or the hair brushed back with a tie or pigtail, and pow- 
dered ; dress swords, or rapiers. 



56 ON "MATTING trp. w 

Poles. — Square pasteboard caps, and "black coats trim- 
Died with fur, breast corded and frogged, scarlet necker- 
chief, high boots furred round the top. 

Burglars and Roughs of the present period may 
be readily made up with a common cap, hair brushed 
short, black or carrotty whiskers, beard and moustache of. 
the bushy cut; old brown or gray shooting jacket, well 
patched and dirtied ; red, blue, or yellow cotton necker- 
chief, black breeches, gray stockings and brown leather 
gaiters, face dirty red, corked eyebrows, eye-sockets 
deepened with antimony, surgical strappings on nose or 
forehead, and black patch over one eye as accessories ; a 
life preserver sticking out of pocket, or a stout knobby 
stick under arm is suggestive. If a bull or other degraded 
looking dog can be made to follow ^to heel/ 7 it will be all 
the more effective and characteristic. Bear in mind dogs 
are capable of being "made up 77 to look "to character, 77 
and dirt will go a long way in effecting this. 

Scamps are readily made up with a dilapidated stove- 
pipe hat, with a red cotton spotted pocket-handkerchief 
showing under, lank hair, chin blued to give an unshaven 
aspect, and a haggard "■ make up 77 of face, collarless neck, 
seedy old out-at-elbows swallow-tailed coat, that has 
scraped acquaintance with the pavement, buttoned up to 
suggest a shirtless body; dirty, baggy, patched trousers of 
a fast check pattern ; cracked and muddy boots. 

Jockeys' dresses can be made up with half gores of 
German velvet to form the cap, in alternate colors, such 
as black and white, red and white, blue and white, etc., 
with black card-board peaks; white shirt sleeves, with a 
loose brightly-colored silk body to form the jacket ; belt ; 
eream-colored drawers made into knee breeches ; boots, 
with card-board tops stitched on ; spars and whip. 

Joim Bull, assumed by a stout person, requires a 
fluffy white hat, fiery face, short hair ; mutton-chop whis- 






ON " MAKING UP." 57 

kers only ; blue scarf with white spots, large carbuncle pin 
therein ; dark blue coat (if necessary made out of paper- 
muslin unglazed side out), brass buttons ; buff vest ; huge 
watch chain and bunch of seals ; cream-colored drawers 
made into breeches ; top-boots ; big stick. 

Yankee. — The traditional Yankee, with very short 
striped pantaloons, and long straps, and whose leading ec- 
centricity consisted in "whittling," has almost passed from 
the stage. The modern improvement is usually dressed in 
plain gray home-spun garments, cut country style. The 
head is made up with a straight flaxen wig, sallow complex- 
ion, the tip of the nose reddened, and a general rugged ap- 
pearance given to the face by slightly increasing the natural 
hues and wrinkles. The Yankee characteristics are brought 
out much less by eccentricity of costume than by the voice, 
action, and general demeanor. 

Dundreary Swells. — Full evening dress, or a morn- 
ing costume, with gaiters, huge shirt curls, and the charac- 
teristic billy-goat whiskers and beard. 

Highlanders. — Glengarry cap, eagle's feather or 
heather sprig therein, fastened on by silver buckle \ car- 
rotty worsted locks ; white shirt and red neckerchief; plaid 
shawl to form the kilt ; plaid scarf over shoulder ; tartan 
hose over pink stockings ; sporran, philibeg, dirk, claymore, 
and Scotch jewelry as accessories, when requisite. 

Paddy.— Dilapidated white hat with black band, and 
a short pipe stuck therein; short sandy tow wig; blue 
and white neckerchief, with slip knot, round neck ; darkish 
green swallow -tailed coat (made of green paper muslin, un- 
glazed side out, if necessary), brass buttons ; scarlet vest ; 
yellow breeches tied at knees with red ribbons ; gray ribbed 
stockings ; shoes and buckles ; shillalah under arm. 

Country Bumpkin.— Dwarf round felt hat, sandy 
worsted locks sewn under edge; smock frock; crimson 
neckerchief; long leather gaiters. 



58 ON " MAKING UP." 

Red. Indians are readily made up with a night-cap, 
bordered with scarlet cloth, worked out white and blue 
bugles, covered over with pea-hen feathers, arranged in 
two full rows, one on each side of the head, pointing back- 
wards from the forehead and hanging downwards at the 
back of the head, black (thread) lanky hair showing under ; 
red face, tattooed with indigo and bright vermilion ; bright 
Eed Indian pattern shawl, worn as a cape ; dark brown 
holland skirt to knees, trimmed with red and worked with 
black and white bugles ; long leather gaiters, worked with 
colored beads and bugles, and tufts of many-colored 
worsted up outside legs ; spear, bow, tomahawk, scalp, 
for accessories, as required. {See page 52.) 

Triggers. — Woolly wig, maae out of old horsehair chair 
stuffing, sewn to a skull cap ; face, neck and hands corked j 
white shirt ; large turned down collar, trimmed with blue 
binding ; pink and white broad striped calico breeches to a 
little below knee: broad belt with large buckle; black 
stockings. ( See page 51 . ) 

Planter. — Very broad brimmed straw hat, lanky 
(black thread) hair sewn under, untrimmed beard and 
moustache, white cotton jacket, striped blue and white 
shirt, black belt and buckle, nankeen colored pants, slip- 
pers j stick to whittle, or slave whip, as accessories. 

Trappers, Gold Miners, etc — Broad-brimmed 
\vhite felt hat, lanky black (thread) hair, shaggy beard and 
moustache, or bushy black beard for variety ; red shirt, 
colored neckerchief, old gray or other colored walking 
trousers, cut to knees ; black belt and buckle, bowie knife 
and revolver therein j high black boots. 

Jack Tars are easily made up, with round straw hats 
with name of ship on dark blue ribbon j hair brushed back 
and terminating in a sturdy (worsted) pigtail; black 
bushy beard, over a jolly red face and pimpled nose ; white 
shirt, with broad turn down collar and cuffs, trimmed with 



GENERAL DrEECTIOXS OX ACTING. 59 

light blue braid; black neckerchief with sailor's knot; 
white duck or deep indigo-blue trousers, full at the bot- 
tom; broad black belt and big brass buckle, pumps and 
buckles ; pistols, cutlass and boatswain's whistle, as acces- 
sories, when required. 

Mrs. Ganip and "sitch like" characters, are takingly 
made up with large coal-scuttle bonnet, gaily trimmed 
with ribbons, and preposterous flowers of the peony or 
hollyhock style, frilled cap showing under; flaring red 
shawl, black skirt, gouty boots ; big-bellied umbrella ; an 
inexhaustible basket, containing gin bottle, rubber over- 
shoes, snuff, peppermint-stick, pocket-handkerchief, brush 
and comb, sausages, etc., mixed " permiscous. 7, 

GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 

We do not for a moment pretend to be able to make our 
readers perfect actors, much less profess to offer au exhaus- 
tive article on the art of acting; for in the first place, suc- 
cess must depend upon the possession of a certain amount 
of natural aptitude for the imitation of character and the 
expression of the passions; and in the second place, it 
would be impossible to condense into one short chapter all 
that has been or could be written on elocution and appro- 
priate action, so we will only attempt to point out what 
is most important to be borne in mind by amateur actors 
and actresses. 

Don't be nervous ! When you have once made up your 
mind to join the ranks of an amateur company, enter heart 
and soul into the spirit of the enterprise, and never let the 
feeling come upon you that you are making a fool of your- 
self; for recollect if you do, any acting manager who 
knows his duty will let you know it; and if a bit of 
" gentle fooling" is worth doing, " go the whole hog" and 
do it heartily. 

Avoid nervousness when rehearsing with your compan- 



60 GENEEAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 

ions, and especially when before an audience. When you 
go upon the stage, do not let your heart come into your 
mouth, as the saying is, or mentally ask yourself, " Am I 
going to make a slip of any of my part V but enter boldly 
and say what you have to say self-collectedly. If you look 
into the auditorium, never attempt to recognize the faces 
of friends or foes, for an impish boy putting on a grimace, 
indicative of " what a mess you are making of it, 77 may 
upset you, or the bland smile and nod of recognition of 
some acquaintance may put you out, and the perception of 
some lady friend's roguish giggle may shut you up entirely. 
If you have to laugh, laugh out heartily and naturally, and 
never let it degenerate, through nervousness, into an 
abortive "Ha, ha," coming from the bottom of the throat 
instead of the top of it. Bear in mind, putting all ner- 
vousness aside, that laughing, like singing, requires honest 
practice. On the othee hand, nevee attempt to 

SUEJf OTTNT ~ NEEVOTTSNESS BY TOO EEEE A DISPLAY OE 

nonchalance, as it too often degenerates into mere vulgar 
impudence. 

Learn your part thoroughly! This is not only a duty to 
yourself, but to those with whom you act ; for should you 
forget a portion of the text, omit a cue, or come to a dead 
stand, you will cause others, who have learnt their parts 
well and conscientiously, to come to grief as well as your- 
self. Again, one who is known to boast that he knows his 
part well, and, fairing at rehearsal, amends his assertion by 
saying he will be " all right when the night comes," leaves 
his fellow actors in a state of suspense very detrimental to 
inducing that calmness of mind which is so conducive to 
Thespian success. Such selfish indolence ought to be stig- 
matized as it deserves whenever it comes under the obser- 
vation of an Acting Manager. Whenever there are con- 
versational bits, especially when the sentences are short, 
or but a mere interchange of a word or two right through 
a long dialogue, it is safe to learn your co-actor's pail as 



GENERAL DIRECTIONS OX ACTING. 61 

well as your own, instead of the cues only, if you would 
ensure perfect success. 

First learn your own part till you have got it by heart 
perfectly, and are sure of the correct pronunciation of 
any out-of-the-way words, and get some one to test you 
without the book. Next try your part in conjunction with 
those you are immediately associated with in the piece, so 
as to be well prepared for the first renearsal. At rehearsal 
the Acting Manager will point out any defects or miscon- 
ceptions, and how you may improve your part generally. 
With improved conception, now study your part for appro- 
priate action, by-play, and any other kind of stage business 
the character and the situation demand. As at the first 
rehearsal the Acting Manager tests his company for their 
perfectness in the words of the play, correct reading, and 
conception of the parts, at the second rehearsal he will 
not only test them over the same ground, but also as to 
appropriate action and stage business, so that at the 
third rehearsal all ought to have a pretty correct notion of 
how to act their several parts, as well as being pat with 
the words, and be ready for a call for a dress rehearsal 
antecedent to the night of the performance. 

Speak out distinctly and as slowly as the part admits of. 
It is a very common thing to find a beginner try to get 
through his part as fast as a school -boy rattles orThis lesson 
in geography, and with the same amount of emphasis ; or 
to speak in a whisper, so that no one can guess at a word he 
says. This can only be got over by training and practice, 
through the constant watchfulness of the Acting Manager, 
keeping a constant check upon all such railway excursions 
of speech. Even in patter songs and parts every word 
must be distinctly enunciated, as any one well knows who 
has once heard that great master in patter parts — 
Charles Mathews. 

Emphasize your sentences! so as to give force to the 
part, and facilitate a just comprehension of the author's 



62 GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 

text; but never let emphasis degenerate into rant or 
drivel. Emphasis involves the correct expression of the 
tragic, amatory and comic passions, ail the gradations of 
feeling and temperament, and makes the greatest call on 
the intellectual powers or genius of the actor. A chapter 
might he written upon this one head alone and yet fail to 
knock the perfect perception of feeling into a reader, for 
an actor, like a poet, "must be born, not made." It is, 
therefore, better to carefully note the rendering of our best 
actors and actresses, though even they are often too con- 
ventional and " stagey" to be strictly natural in their 
delivery. 

Mind your cues ! As your fellow actor in a scene his 
tale unfolds, keep your eyes and ears open for your own 
ewe— that is, the last word or two of the dialogue he has 
to speak before it is your turn to give forth, or it may be 
some act or action that gives you the signal to take up the 
acting. Where the paragraphs are long or of moderate 
length, it is easy to recollect your cues ; but where they 
are short, it is safer to learn your fellow actor's part as 
well as your own, that all may come pat, and the dialogue 
move smoothly. 

Suit the action to the ivord and the word to the action, 
neither too soon before, nor too late after, the word to be 
illustrated with appropriate action. Action must be 
natural, not exaggerated, or it degenerates into burlesque, 
rant or drivel. 

Facial expression forms a large part of the actor's stock 
in trade, as it adds immensely to a correct expression of 
toe passions depicted, whether they be those of love or 
hatred, power or despair, rage or calmness, admiration or 
contempt, pleasure or pain, malignity or tenderness, 
sarcasm or genial wit, etc.; and although lew persons use 
exactly the same method of portraying their emotions and 
passions, there are certain conventional rules adopted in 
general for giving them expression on the stage. 



GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 63 

Anger is depicted by drawing the lips open so as to show 
the teeth firmly set ; shaking the head in a menacing man- 
ner, the eyes open widely, the eyebrows contracted, and 
the hands clenched. 

Fear is shown by a sudden shrinking backwards, as if 
preparing fur flight; the eyes and mouth widely opened, 
and the hands raised and trembling, as if to repel the 
object feared. 

Grief requires a solemn, impassive countenance; the 
eyelids lowered ; the head dejected; the hands nervously 
clenched, and pregnant sighs. 

Hatred is depicted by drawing back the foot nearest to 
the audience ; the head averted in the same direction ; the 
hands stretched out as if to repel the object hated, and 
the countenance expressing anger. 

Jealousy watches stealthily every movement of its object, 
with flashes of anger, grief and scorn, with an occasional 
gleam ot pleasure. 

Joy shows itself by a smiling, radiant face, dancing and 
clapping of hands. 

Scorn is expressed by turning with aversion from its ob- 
ject, the eyebrows elevated, the head drawn up, the cor- 
ners of the mouth drawn down, and the mouth set as if to 
say the word " pooh," accompanied by a wave of the hand, 
palm outwards. 

Wonder or astonishment is shown by resting the hands 
on the bended knees; the head forward; the eyes and 
mouth open; followed by a gradual straightening of the body 
and elevation ot the hands and arms, with the mouth set 
as if to say "Oh!" 

Trying to recollect something is done by bending the 
head down, with the eyebrows thoughtfully knit ; tapping 
the forehead with the forefinger. 

Recollection, following the foregoing effort, is expressed 
by raising the same forefinger upward, with a sudden gleam 
of intelligence and satisfaction on the countenance. 



64 GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 

Attitude.— Your "pose" should be calm and dignified, 
except when the character demands different treatment. 
This, however, must never be exaggerated, except in the 
case of burlesque. On the other hand, although restlessness 
should be avoided, never stand stock still, or bolt upright 
like a tailor's dummy, unless in acting, as a supernumerary, 
the part of a soldier on guard. When a fellow actor is re- 
citing an adventure or legend, let your attitude, whether 
sitting, leaning or standing, indicate rapt attention and 
interest in what he is saying. This leads to the following 
important remark, viz., facial expression, appropriate ac- 
tion and attitude must not be studied to give effect to 
your own part only, but also to aid your fellow actors by 
adding co-operative expression to their parts, and give 
unity of conception to the scene represented. In some 
cases restlessness of attitude becomes necessary to the sit- 
uation, either in illustration of your own part or that of 
others, even to the extent of pacing the stage to and fro in 
an excited state of comic rage, etc., especially when you 
have to declare you are perfectly calm — not in the least de- 
gree excited, an assertion your entire action must ludi- 
crously contradict. If you have to rise from your chair and 
look off in nervous fear at something approaching, whether 
that something be ghost, burglar or assassin, rise and 
walk a step or two forward; but never hang hesitating 
over the cushion, and then when you have to dissemble 
plump back upon that domestic article for human support ; 
for such apparent loss of control over your centre of gravity 
may disturb the gravity of the audience, and evoke a gen- 
eral titter at what should be a very solemn moment. 

What ought I to do with my Hands and Arms f This is 
a question often asked by novices in the Thespian art. 
Well, though it has been said, as a rule, stand still, never 
let your upper limbs hang monotonously by your sides, like 
a toy grenadier. Quietly raise one hand to the waistband, 
sash ; or vest pocket, and let it rest there awhile ; fold the 



GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 65 

arms across the chest, or place them behind the back, shrug 
the shoulders, or make other gestures with one or both arms, 
appropriate to what the others are saying ; anything, in 
fact, to avoid a monotonous pose, as long as it is not 
absurdly out of character with the scene or character 
represented. 

Never turn your Back to tlie Audience, unless it is abso- 
lutely necessary for you to do so, much less speak in such 
a position. 

Take Time yourself and give others Time for every Sen- 
tence to be distinctly delivered, so that the audience may 
have every chance of clearly comprehending all that is 
being said. It is a very common shortcoming of amateurs 
to speak too close upon the utterances of their fellow- 
actors, not unfrequentiy giving the answer to a question 
that has not been completely put, and so confusing actors 
and spectators alike. 

Business is a stage technicality for pantomimic action, 
employed in a variety of ways to suggest motive, or some 
event taking place oft" the stage, that either is not or could 
not be enacted thereon — such as the course of a boat or 
horse race — in which the characters' interests are involved. 
The turns of a battle or a naval engagement, or the pro- 
gress of a conflagration, the representation of cooking and 
eating a steak, or pointing out the victim for an assassina- 
tion while conspirators are slowly creeping across the back 
of the stage, may be cited as examples of u business." 
Farces very often abound with directions for business, and 
the success ot the piece depends upon the aptitude of the 
performers in giving humorous finishing touches to the 
author's text. 

Attend to Stage Entrances and Exits, as given in the 
stage directions for each play. In Fig. 23 is given a diagram 
to facilitate the proper comprehension of the terms em- 
ployed, and indicated by the well-known conventional 
symbols. 



66 GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 

It will be seen from this disposition of entrances, doors ; 
etc., that the actor is supposed to face the audience, and 
not to look up the stage. 



D. R. C. D. C. D 

B. IT. E. Scene. 


. L. c. 
L.C 


L. U. E. 


i|j B . 3 E. 


L. 3E. jg" 


b.2e. 9 <f STAGE. 


% *a*" 


B. 1 E. $P 


"I L. 1 E. 


"] B. B. C. C. 


*■ 1 






| ooooooooo 


o o 


o o o o | 


Footlights or Floats. 





AUDIENCE, 

D. C. indicates Centre Door. 

D. B. C. " Door Bight of Centre. 

D. L. C. " Door Left of Centre. 

E. 1 E. indicates Eight First Entrance. ] L. 1 E. indicates Left First Entrance. 
E. 2 E. " Eight Second Entrance. L. 2 E. " Left Second Entrance. 

E. 3 E. " Eight Third Entrance. L. 3 E. " Left Third Entrance. 

B. U. E. " Eight Upper Entrance. ) L. U. E. " Left Upper Entrance. 

C. indicates Centre. 

E. " Eight. 

L. " Left. 

E. C. " Eight of Centre. 

L. C. " Left of Centre. 

Never keep the Stage waiting. Be punctual to all ap- 
pointments, whether made for the purpose of rehearsal or 
actual performance, for it is a breach of good manners to 
waste your fellow actors' time or to keep an audience wait- 
ing. Dress quickly, and do not give the Acting Manager 
and Prompter the trouble of sending for you several times ; 
■ when you are wanted on the stage be ready to go on. 
Never be guilty of the unmannerliness of accepting a part, 
rehearsing for it, and then at the last moment, on the 
night of performance, through failing courage, send an 
apology of being " too unwell to come," unless you are in 
the position to back such an excuse with a medical certin- 



GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 67 

cate. Such breach of good faith might cause the entire 
breakdown of an entertainment got up with care and ex- 
pense, and, of course, be the cause of bitter disappoint- 
ment, not only to your fellow actors, but to the host and 
hostess, and those friends they have invited to honor you 
with their presence. Never accept a part unless you can 
depend upon your moral courage to carry you through the 
ordeal. 

Never lose your Temper. If, after you have got up your 
part to your own satisfaction, you find that your interpreta- 
tion does not come up to the Acting Manager's ideas of ex- 
cellence, accept his hints for improvement with a good 
grace ; and if he has patience to drill you till you do get 
through the part right, show your appreciation of his de- 
termination to do his duty to your Company by a good- 
tempered bearing, even under hard grinding. 

Work honestly at your Part in all its bearings. Whether 
you are cast for a leading or minor part, honestly determine 
to work at it till you are perfect, both as to words and 
action, for, bear in mind, the breaking down of a small 
pin may disorganize otherwise perfect machinery. 

Finally, we commend to your serious attention Shak- 
speare's advice to actors, as given through Hamlet in his 
scene with the Players, viz.'. 

Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trip- 
pingly on the tongue; but if you mouth it, as many of your play- 
ers do, I had as lief the town-crier spoke my lines. For do not 
saw the air too much with your hand, thus; but use all gently; 
for in the very torrent, tempest, and (as I may say) whirlwind of 
bassion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that may give 
it smoothness. Oh, it offends me to the soul to hear a rumbustious, 
periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to very rags, to 
split the ears of the groundlings; who, for the most part, are 
capable of nothing but inexplicable dumb-show and noise; I 
would have such a fellow whipped for o'er-domg Termagant; it 
out-Herods Herod ; pray you avoid it. ... • 



68 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 

Be not too tamo neither, but let your own discretion be your 
tutor; suit the action to the "word, the "word to the action, with 
this special observance, that you o'erstep not the modesty of 
Nature; for anything so overdone is from the purpose of playing, 
whose end, both at the first and now, was, and is, to hold as 
'twere the mirror up to X/ature ; to show virtue her own feature, 
scorn her own image, and the very age and body of the time 
his form and pressure. Now this overdone, or come tardy off, 
though it make the unskillful laugh, cannot but make the judicious 
grieve; the censure of which one must, in your allowance, 
o'erweigh a whole theatre of others. Oh, there be players, that I 
have seen play, and heard others praise, and that highly— not to 
speak it profanely — that, neither having the accent of Christians 
nor the gait of Christians, pagan nor man, have so strutted and 
bellowed, that I have thought that some of Nature's journeymen 
had made men, and not made them well, they imitated humanity 

so abominably 

And let those that play your clowns speak no more than is set 
down for them ; for there be of them that will themselves laugh, 
to set on some quantity of barren spectators to laugh too ; though 
in the meantime some necessary question of the play be then to 
be considered ; that's villainous, and shows most pitiful ambition 
in the fool that uses it. — " Hamlet," Act III, Scene 2. 

PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 

Gradually, as the night approaches, the preparations 
thicken. The primary selection of the parts in a piece 
having been made, a list of the characters and their pro- 
posed representatives must be submitted to the Acting 
Manager. Should he think a partial or entire re-distribu- 
tion of the cast advisable, his advice must be willingly re- 
sponded to, for doubtless his only desire would be to make 
a judicious display of the respective talents of the members 
of his Company according to the best of his judgment, 
founded on his experience of their several capabilities and 
personal fituess for auy given character. 

The Manager being informed that all have learnt their 



PEEPARING FOB THE PEEFOEMAXCE. 69 

allotted parts, he makes "a call, 71 by postal-card or letter, 
thus— i 





A. T. C. 




CALL. 




(Amateub Thespian Club.) 




On Monday, 


October 2d, 1876. 

A FAMILY FIX. 




8. P. M. 






0. 


3TAGEB, A. M. 



Which is sent to every acting member of his Company. 
This summons each one must attend punctually, for it 
would be a breach of good manners to waste your fellow 
actors' time by keeping them waiting your pleasure or 
convenience, even though you might mistakenly fancy it 
was atoned for by any fine levied on you for such breach 
of discipline. 

The Manager, playing the part of Prompter also, watches 
his Company at their first rehearsal, and observes the in- 
terpretation of character each actor makes of his part, 
together with his style of delivery and perfect grasp of the 
words. Then he rebukes for any imperfection as to mas- 
tery of words, illustrates how the sentences should be de- 
livered with the proper modulations of the voice, and cor- 
rects any misconceptions of reading or of character. This 
being gone through, important bits are tried again and 
again, till he feels that all are on the right road to a proper 
interpretation of their several parts ; then, arranging for 
the next rehearsal, he dismisses his Company. Taking it 
for granted that all study and grind away at their parts, 
and that those that have to work into each other's hands 
make a point of practicing together, the Manager meets 
his Company at the second rehearsal thoroughly convinced 



70 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 

that, out of mere respect for the time he gives, there will 
be no shortcomings as to the mastery of the words ; ho 
therefore is prepared to drill his pupils in the required 
action and business — what to do with their arms and legs; 
where to enter ; how to meet, turn from, or avoid each 
other; how to fight, fall, rise, walk, pose, etc.; always 
trying over and over again, if necessary, bits that are not 
carried out to his satisfaction. Another step onwards 
having been made, the Manager arranges for a third re- 
hearsal, when he expects to find every one fairly perfect, both 
as to words, action and business, and unless there be dire 
necessity for further drilling, he calls a dress rehearsal. 

At this, actors, their dresses, make up, properties, the 
scenery, fighting, effects, incidental music, etc., pass 
under his most critical review, and all matters for altera- 
tion are noted, and forced upon the attention of those con- 
cerned. In some cases he may see necessity for calling 
another dress rehearsal, especially if the actors do not seem 
at home in their dresses and make up. 

It can be well understood that all this drilling of tyros is 
very trying and laborious work, therefore every one is 
bound to co-operate in assisting the Manager to carry out 
his views, and maintain strict discipline. All his sugges- 
tions and corrections must be received good-humoredly, 
even if he finds it necessary to speak a little sharply at 
times. On the other hand the Manager, though forced to 
enter upon his reign of supreme power with firmness, 
should enforce his bidding in that genial spirit which 
begets willing slaves. 

Perhaps one of the most difficult matters a Manager has 
to encounter when dealing with an amateur Company, is to 
provide against a stereotyped pose when a number have to 
express some emotion common to all upon the stage, such 
as fear, grief, joy, surprise, etc. Whatever be the amount 
of drilling it entails, he must see that no two persons strike 



PREPARING TOR THE PERFORMANCE. 71 

the same pose, unless it be with the object of producing a 
burlesque efiect. 

The management and disposition of the stage, scenery 
and properties should be made between the Acting and 
Stage Managers conjointly. The Acting Manager, as 
Prompter, telling on all properties required for each scene 
from his prompt list, before he rings the curtain up. As 
a rule, it is better to allow the curtain to fall between each 
scene when a performance is given in a private house, 
where both space and assistants are limited. It is better 
for the Acting and Stage Managers to meet an hour or so 
before the time specified for a dress rehearsal, to try the 
arrangement of scenes, lighting, effects, etc., and see that 
all works out as planned, while the stage is clear, and to 
avoid wasting the actors' time when they assemble. It is 
also advisable to have a separate trial of any incidental 
orchestral assistance required before a dress rehearsal 
commences, that all may run smoothly when a beginning 
is once made. 

Before the dress rehearsal, the Prompter must prepare his 
plots or prompt lists, which for amateur requirements must be 
modified from those employed at a theatre. These embrace 
the scene, property, entrance, effect, and business plots. 

The Scene Plot at a theatre defines what scenes are 
to be employed in each act ; what wings, borders, ground 
and cut pieces are to accompany them, and at what en- 
trances they are to be placed. 

The Property Plot embraces all articles to be 
placed on the stage, such as tables, chairs, etc., and those 
to be carried on by the actors, such as brooms, pails, let- 
ters, arms, banners, etc., during each scene. 

The Entrance Plot includes the names of all the 
characters, in the order in which they are to come on, and 
the entrance they must appear at, indicated by the letters 
employed at page 6Q ; such as r., l. c, etc. Further, the 



72 PREPARING FOE THE PERFORMANCE. 

prompt book is marked a length, that is, forty -two lines, 
before an entrance, with a figure made in red ink and en- 
closed in a circle, to indicate the character or characters 
next to come on, and this number is handed to the cad hot/, 
who quickly proceeds to the dressing-rooms of the actors 
thus specified, calls them by name, and hands to them any 
properties they have to take upon the stage. 

The following Entrance Plot of "A Family Fix " will 
serve as an illustration, as the play is marked to correspond 
with it: 



{Henry, to begin. 
Eliza, ready, a plate of eatables in each hand. 
Alfred, ready. 



Mr. Jones, hat and cane. 
Mrs. JoNES,walking costume. 



© 
© 

(3 J Emma. 

For amateur purposes it is better to see that all who have 
to act in any given scene are ready to come on at the proper 
moment or cue, and are furnished with the properties 
they have to carry on the stage. 

Effects and business plots are marked upon the 
prompt fist ; so that we will say a calcium-light is found to 
be in position ready to throw a beam of colored rays upon 
the stage, or a bell may be tolled, or a clock strike, at the 
proper point. 

A Music Plot is also necessary when there happens 
to be incidental music in a piece, as in the Ghost Sym- 
phony in the Corsican BrotJiers. 

A prompt-book should be arranged, in which scene, prop- 
erty, entrance, etc., plots should be marked to corre- 
spond with the call slips. These are slips of paper on which 
each plot is written, and suspended on a hook near the 



PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 73 

prompt corner, ready for the Manager to hand to the call 
boy when the proper time arrives. 

To prepare such a prompt hook two copies of the 
printed play book should be procured, the right-hand 
pages of one copy and the left-hand pages of the other 
being employed for the production of one complete copy of 
the play, in such a form as will admit of its being cut up 
and pasted down, between the written interlineated direc- 
tions, "plots/' etc. The prompt side, or p. s., is usually 
on the left-hand side of the proscenium as the actor 
looks towards the auditorium, unless the green-room hap- 
pens to be on the right-hand side. 

The prompter should give the signal to the Orchestra for 
commencing the overture, and also for starting incidental 
music during the progress of the piece. Amateur Mana- 
gers will find it greatly to their advantage to furnish the 
leader of the Orchestra with a copy of the play, on the 
margin of which the incidental music has been marked 
wherever it is required, and the cues underscored to give 
the right moment for the orchestra to start. 

At a theatre, all the "plots," with the commencement 
of a new act, begin afresh with number one, and then run 
on in consecutive order to the end of each act ; but for 
small pieces, an amateur Manager will find it plainer to 
number his plots right through the piece, to avoid a repe- 
tition of numbers, which might tend to confuse. 

In the dressing-room, order should be maintained. 
Tables or planks should be ranged round two sides of the 
room, on which each actor's costume, together with the 
properties he has to take on the stage, should be arranged 
in methodical order — each actor having a space for himself 
— their ordinary articles of dress being neatly folded up 
and placed beneath the space devoted to the costume, 
etc., when they undress. If possible, a common looking- 
glass should be hung on the wall over each space, and the 
actor's name should be written boldly on paper and placed 



74 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 

over it. ' l A place for everything, and everything in its place," 
should be the first rule in the dressing-room ; and an order 
should be affixed to the door that no one must touch or 
* in any way disturb a fellow actor's apparel. One or more 
dressing-tables, with swing looking-glasses, lighted by 
swing gas burners or movable lamps, a cheval glass, if 
possible, and one or more washstands, must be arranged 
at the ends of the rooms. Of course those who have to 
come on first, dress or finish dressing in the first batch for 
each act ; but first ready, first served, should be the rule 
for precedence at tables and washstands, unless otherwise 
ruled by the Manager. Each actor should prepare him- 
self, as far as possible, towards his make up at his own 
station, then finish off at a dressing-table, when the Acting 
and Stage Managers should give the finishing touches, 
before each scene. 

It is judicious to commence a performance with a pro- 
logue, apologetic for any shortcomings that might arise in 
an Amateur Company, as it takes the sting out of those 
persons who pride themselves on being dramatic critics. 
Here is a very good one, written by Lord Byron : 

A PROLOGUE. 

To-night no veteran Roscii ye behold, \ 

In all the arts of scenic action old ; 

2\To Cooke, no Kernble can salute you here, 

~8o Siddons draw the sympathetic tear ; 

To-night ye throng to witness the dehut 

Of embryo actors, to the Drama new : 

Ere, then, our almost unfledged wings we try, 

Clip not our pinions ere the bird can fly ; 

Failing in this our first attempt to soar, 

Drooping, alas ! we fall to rise no more. 

K"ot one poor trembler only fear betrays, 

"Who hopes, yet almost dreads, to meet your praise, 

But all our dramatis persona} wait 

In fond suspense the crisis of their fate. 



PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 75 

No penal views our progress can retard; 
Tour generous plaudits are our sole reward ; 
For these each hero all his power displays, 
Each timid heroine shrinks before your gaze. 

The following will also be found generally appropriate : 
AN OCCASIONAL PROLOGUE. 

The stoic's plan is futile, which requires 

Our wants supplied by lopping our desires. 

As well by this vague scheme might we propose, 

Cut off your feet, 'twill save the price of shoes. 

As well might we, thus courting public favor, 

To gain your plaudits lop off all endeavor. 

The thought we spurn: be it our constant aim 

By assiduity to gain a name, 

Your approbation points the road to fame ; 

Each effort use, nor e'er a moment pause, 

To reap that golden harvest — your applause. 

Sweet is the balm which Hope's kind aid bestows, 

To lighten grief, or mitigate our woes; 

To raise desponding merit, banish fear, 

And from the trembler wipe the falling tear; 

To diffidence inspire, it's dread beguile, 

And doubt extinguish with a cheering smile ; 

That task be yours. My co-mates with some dread, 

Depute me here, their willing cause to plead; 

Tour fiat must our future fates control, 

For here our chief has " garner'd up his soul ;" 

Eager to please, his throbbing heart beats high, 

By you depress'd, or swelled to ecstasy ; 

Then bid the phantom Fear at once depart, 

And rapture revel in his anxious heart. 

A PROLOGUE. 

The Court's assembled — no grave court of law, 
"With critic ears for every verbal flaw, 
But a gay group, whose members every one 
Have vowed allegiance to immortal Fun. 
We shall not cite a Marshall or a Kent 



76 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 

For musty rule or solemn precedent ; 
Our pleasant pleas on inerrier grounds we base, 
For on your risibles we rest our case. 
Mirth is our client, and our action lies 
Against the demons of the realm of sighs. 
These we would nonsuit, and to gain our cause 
"We only ask, for verdict, your applause ! 
Smile on our efforts then, our zeal 'twill fan, 
And throw a laugh in, sometimes, if you can. 
"We're up for trial — may the comic elves 
Help us work credit to acquit ourselves. 
Friends are our audience — not sardonic pokes, 
Who make a practice of dissecting jokes, 
And " accent," "gesture," "attitude," discuss, 
They chill our efforts, just to make a fuss. 
Good-natured faces on all sides we see, 
Ready to titter at each Jew d'esprit, 
And knowing these to genial hearts akin 
We'll close our prologue, and at once begin. 

A PROLOGUE. 

"Lend me your ears !" cried wiped-out Caesar's chum 
Ere he began the Forum's crowd to hum, 
And at the word each gaping Roman there 
Prepared to get Mark's Bunkum through his hair. 
Now we, as orators, are far below 
Will Shakspeare's mark — Mark Antony, you know, 
Nor can we hope to " stir you up," as he 
Stirred up old Rome to "rise in mutiny;" 
Yet, if to lend your ears you can afford, 
We promise this much — they shall not be bored. 

The deeper passions to awake and soothe, 
Like stormy Forrest or pathetic Booth, 
Is not our object. Royal Denmark's ghost, 
Come up to cool from its protracted roast ; 
Dickering King Dick, who, as a last resource, 
Offers to swap his kingdom for a horse ; 
The noble chief, with skin of copper dye, 



PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 77 

"Who'd sooner scalp his grandmother than " lie ;" 
The Lake of Como humbug, Claude Melnotte, 
"Who lied as fast as Bonner's team can trot ; 
Macbeth, Othello, Romeo, the Jew 
That for a human steak staked money due, 
Find in our mirthful repertoire no place— 
"We leave such roles to men of solemn face, 
Content life's merrier features to portray, 
And make you cackle with a comic lay. 

Prologues, upon the whole, are tedious things, 
Much like the tuning of a fiddle's strings 
Before the bow across the catgut sweeps, 
And from each chord the living music leaps. 
"We must not stretch beyond the measure due, 
Lest, stretching it, we stretch your patience too. 

A few last words : If there are critics here, 

"We trust they're far too generous to sneer. 

"We are not actors ; quite unknown to fame, 

Domestic pastime only is our aim ; 

So, if we fail in emphasis or tone, 

Don't, we beseech you, snub us with a groan, 

But at each pause — our fluttering nerves to calm — 

Give us, whatever our deserts, the palm. 

When theatrical arrangements have been made for only 
«i single evening's entertainment, it is highly appropriate to 
commence the play with a prologue and close with an 
epilogue ; but when an amateur company propose to give 
a series of regular performances, the prologue should be 
used to inaugurate the first or opening night, and the 
epilogue deferred until the close of the final entertainment 
at the end of the season. In this case the epilogue may 
consist of a short address, delivered by the Manager or a 
leading actor, introducing appropriate allusions to the 
preceding performances, and including thanks to the audi- 
ence for their indulgent attention and support. In default 
of this, one of the following might be substituted : 



78 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 

EPILOGUE. ' 
The wittiest thoughts in aptest words expressed, 
Lose, ill-recited, half their pith and zest. 
Perchance to night we've dished— in double sense — 
The dainties rare of Wit and Eloquence ; 
If so, excuse the Cooks who, inexpert, 
Have failed to give to Genius its desert. 

"We've done our best; but amateurs, of course, 
Misdrive, sometimes, the Muses' frisky horse, 
And upset all, despite the counsel sage 
That Hamlet gave to regulate the stage. 
If thus we've erred, our entertainment o'er, 
Tell us our faults — the audience has the floor. 
We're not thin-skinned, advice we do not spurn, 
Our part is played — so Critics take your turn ! 

You've laughed — that's something — but our want of skill 

May have amused you — that's a bitter pill, 

So we'll decline the mortifying dose, 

And that we really tickled you suppose ; 

Thankful, at least, our efforts to supply 

Suggestions mirthful, did not make you cry ! 

"Mirth," Milton cried, "admit me to thy crew;" 
We follow Milton's lead, and say so too. 
Accepting bounty from her magic hand, 
Enlisted soldiers in her corps we stand, 
And, ere we stack our arms, and say good night, 
With hearts untroubled and with spirits light, 
Let us proclaim — and join us all who choose — 
War, endless war, against Mirth's foe — the Blues ! 

Our blasts, as trumpeters to Humor's train, 
We've blown, and come at last to the refrain, 
Which, though perhaps by all the rest surpassed, 
Has this transcendent merit — 'tis the last! 

EPILOGUE. 
Ladies and Gentlemen: I'm supposed to be 
The humble spokesman of our Company. 
In that capacity I stand here now 



PEEPAEING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 79 

To make before you all our final bow. 

These closing moments wo regr.et. — My friends, 

The play is o'er, our short-lived glory ends. 

!N"o longer gorgeously arrayed 

As sighing lover, or as bashful maid, 

Or tyrant guardian vetoing every plan, 

Or trickster sly, or any other man; 

"We— ceasing from our plots and mimic strife — 

Resume our humble walks of daily life, 

And feel that, after so much toil and fuss, 

From the sublime to the ridiculous 

There's but one step. That step we're taking now; 

The Rubicon is passed, and you'll allow 

That if we've not succeeded in our parts- 

We lay our hands upon our aching hearts, 

And beg your mercy — we have done our best, 

And, if the fact must truly be confessed, 

Our best was not so very bad. We've struggled hard 

To gain your approbation ; don't discard 

Our humble efforts. [Confidentially.] Here I think I'll pause, 

To hear one round of genuine applause. 

[The applause is supposed to come in here.] 
Ah ! That was cheering ; given with a will ; 
Received with many thanks. It sent a thrill 
Of gratitude for your encouragement 
Right through our hearts. We now are quite content 
To lean upon your generosity ; 
"We feel like generals who have won a fight ; 
And, not to be guilty of verbosity, 
"We'll close these few remarks — 

My friends — good night. 
An excellent epilogue for the close of a juvenile perform- 
ance is given here. 

EPILOGUE. 
Our parts are perform'd and our acting is ended — 

We are lovers and villains and heroes no more ; 
To a much humbler station again we've descended, 

And are now boys and girls, as you've known us before. 



fifi SELECTION OF PLATS. 

Farewell then our greatness — 'twas as fiction, not fact, 

'Tis gone — but remembrance will often retrace 
The indulgent applause which rewarded each act, 

And the heart-cheering smiles that enliven'd each face. 

We thank you ! — Our gratitude words cannot tell 

But deeply we feel it — to you it belongs; 
With heartfelt emotion we bid you farewell, 

And our feelings now thank you much more than our tongues. 

We will strive to improve, since your plaudits thus cheer us, 
As we faiu would believe that you think we've done well ; 

And we hope to convince you the next time you hear us, 
That praise has but sharpened our wish to excel. 

SELECTION OF PLAYS. 

When a professional Manager decides on producing any 
particular piece, he selects his performers to suit the 
play ; the Amateur Manager, on the contrary, is generally 
obliged to select his play to suit his performers, and this is 
not always an easy matter. 

To smooth over this difficulty as far as possible, a short 
list of plays will be found in another part of this book 
which are well suited for Amateur performance ; the dram- 
atis persona of each are given, with the nature of the 
characters to be assumed. 

The two following short comediettas are translated from 
the German, and introduced as particularly applicable for 
parlor performance. They contain but few characters, and 
require nothing in the way of scenery, properties and cos- 
tumes but what are to be foimd in every dwelling house. 
The first piece is marked with the entrance plots to corre- 
spond with the Manager's directions on page 72. 

A FAMILY FIX. 
Characters. , 
Mr. Jones — An old Gentleman. 
Mrs. Catherine Jones— An old Lady, Jones' Wife. 
Emma— Their Daughter. 



A FAMILY FIX. 81 

Alfred— Emma's Husband. 
H enry — Man-servant. 
Eliza — "Waiting-maid. 

Costumes. 
Mr. and Mrs. Jones. — Plain walking-dress, gray wigs. 
Emma. — Tasty morning wrapper, or neat morning dress. 
Alfred. — Plain dress, or morning wrapper and slippers. 
Henry and Eliza. — In appropriate servants' dress. 

Properties. —Sofa ; chairs ; breakfast table ; white table-cloth ; 
plates, cups, etc., for four persons ; side table, newspapers and 
books ; two covered dishes ; two shawls ; napkin for Henry 

Scene. 
A dining-room, with table laid for breakfast for four persons. 
Left, a work-table and sofa. Right, a small table with news- 
papers, etc. (In laying a table for four, arrange it so that two are 
seated facing the audience, and one at each end, so that no one 
need turn his back to the audience.) 

(Henry is busy arranging the breakfast-table, placing the chairs, 
etc., humming a tune.) 







Eliza {outside). Henry ! Henry ! Open the door ! 
Henry {opening the door, centre). Open it is- 



{Enter Eliza, carrying a plate of eatables in each hand, with 
which she advances towards the table.) 

Henry. Come ; let me help you. {Takes one of the plates from 
her with one hand, puts tlie other around her waist and kisses Jier 
on the cheek.) 

Eliza. Oh, Henry! If any one saw you ! {Puts plate on table.) 

Henry. Who should see us, then ? {Puts his plate down.) 

Eliza. Master might come at any moment. 

Henry. Ah ! {Pubs Ms hands.) A kiss snatched as we go — on 
the wing, as it were — has such a flavor ! (Smacks his lips.) 

Eliza. But if master — 

Henry. And suppose he did see it ; what's the odds ? 

Eliza. I should sink down for very shame. 

Henry. Why so ? He kisses his wife, I suppose — only married 
three months. 



82 A FAMILY FIX. 

Eliza. His wife— yes. That's all very well. Now, if yon were 
my husband — 

Henry (tenderly). How soon shall it be? 

Eliza. Ah I who knows? 

Henry (with his arm around her waist). Any way, not as soon 
as we want it to be. Eh? 

Eliza (releasing herself). Pretty talk, indeed ! Attend to the 
table, now. (They both complete the table- arrangements.) 

(Alfred enters, out partially retires, iinobsemed, and listens.) 

Eliza. The old folks are coming to breakfast. They are a nice 
old couple ; ain't they ? 

Henry. Yes ; and how pleased they are to see the young people 
so happy. I'm sorry I can't supply you with a father-in-law. 

Eliza. That's no matter. If or can I — 

Henry. Oh, we shall be all-sufficient for one another. "We 
shall get along just as well without fathers-in-law or mothers-in- 
law. (Gravely.) Thank Heaven, the table is laid! 

Eliza. Yes. 

Henry. What? 

Eliza. Oh, nothing ! I said yes. 

Henry. That is not enough ; you should say the same. 

Eliza. "What, then? 

Henry. Thank Heaven, the table is laid ! 

Eliza. What! I? What for? 

Henry. Oh ! it is only right and proper. 

Eliza. Go along with your nonsense I 

Henry. "When any one has finished what he is about, he should 
always say, " I'm glad," or " I'm thankful/' or " Thank Heaven, so 
and so is done !" 

Eliza. What a silly notion ! 

Henry. It is not nonsense ; it is no silly notion. When the 
world was created, and the beasts and the monkeys, and lastly, 
Adam, he looked around liim, and seeing the difference between 
himself and the other monkeys, he said, "Thank Heaven that I am 
a man \" It is only right that when we have accomplished anything 
we should feel thankful, and say that we are so. 

Eliza. I believe you are getting crazy ! 

Henry. Eliza ! It is not craziness ; you are worse than a hea- 
then. (Softly.) Come here, now, and say as I do, " Thank 
Heaven, the table is laid ! n 



A FAMILY FIX 83 

Eliza. No. 

Henry. Just to please me. 

Eliza. I won't, now ! 

Henry {earnestly). Ton will not! 

Eliza. No, indeed ! 

Henry. When I ask you to oblige me, yon say you won't ? 

Eliza. Yes, sir ! If I won't, I won't ; not if you begged me 
ten times over ! 

Henry. What! Did you say I might ask you ten times, and 
you would refuse ? 

Eliza. Certainly, if you want me to do any such nonsense. 
. ■ . It *s n-'t &9«&e»8e : '■ut that iMfi "nothing to do with it. 
. houH say it, simply beqaase I abk you to do so. 

Eliza. I am not going to. \ 

Husky IreproachfuUy). Eliza! 

Eliz l (in the same manner). Henry ! 

Henry (with determination). Now you have got to say it! 

Eliza. I must? 

Henry. Yes ; I demand it. 

Eliza. You must be dreaming ; perhaps you got out of the 
wrong side of your bed this morning. 

Henry. Don't be absurd ! I am in earnest. You have only to 
Bay, " Thank Heaven, the table is laid \ h 

Eliza (saucily). Have I got to say that ft 

Henry. Yes. 

Eliza. I have got to ? I must, eh? 

Henry. Y ou must and shall. 

Eliza. Now I shan't say it at all! 

Henry (sorrowfully). Eliza, I beg you. 

Eliza. I shall not. 

HenrxI For the last time, I beg you. \ 

! rxi't ! I won't!- L won't ! No, not if you stand oti 



Henry, V\ e'll see, anyhow. 

Eliza (folding her arms). We'll see. 

® Henry. So ; you will not yield ? You choose to be ob- 
stinate f 
Eliza. Yes. 



84 A FAMILY FIX. 

Henry. You won't ? 

Eliza. No! {Stamps her foot) Have done, now . 

Henry. "Well, I'll make you. {Seizes her by both wrists and 
squeezes them.) 

Eliza. Oh ! oh ! You hurt me ! 

Henry. Say it. 

Eliza. No. Oh! {Screams.) 

Henry {dictating to her). Thank Heaven, the table is laid. 

Eliza. No, no ! {Slips away from him ; hits him on the hand 
and blows on her wrists.) You wretch! to squeeze me so. I 
won't say it, now ; there ! 

Henry. Indeed ! Well, it is all over between us. 

Eliza. I don't care. You may go. 

Henry. You give me up so lightly ? 

Eliza. If you want to act like a luney. 

Henry {beseechingly). "Why can't you say those few words ? 

Eliza. Just because I don't choose. I won't ; and that's an 
end of it. 
i. Henry {excitedly). I just tell you what it is— {Bell rings, left. ) 

Eliza. "We'll see to this another time. {Goes left.) 

Henry {following and catching hold of her dress). Eliza! 
Thank Heaven, the — 

Eliza {pushing him away). No ! {Exit, left.) 

Henry. Stubbornness, thy name is woman! You may beg, 
pray, use force— all. in vain. I do believe you might kill her be- 
fore she would say it. 

{Enter Alfred, laughing.) 

Alfred. For the present spare her life, Henry, whether she 
says it or not. 

Henry {confusedly). Oh ! sir ; did you overhear — 
• Alfred. A part of your quarrel? Yes. That girl has a 
pretty strong will of her own. 

Henry. Generally she is so good-natured. I cannot conceive 
what ails her to-day. 

Alfred. Yes, indeed ! It would take a pretty smart man to 
find out always what ails the women. But go ; bring a bottle of 
Madeira ; my father-in-law likes a glass after breakfast. 

Henry {going off, muttering). She shall say it ! She shall ! 
{Exit,) 



A FAMILY FIX. 85 

Alfred {looking left), I wonder if she is dressed yet. I 
heard her ring. Ah ! here she comes. 

(Enter Emma, left.) 

Emma. Good morning, Hubby. 

Alfred {embracing her). My dear Emma. 

Emma. Did you sleep well ? 

Alfred. Splendidly ! The happy always sleep well. 

Emma. And you are happy? « 

Alfred. Can you ask ? Are you not my wife ? 

Emma. Flatterer! {Archly.) You should give up all that sort of 
thing. We have been married three months. It is time you be- 
haved more like a husband and less like a lover. 

Alfred. And you wish it so ? 

Emma. How can you ask ? But every one says that the men 
alter considerably after marriage, and so, I suppose, I must pre- 
pare for it. The longer you put off this change, the more you 
will spoil me, and the harder it will seem to me. 

Alfred. You shall find no change in me, dear wife. You 
shall never have to complain of any difference in me. 

Emma. I will never give you any cause for it. 

Alfred. You are the best little wife in the world. You an- 
ticipate my wishes before I utter them. 

Emma. And don't you do so too ? 

Alfred. How can I withstand your bright eyes — when you 
look so lovingly — as if inviting a kiss. {Bends to kiss her.) 

Emma (repulsing him). Please to understand that my eyes 
never invite a kiss ; they only submit to it sometimes. 

Alfred. Ah ! then submit now. 

Emma (embracing him). Dear Alfred ! 

Alfred. Dear wifey ! 

Emma (sitting at table, left, and taking tip her needle-work). 
The old folks are late. I expected them before this. 

Alfred (sitting by her). Do you miss them very much ? 

Emma. "What a thoughtless question ! 

Alfred. No, no. I did not mean it in that way. (Pause; 
then laughs.) Oh ! just now — (Laughs heartily.) 

Emma. What was just now ? It must have been very amus- 
ing. 

Alfred. I overheard such a funny thing ! 



86 A FAMILY FIX. 

Emma. Overheard ! "Where, then ? 

Alfred [still laughing). Quite by accident— as I came out of 
my room — I heard voices in earnest conversation ; so I stopped 
and listened. Henry and Eliza had just laid the table, and Henry 
said, with the greatest fervor, " Thank Heaven, the table is laid !" 
and wanted Eliza to say the same, telling her that we should 
always say so when we have finished anything we undertake. 

Emma. How absurd ! 

Alfred. Eliza demurred, Henry insisted, and they had a regu- 
lar quarrel. He tried to compel her to say it, but she obstinately 
refused. 

Emma. Then he was as obstinate as she was. I do not see 
much to choose between them on that point. 

Alfred. It was simply a request on his part. 

Emma. But a most absurd request. 

Alfred. And scarcely any reason for her being so stiff-necked 
about it. 

Emma {earnestly). Not a bit more stiff-necked than Henry 
was in insisting. I really cannot see that Eliza was in the 
wrong. 

Alfred (laughing). We need not discuss the matter. Such a 
thing could never happen to us. (Emma looks up archly at him.) 
If I were to ask you such a trifle, you would do it without a 
moment's hesitation. 

Emma {laughing). Ha, ha ! 

Alfred (seriously). I am satisfied you would do it. 

Emma. But suppose I didn't? 

Alfred. Suppose you didn't ! Oh ! it is not to be supposed for 
an instant. I would bet odds against it. 

Emma. I don't think the bet would be a safe one. 

Alfred. Let us try. 

Emma. Oh, no ! Let us dismiss the subject. 

Alfred. I ask you, dear Emma, just to say, "Thank Heaven, 
the table is laid ! " 

Emma. Go away ! How childish ! 

Alfred (beseechingly). Please say it. 

Emma (inwardly struggling). "WTiat a thing to ask ! 

Alfred. Please, dearest wifey, say, just once, " Thank Heaven, 
the table is laid J" 



A FAMILY FIX. 87 

Emma (gently). No ; I do not wish to say it. 

Alfred. Let me beg of you ! 

Emma (more resolutely). No, no ! 

Alfred (astonished). Yon refuse ? 

Emma (decidedly). Yes, sir i 

Alfred. Can you refuse me ? 

Emma. It is such a silly thing to say ! . 

Alfred (rising). Silly or not silly, that has nothing to do with 
it. It is simply a matter of fulfilling my wishes. 

Emma. You should not ask me to do such an absurdity. 

Alfred. That may be, but you are wrong to refuse. 

Emma (rising, indignantly). So I am wrong ? That is the first 
time you ever said so. 

Alfred. It is the first time you have disappointed me. 

Emma. It is the first time you ever made such a childish, in- 
considerate request. 

Alfred. Childish ! Inconsiderate I "What do I hear ? Is that 
the voice of love t 

Emma. Love never demands absurdities. 

Alfred. Oh ! I did not demand. I requested it. 

Emma (with empJiasis). Indeed! And suppose you demanded it? 

Alfred. Then — (Hesitates.) 

Emma (still more emphatically). And suppose you demanded it ? 

Alfred (after a pause), Then I am sure you would comply 
at once. 

Emma (firmly). I should just exactly not comply. 

Alfred. "What? 

Emma, You presume to lay your commands upon me ? You 
Wish to conquer me ? I might possibly have complied with a re- 
quest, but obey a command — never I (Bings.) 

Alfred. Just see how excited you are ! How you set yourself 
up against me ! Is that the tone a wife should assume with her 
husband f 

Emma, Ought a husband to treat his wife in such a ridiculous 
manner 

{Enter Eliza, centre.) 

Emma (to Eliza). I have forgotten my pocket-handkerchief, 
{Exit "Eliza, left.) 



88 A FAMILY FIX. 

Alfred. Emma, do not make such a serious matter of this. 
It commenced in a mere joke. 

Emma. 1 have done nothing of the kind. You turned the joke 
into earnest. (Seats herself to worlc again, her baclc to Alfred, 
who snatches and opens a newspaper, and sits down at a distance 
from her). 

(Henry enters, centre, with a bottle of wine, which he puts om 
the table. Eliza enters, left; gives handkerchief to Emma, t 
and is going off, centre. ) 

Henry (aside, to Eliza). "Will you say it now 1 
(Eliza refuses by gesture and exit. Henry exit, centre, sor- 
rowfully.) 

Alfred (laying his paper down, going a step or two toward 
Emma, and speaking softly). Have you thought it over ? "Will 
you give up your obstinacy ? 

Emma {throwing down her work). "What! Obstinacy? You 
know I cannot bear that word. I am not obstinate. You are 
obstinate in insisting on such a piece of folly. 

Alfred. But, Emma, consider. The folly has nothing to do 
with the case ; I simply wish you to do as I ask you, 

Emma. And I simply wish you to drop the subject. 

Alfred. But my request was the first one made, and should 
take the precedence. I could never have believed that you would 
have said "no" to me. I can hardly believe it yet. 

Emma. Indeed! I must never say " no," always "yes, yes." 
Just like the men ! You don't seek for a loving wife, a consider- 
ate friend. ~Eo. You men all want to make your wives your slaves. 

Alfred. "What an exaggeration ! 

Emma. Not a bit. That's the way the subjection begins — with 
blind obedience. I will never be made a slave of— never ! I will 
defend my rights with my last breath. I will not submit to com- 
pulsion or force. 

Alfred (sarcastically). "I promise to love, honor and obey ;" 
so says the marriage-service. 

Emma. You see I was right. You want to be the master ; I 
am to be the slave. Your right is to command ; my duty is to 
obey. Oh ! I will allow you to be master — as I onght — in all 
sensible matters ; but when you begin with absurdities, no, sir ! 
Not much ! 



A FAMILY FIX. 89 

Alfred. Those are not exactly the expressions to use to any 
one for whom you have the least respect. 

Emma. Those are not the kind of requests to make of a wife 
for whom you have the least regard. 

Alfred. But in joke — 

Emma. Oh ! your joke was soon turned into bitter earnest. 
( Cries. ) Not a quarter of an hour ago you said you would never 
change, and now you speak to me like a cold, hard-hearted^ 
husband, who looks down on his wife as if she were a school- 
girl. 

Alfred (struggling with himself). Do not cry. Ton know that 
tears unman me. 

Emma (soiling). I cannot help my tears, when you cause 
them. 

Alfred. Gracious ! "What a monster I must be ! I make you 
cry ! Poor wife, how I pity your misfortune in being tied for life 
to such a monster ! 

Emma. That's right. Add insult to injury ! An hour ago I 
could not have believed this. I got up so full of spirits. (Sols.) 
I felt so happy ! (Sols.) And now— (Cries Utterly.) 

Alfred (ironically). There never was such a miserable wife! 
That's what you mean, is it not ? Out with it ! (Aside.) Those 
confounded tears! When the old folks- come, what will they 
think? (Strives to command himself . Aloud.) Emma! Emma! 
Wife, darling! Come ; let us make peace ! 

Emma (looking over her handkerchief). Peace ! 

Alfred. It is absurd of us to spoil this beautiful morning. 

Emma (softly). You begin to think so ? 

Alfred. No one in the world has less cause for disagreement 
than we have. 

Emma (pouting). And still you try me so hard ! 

Alfred. Now, come ; I will meet you half way. Let us shake 
hands in token of reconciliation. (Advances and extends his right 
hand.) 

Emma (slowly taking his hand). Tou bad fellow, to worry me* 
so ! 

Alfred (drawing her close to him, and embracing her coaxing- 
ly). And now for my sake, just say, "Thank — " 

Emm a (releasing herself quickly). What! Again? 



90 A FAMILY FIX. 

Alfred. Ton will not ? 

Emma (persuasively). But, Alfred — 

Alfred. I have done my half. I offered you my hand. Now 
yon surely ought to do the rest. 

Emma, You stick to it still ? Do you want to have the trouble 
all over again ? 

©Alfred. You can end the trouble in a moment. Only 
say the words, and I am satisfied. 

Emma (pouts and hesitates. TJien decidedly.) No, no! Not 
if you ask me till doomsday. 

Alfred. No? 

Emma. No ! {Folds her arms in defiance.) 

Alfred (becoming more and more excited). All right! Yery 
fine ! You see that I find gratification in a mere trifle. You re- 
fuse to do it. My wish may be a foolish one, but you will not 
fulfill it. It may even be obstinate in me to insist on such a tri- 
fling point. If you really loved me you would yield, rather than 
increase my obstinacy ; but you won't. The words are nothing 
in themselves. The utterance of them was simply a proof of 
your affection for me, and I lay great stress on the little proofs of 
love ; but you would give me no proof. I asked you, I begged, I 
entreated, I commanded you, I tried in every reasonable manner ; 
but you remain obstinate. And you profess to love me ! Your 
desire to gratify your selfish obstinacy is too great to allow you 
to do the smallest favor for your husband. Never tell me again 
that you love me. Humbug ! 

Emma {indignantly). Tfhat right have you to accuse me of 
"obstinacy ? You admit, yourself, that it was absurd to ask me to 
repeat a few meaningless words, and still you would compel me 
to do an absurdity. It is degrading for any one to commit a folly, 
and yet you insist on my degradation. Do you call that love ? 
You see that your conduct distresses me, (sobbing) that you are 
making me miserable; but you don't care a straw about that; 
you only want to have your own way. Your unkindness brings 
the tears into my eyes, you look coolly on; you see my entire 
existence rebels against your foil} 7 ", but you only care to bend me 
to your will. I should like to know on which side is the obsti- 
nacy, the want of affection ? 



A FAMILY FIX. 91 

[Enter Henry.) 

Henry {announcing). Mr. and Mrs. Jones ! (Stands at table, 
ready to wait) 

Alfred [gently, to Emma). Dry your eyes. What will the 
old folks think ? 

Emma (wiping her eyes). For aught I care, they may know all 
about it. I am not to blame. 

Alfred. It is your duty, as the lady of the house, to welcome 
your guests with a cheerful countenance. (Goes to meet the old 
folk's, Emma following him.) 

(Enter, centre, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, followed by Eliza, who 
remains just inside the door.) 

Jones. Good morning, my children, good morning ! "Well, how 
are you ? 

Alfred (giving his hand). Tou are most heartily welcome ! 
[Takes Jones' hat and cane.) 

Emma (embracing Mrs. Jones). "Welcome, dear mother ! 
(Extends her hand to Jones.) And you too, dear father ! 

Mrs. Jones. Aye, aye, my child ! I haven't seen you for quite 
a long time. What has come of you ? 

Emma. Dear mother, you know — 

Mrs. Jones. All right, Emma ; I know why. A newly-mar- 
ried wife has plenty else to think of besides her old mother. 

Jones. That's the way, the world over, wife ; but Emma 
thinks of us once in a while. Isn't it so, daughter ? 

.Emma. I am always thinking of you, dear father. 

Alfred (embarrassed, watching Emma anxiously, who avoids 
his looks). Come ; let us take our seats. 

Jones. With pleasure, my son. It is a good way for us to 
come, and I have brought a good appetite with me. (They seat 
themselves; Mrs. Jones between Alfred and Emma. Eliza 
lifts a dish-cover and retires. ) 

Henry (taking hold of Eliza, and dictating to her). Thank 
Heav — 

Eliza (slapping his hand). Get away with you.! (Exit, 
centre.) 

Jones (with glass in hand). Ha ! ha ! Wife, you've got be- 
tween the young folks. That's very sensible of you. If they sat 
together they would soon lose sight of their guests. Come, 



92 A FAMILY FIX. 

children ; here's to many more happy meetings between ns. 
(Drinks. Alfred takes his glass and hesitates; Emma wipes 
away a fear.) What's the matter with you? You don't drink. 
Alfred with a face as long as my arm, and Emma with a tear 
standing in her eye! (Laughs.) "What! a matrimonial jar 
already ? (Alfred signs to Henry off. Exit Henry, centre.) 

Mrs. Jones. What a question to ask ! Let the young folks ex- 
plain. 

Alfred. Oh ! a mere trifle, a joke, not worth mentioning. My 
dear Emma is a little bit too sensitive. 

Emma (bursting into tears). And that, too, besides all the rest; 
I am touchy ! 

Alfred. You might, at least, in the presence of our parents — 

Mrs. Jones. Keep quiet, Emma ; these things will happen 
sometimes. 

Emma. I know I am wrong in not controlling myself better. I 
have tried, and struggled hard; but I have been too deeply 
offended. 

Mrs. Jones. Ah ! How is this, Alfred ? 

Jones. Stop that, old lady ; don't you meddle with matters 
that don't concern you. 

Alfred (with emotion). From the way Emma puts it, one 
would think we had had a pitched battle. You shall decide for 
yourselves. I will tell you all about it. 

Jones. It is not worth while. We do not want to interfere in 
your little matrimonial difficulties. (Eats energetically.) 

Alfred. Indeed it is. I should like to have your opinion in 
the matter. 

Jones. That's not worth much, anyhow. 

Alfred. Could you believe — 

Jones. We don't believe anything. 

Mrs. Jones. Let him go on. We may be able to smooth down 
the little difficulty. Proceed, Alfred. 

Alfred.' This morning I overheard our Henry trying to per- 
suade Eliza to say, " Thank Heaven, the table is laid !" and they 
had a regular quarrel because she refused to say it. I told Emma 
this as a good joke, and eoaxingly said to her that she could 
never be so obstinate as Eliza was. Then, just for fun, I asked 
her to say the same phrase. She actually refused, and that, too, 



A FAMILY FIX. 93 

with such determined obstinacy, that it led to some words be- 
tween us. 

Emma (sobbing). Now ; you hear him ? Obstinacy ! touchy ! 
Pretty words he throws at me! You know, I am sure, that I 
never was the least bit obstinate. 

Jones (doubtiugly). H'rn ! H'm ! Well, not so very. 

Mrs. Jones [earnestly). No, husband; you don't do Emma jus- 
tice. She never was obstinate. (To Emma.) Dry your eyes, 
child. We won't interfere. You will soon make it up again. 

Emma. But he still insists on my repeating it, word for word. 

Mrs. Jones (astonished). What ! Alfred ! You still insist ? 

Alfred (embarrassed). Oh ! Please drop the subject. 

Jones (good-naturedly). That's much the best ; you spoil my 
breakfast. You, Emma, and you, Alfred, are a pair of fools. My 
son, you must not always take notice of a young wife's whim j 
she will soon get used to all that, like my wife there. She knows 
better ; she does as I wish without hesitation. Why ! if I were 
to ask her to say, "Thank Heaven, the table is laid !" she would 
say it at once. She's older, and knows better than to raise a fuss 
about nothing. 

Mrs. Jones (earnestly). But, indeed, I would not say any 
such thing. 

Jones (surprised). Eh! What? 

Mrs. Jones. You are old enough to know better. You would 
never ask such an absurd thing. 

Jones. Ah ! But suppose I did ask you ? 

Mrs. Jones. Why — Then — ( Undecided). No, I would not. 

Jones (half laughing, half serious). Why, wife, you surely 
are not in earnest ? 

Mrs. Jones. Indeed, then, I am. 

Jones. You would hesitate to do as I tell you ? 

Mrs. Jones (decidedly). Yes. 

Alfred. Oh ! pray, let us change the subject. 

Jones (thoroughly aroused but not out of temper). No, sir ! I 
never had this happen before, and it has got to be settled. Dear 
old wife, just say, "Thank Heaven, the table is laid !" 

Mrs. Jones. Oh, let me alone ! 

Jones. Please say it. 

Mrs. Jones. No. 



94 A FAMILY FIX. 

Jones (still good-tempered, but more earnest). I say, every- 
day, with hearty fervor, when I see a table spread for a meal, 
" Thank Heaven, the table is laid !" Surely you can say it once. 

Mrs. Jones. 1S t o. 

Emma. Mother, dear ! 

Jones. Catherine ! 

Mrs. Jones (more and more decidedly). No ! 

Jones. Katy! 

Mrs. Jones. No, no ! Just stop your old tongue ! 

Jones. Kitty ! 

Mrs. Jones. I won't ! 

Jones (rising). This is getting serious. Tou surely won't set 
your daughter a bad example by your obstinacy ? 

Alfred (to Mrs. Jones). Oh! Let me beg of you! 

Mrs. Jones (rising). The old story. The men always take one 
another's part, when they want the women to submit to them. 
(To Jones.) "Who ever heard of a father taking part against his 
own daughter? 

Jones. I take nobody's part but my own. It's no business of 
mine what my daughter and her husband choose to do ; I have 
now only to do with you. (To Mrs. Jones.) I want you to repeat 
the words I told you; just that and no more. 

Mrs. Jones. Tou should be ashamed to tell your wife to do such 
a stupid thing ; such a — 

Jones. Stupid or not stupid, that's not the question. I do it 
simply as a trial of your obedience, nothing else ; just as Gessler 
hung his hat up for the Swiss peasants to salute — simply to test 
their obedience to his authority. 

Mrs. Jones. Exactly. And as hat-worship was too absurd, 
too ludicrous, too degrading, the Swiss rebelled against their op- 
pressors. 

Emma. The Swiss would not submit, and we won't. 

Mrs. Jones. If you men set yourselves up as tyrants, we can 
rebel too. 

Emma. "We are women, and not slaves. 

Mrs. Jones. If you want female slaves you can go to Turkey — 
not here. We live in a Christian country. 

Emma (speaking fast and excitedly). I do declare ! The men 
would like to introduce Turkish manners here. "Wouldn't they 
like to be Turks? 



A FAMILY FIX. 95 

Mrs. Jones [also excitedly). Heaven be praised, we are not 
slaves yet, and don't mean to be, either ! 

Emma. Blind obedience is nothing else than slavery. 

Mrs. Jones. We want to know whether a command is right 
before we obey it. 

Emma. And such stupid orders as that we are not going to 
obey ; no, never ! ■ 

Mrs. Jones. jSTo, indeed ! 
(During the above, Alfred and Jones have teen trying to get 
a word in, but without success. Emma and Mrs. Jones 
now walk about, left, as if in earnest conversation.) 

Jones (aside to Alfred). This is a pretty kettle offish ! We've 
put our foot in it this time. 

Alfred (aside, to Jones). "What on earth shall we do? 

Jones. My dear fellow, you can do — do just as you please. 
This business has spoiled my breakfast ; and when I don't have a 
good, quiet breakfast, it spoils my appetite for dinner too. 

Alfred. It is not possible to give in. 

Jones. In a quarrel like this neither party ever gains anything. 
I have been quite ruffled. "Why, I believe I nearly lost my temper. 
(Smiling.) That would never do ; the whole thiug is not worth it. 
After all, I don't see that the women are altogether wrong. When 
you come to look at it, it seems just as obstinate on the one side 
to insist on a meaningless command, as it is on the other side to 
persistently refuse to obey it. (Takes Alfred aside, right, and ap- 
pears to further explain the matter to him.) 

Emma (to Mrs. Jones). If I had had the least idea that this 
thing was going to raise such a bother, I would have treated it as 
a. joke from the first and done as Alfred wanted, but now it is 
simply impossible. 

Mrs. Jones. Of course it is. Submission now would involve 
submission forever. 

Emma. He shall at least see that I have a little firmness in my 
composition. 

Mrs. Jones. That's right. We won't budge an inch. My old 
man will have a surprise for once. He'll find that I shan't get 
over this in a hurry. 

Emma. You will stand by me, won't you, dear mother ? 

Mrs. Jones. There's my hand on it. (Shakes hands, and ap- 
pears to give Emma advice, pointing occasionally at the men.) 



96 A FAMILY FIX. 

Jones (to Alfred). In every quarrel the wisest party is the 
first to yield. 

Alfred. I would do so with all my heart, but I cannot without 
loss of principle. 

Jones. Nonsense. So every one says. The act of giving in is 
a repulsive one; so people call it want of principle. Now the 
best way for you to get out of this is to end it pleasantly. 

Alfred. End it pleasantly? (Reflecting.) Ah! I have it. I 
know how exactly. (Buns off quickly, right.) 

Jones (laughing loudly). See here, children, your conspiracy is 
getting too strong for me. Now I am going to eat my breakfast, 
and then I can renew the attack with fresh power. (Sits down.) 
Thank Heaven the table is laid, and we have nothing to do but 
sit clown and eat ! (Eats.) 

Emma. Dear mother, shall we too ? 

Mrs. Jones. "Why, certainly. I don't see why we should go 
without our breakfast, because the men are making fools of them- 



Alfred (entering, with two shawls on Ms arm, coaxingly). 
Dear little wife, let us put an end to the war. Here, let us shake 
hands and make peace. I will admit that I was the most to 
blame, and, by way of penalty, I make you a present of one of 
these shawls. (Unfolds them, and holds out one in each hand.) 

Emma (feeling a little lit ashamed). Alfred, I really do not — 

Alfred. Take your choice. 

Emma. At present I — 

Alfred. Come, come ! Choose now. (Emma, strongly tempted, 
but against her inclination, points hesitatingly, and glances around 
at her mother.) "Which shall it be ? This one ? (Alfred holds out 
a shawl in his right hand. Emma again looks round, doubtingly, 
at her mother; then turns to Alfred and nods. Alfred lays the 
other shawl on the side-table, and puts the chosen one on Emma.) 
There. It becomes you admirably. (Goes in front of her.) Now 
I have done at least three-quarters of the giving in. "Well ? 
(Pauses a moment.) Come now. 

Emma (yielding reluctantly). Thank Heaven, — (looks quickly 
round at her mother, then whispers in Alfred's ear) — the table is 
laid! (Covers her face with her hands, as if ashamed of her- 
self.) 



A FAMILY FIX. 97 

(Enter Henry, bringing in a dish, which he places on the 
table, back, and remains there, standing, with napkin on 
left arm. ) 

Jones. That's right, young folks. Excellently well done. 

Alfred (embracing Emma). It is all ended now ? 

Emma. Forever. 

Alfred. You will never do so again ? 

Emma (lovingly). Never. 

Jones. Good again. Let's drink a bumper to that. 

(Enter Eliza, with basket of fruit, which she puts on the table, 
back, and remains standing. Henry and she turn their 
backs on one another, pettishly.) 

Alfred (hands Emma to seat at table; fills glasses. Re, 
Emma and Jones salute and drink). The treaty of peace is 
signed, sealed and delivered. (Dri?iks.) 

Mrs. Jones (ivho has been examining tlie shawl on the table, 
touching Jones on shoulder). Old man — 

Jones (turning round). Eh ? 

Mrs. Jones (pointing at shawl). Look there ! 

Jones. Well, what ? 

Mrs. Jones (slyly). There's another shawl. 

Jones. Yes, I see ; seems to be a very nice shawl, indeed. 
'Turns round again, and continues eating.) 

Mrs. Jones. Don't you want to pay your penalty, too ? 

Jones (with his mouth full). Me ! with that shawl ? Cost too 
much ; can't afford it. 

Mrs. Jones. But consider — 

Jones. I expect you to do it cheaper than that, old lady. It's 
all very well for a newly-married young man to conquer a peace in 
that way, but when he gets as old as I am he won't be such a 
simpleton. 

Mrs, Jones. Oh, you miserable old sinner. (Appears to con- 
tinue scolding Jones.) 

Emma. Alfred, dear, J hope you won't be so when — 

Alfred (to Henry, laughing). Well, Henry, are you all right 
with Eliza again ? 

Henry (sadly). Oh, dear me! There's no give in about her yet. 

Alfred. Oh, Eliza ! How obstinate of you! 

Eliza {embarrassed). But, sir — 



98 A FAMILY FIX. 

Emma (laughing). You will have to yield, Eliza ; yon 1 'd 
better begin. 

Eliza. But you ought to know — 

Emma. We know all about it. 

Jones. That's so, Eliza ; you started the whole trouble. 

Mrs. Jones {eagerly). Yes, yes ; the whole trouble began 
with you. You have spoiled our entire morning; and, as a 
penalty for your offense, you must say the words before us all. 
ifow, out with it I {Dictating slowly, ivord for word.) Thank 
Heaven — the table — is laid ! Now, begin ! (Jones, Emma and 
Alfred btirst out laughing and clap their hands. Mrs. Jones 
is astonished.) "What's the matter now ? 

Jones. You've said the words yourself, old lady. 

Mrs. Jones. Oh, dear ! so I did. I never thought of that. 
{Hesitating a moment.) Well, it is said. All the better. {Smiles, 
and offers Jones her hand.) 

Alfred. Come, now, Eliza, you are the only one left. 

Eliza {ashamed, looking at Henry). Oh, I cannot. 

Emma. I will arrange everything for your wedding in three 



Eliza. Our wedding ! Oh ! Thank Heaven, — 

Alfred {inquiringly). Well % 

Eliza. Sir? 

Alfred. Why didn't you go on ? 

Eliza. Go on ! What then ? 

Emma. You began well, just now ; you said " Thank Heaven ;" 
that's the first half. Now, why don't you finish ? 

Eliza. I said " Thank — " Oh, so I did ! But I didn't mean— 

Mrs. Jones. And. I didn't mean it, either, when I said it. You 
have said half; the rest should not worry you. 

Eliza {looking piteously at each, in succession). The table is 
laid! {Hides her face in her apron and exit quickly, centre, fol- 
lowed by Henry. ) 
' Jones. I think we have waited long enough for our breakfast; 
now let us — 

Emma. Well said ! Let us take our seats, and to make sure 
that we shall have no further chance of interruption, we will ring 
the bell and draw the curtain. {They take their seats at the tulle.) 
{Curtain.) 



THE PHILOPENA. 99 

THE PHILOPENA. 

Characters. 

George — A young farmer. 

Betty — His wife. 

Eugene — An intimate friend of George. 

Costumes— Domestic in style. 

Properties. — Two tables ; a white table-cloth ; ironing board, 
flat-irons and rough linen ; breakfast crockery, etc., for two ; a 
gilt cup ; a loaf of bread ; a skein of worsted ; a guitar ; a key ; a 
book. 

Scene. 

An apartment. On each side a table. On the table (right) a 
long white table-cloth, reaching in front to the floor ; upon it an 
ironing-board, and rough linen, ready for ironing. The table 
(left) is laid for breakfast, with knives and forks, etc., for two 
persons. One of the cups a fancy gilt one. 

Betty is discovered standing at the table, left, dressed in a calico 
wrapper, and white cap concealing her hair, which has been 
arranged in curls. While she cuts the bread, etc., she hums an 
air. 

Betty. How the time does fly, to be sure ! To think that I 
have been married two whole weeks ! I have been very, very 
happy, but George is such a jealous fellow ! I declare ; I hardly 
dare look at any one else without seeing his eyes following my 
every movement ! I think he loves me, though. (Pause). And 
what fun it is with that philopena ! He can't catch me, and I 
have tried every way to catch him, but he is always on the watch. 
If I could only throw him off his guard, now ; but how can I ? 
(Takes up the gilt cup.) 

George (enters right, watches Betty for a moment. Just as 
she has picked up the fancy cup he steals behind her, puts his arm 
around hericaist and kisses her.) Good morning, Betty ! 

Betty (slaps him on the mouth). What a bad fellow you are to 
startle me so ! 



100 THE PHILOPENA. 

George (coaxingly). Was the surprise so very disagreeable t 

Betty. I just had the cup in my hand. If I had let it fall it 
would have broken all to pieces. 

George (sarcastically, releasing her). It would indeed have 
been a pity to have broken that beautiful cup ; that charming 
forget-me-not from your young officer. 

Betty (reproachfully). George ! 

George (still more sarcastically). A great pity, indeed ! Tou 
think so much of that cup that you must use it every morning at 
breakfast. What a sacrilege it would have been if I had been the 
unhappy cause of its destruction ! 

Betty. George ! 

George (sarcastically). He was a fine-looking fellow, this 
young lieutenant ! So warlike ! So brave ! 

Betty (looking at GEORGE/or a moment, in surprise). Yes, 
that cup is very dear to me, and I shall never forget the giver. 
When our house was on fire, and, half suffocated with smoke, I 
screamed for help, and no one heard my cries, he dashed through 
the flames and rescued me, at the peril of his life. 

George (beseechingly). Betty ! 

Betty. But for him I should have perished; should never have 
been your wife. Am I right in cherishing his keepsake ? 

George. I am in the wrong. 

Betty. Should I not hold in high esteem a present which ever 
reminds me of a noble man and a noble deed ? 

George (deprecatingly). Dearest, darling wifey ! 

Betty. You shall not have another opportunity for taking 
offense at the sight of this cup. (Takes it and locks it up in cup- 
board, back). 

George (hurrying to prevent her). Don't do it, Betty. I 
acknowledge my error. Bring it out again. 

Betty'. What did you promise me, the other day ? 

George. I promised to amend, and — 

Betty. You would not make me sick with your jealous insinu- 
ations. 

George. Yes, yes ! I see what a blockhead I am. 

Betty. We have been married just two weeks, and not one 
day has passed without your worrying me with some silly piece of 
jealousy. 



THE PHTLOPENA. 101 

George. Dear wifey, I should not be so jealous if I did not 
love you so much. 

Betty. Indeed ! Do I not love you, then ? 

George {embracing her). My angel ! 

Betty. And am I jealous of you ? 

George. Well, you — 

Betty. Well, I — 

George. Tou have no cause. 

Betty (releasing herself and looking straight at him.) And 
have you any cause ? 

George. No, no ! I know how foolish I am. I am sore at 
heart ; bear with my infirmity. 

Betty. Tou should have confidence in me. 

George. Oh, I have, indeed ! 

Betty. Without confidence there is no true love. 

George. Yes, yes! Tou are right. Pardon me. (Betty 
offers him her hand.) Now bring back the cup. 

Betty. No. 

George. As a proof of your forgiveness ? 

Betty. No. If you are a right good boy for one whole week I 
will, but not unless. 

George. But, my darling little wife — 

Betty. But, my darling little husband, it can't be. I mean to 
have it as I will. Now, come and take your breakfast. 

George. Is it all over ? 

Betty. Tes. 

George. Everything serene again ? 

Betty (leaning on him). How difficult you poor, weak men 
are to convince ! 

George. Tou are an angel ! (Leads her to the table, and they 
seat themselves. ) 

Betty (pouring out the coffee). "Where are you going to-day ? 

George. In the woods. I must see after cutting down some 
timber. 

Betty (offering him a cup). Here is your coffee. 

George (refusing it. ) Remember the philopena. 

Betty (slapping him playfully on the mouth). Oh, you bad 
fellow ! 

George (laughing). Tes, my dear ; you don't catch me this time. 



102 THE PHILOPENA. 

Betty {pouting). It's plain that we are married. 

George (laughing). Yes, about two weeks. 

Betty. Otherwise you would have suffered yourself to be 
caught on purpose, out of pure gallantry. 

George. Am I, then, un gallant? 

Betty. Yes, yes ! 

George. But you well know — 

Betty. That you are married. 

George {laughing.) That I must not lose this philopena. 

Betty. All an excuse ! 

George. Did I not make a bet with you that I would not lose 
this time ? 

Betty {slyly). Here's your cup. 

George. That I should have to give you a new shawl, if I let 
you catch me t 

Betty. I have tried these three days all I could ; now I shan't 
try any more. 

George. Shall we cancel the philopena ? You are just as care- 
ful as I am. 

Betty {handing him the cup). Here ! 

George. Remember the philopena. 

Betty {impatiently). Oh, let it go ! I don't want to win it 
any more. 

George. But, Betty, what a lack of perseverance! You 
women aro so smart, it ought to be so easy to catch me. 

Betty. You don't mean to say so ! 

George. Did you not make up your mind that you were bound 
to win this ? 

Betty. Dear George— 

George. Well? 

Betty. Let us talk about something else. That philopena is 
getting flat, stale, and unprofitable. 

George {laughing). With all my heart if you wish. {Eats 
quietly for a moment.) Oh! By the way, my friend Eugene re- 
turned home yesterday, and is coming to call here to-day. 

Betty. What ! the woman-hater ? 

George. Yes. 

Betty. Yo^^ do not know how much he excites my curiosity. 

George. Indeed? 



THE PHILOPENA. 103 

Betty. According to your description, he must be such an in- 
teresting man ! 

George. Really? 

Betty. I am really glad he is coming. 

George (losing his temper again). "What ! Because he is so in- 
teresting ? 

Betty. What's the matter -with you now? 

George. Why, I have to go away ; and — and leave you en- 
tirely alone with him. 

Betty. Oh, I see ! 

George. It will doubtless be most interesting to you. 

Betty. My big, strong husband wants to show me that he 
cannot keep his promise. 

George. But— 

Betty (mocking him). I acknowledge my fault — 

George (supplicaUngly). Darling Betty ! 

Betty (still mocking). I promise to amend. 

George (earnestly). That will I. See ; I am in good humor 
again. 

Betty (teasingly). Is it possible? 

George. I have determined to control myself, *and trample 
upon my troublesome temper. 

Betty. Oh, what heroism ! 

George. Have I not succeeded ? 

Betty. Oh, I suppose so ! Ton are not, surely, jealous of a 
man whom I never yet set eyes on? 

George. Ah ! But you seem so anxious to see him. 

Betty. Poor cup ! What a time you will have to be kept in 
the closet! (George strikes his forehead with impatience.) Good- 
bye, dear cup ! I shall never see you out again. 

George. In one week it shall come out. 

Betty. l$o ; not in a year. 

George. If, during the next seven days, I am once the least 
bit jealous, I promise you to give you your philopena. 

Betty. Oh, oh ! I shall win it anyhow ; so that is no wager. 

George. You think you will ? 

Betty. I only mean — Oh ! You never told me how it was 
that your friend Eugene came to hate the women so. 

George. Because he is a fool. 



104 THE PHILOPENA. 

Betty. Oh ! That is clear enough. But there must have been 
some cause. 

George. Eugene has a peculiar temperament. His disposition 
is naturally cold, and morbidly sensitive. 

Betty. Indeed ! "What a nice man he must be ! 

George. Two years ago his betrothed jilted him, and it had 
such an effect on his mind as to cause a real hatred of the entire 
sex. 

Betty. His sweetheart was false to him. "Was that all? 

George. "Was that all ! ( With energy.) That all ? I should have 
thought that was about enough to drive a man crazy ! And 
you say so coolly, "that all V If you should be faithless to me — 

Betty. Then you might have some excuse for going just a 
leetle out of your mind. But if you are almost so before that 
happens — 

George. Ton women never will learn how to treasure up a 
husband's love. 

Betty {sarcastically). No. "We are entirely unworthy of such 
an invaluable treasure. 

George. The most of you: 

Betty. All. 

George [gently). "With some exceptions. 

Betty. "Without exception. 

George. No. You, for one. 

Betty. Thanks. No, my noble duke ; I am not a whit better 
than my sister women. 

George. You don't say ! 

Betty. I am a woman ; nothing more and nothing less. "We 
women are naturally all good. "When, by chance, we are good 
for nothing, you men are to blame for it. 

George. You may be right. {Looks out of window.) See; 
there comes Eugene. 

Betty. Then I will be off. 

George. But you are coming back ? 

Betty. "Why, of course. 

George. Try and get him into conversation. 

Betty. I will. 

George. Be friendly with him, 

Betty. Certainly. 



THE PHILOPENA. 105 

George. That's to say, polite, not too friendly, you know. 

Betty. My husband's commands are my laws. Good-bye! 
Come back soon. (Aside.) I believe he's the least mite jealous again. 

George. I will hurry as much as possible. I will gallop all 
the way. 

Betty. Take care of yourself. 

George. Don't be anxious. Good-bye ! I shall be back in an 
hour. 

Betty (kissing him). Good-bye ! (Exit, left.) 

George (looking after her). She is so dear, so good, so 
amiable! Oh, this accursed jealousy ! At any rate I am young, 
and we gain in wisdom as we grow older. 

{Enter Eugene. His dress is somewhat neglected and dis- 
orderly. He wears a full beard, and carries a book in his 
hand.) 

George (going forward to meet Eugene). "Welcome, friend 



Eugene. Back again, you see. 

George. "Well, and in good spirits f 

Eugene. Entirely. 

George. And your business matters ? 

Eugene. All settled, and in order. 

George. And happy ? 

Eugene. Yes. I thanked Heaven when I turned my back on 
the city, and started back again to peace and solitude in the 
country. How do you get along ? 

George. I have been married just two weeks. How can you 
ask ? "Why, I am the happiest mortal under the sun ! 

Eugene (shaking his head). Ah ! 

George. You don't half believe me— you woman-hater ! 

Eugene (taking George by the arm, despondently). Oh, yes! 
I once had hopes of happiness, a foretaste of felicity ; and yet I 
was deceived. 

George. But only once. 

Eugene. And is not that enough ? 

George. You might have made another trial. 

Eugene. E"o — once, and for all. 

George. Perhaps you were not wholly without fault in the 
matter. 



106 THE PHTLOPENA. 

Eugene. My fault was only loving the faithless jilt too well. 

George. And you worried her with your jealousy until you 
drove her away from you. 

Eugene. Love is always jealous. 

George. You must have confidence ; love cannot exist with- 
out it. 

Eugene. Are you never jealous ? 

George. I ? No — yes — that is — well, perhaps a little bit ; but 
not like you. Tou carried it too far. "Why, you would not let 
your affianced dance with any one. 

Eugene. She could dance with me. 

George. You could hardly bear her to speak to any one. 

Eugene. Could she not speak to me? 

George. Not even look at another man. 

Eugene. Had she not me to look at ? 

George. "We'll never agree on these things. But now I'm mar- 
ried you surely'll come and visit me occasionally, as of old ? 

Eugene. I will try. When my betrothed deserted me, and my 
passionate love for her was transformed into the deadliest hatred 
of the entire sex — when I fled hither, bought this property, and 
desired to see nothing but the trees of the forest and the stars in 
the heavens — I met you. We understood one another. I learned 
to like you, and it became a pleasure and solace to pass some 
hours every day in your company. (George presses his hand.) 
I will try and continue my accustomed visits, and see whether I 
can school myself to meet your wife — (shuddering) to look upon 
a woman once more. 

George. My Betty is so good ! 

Eugene. Do you think so ? 

George. Indeed I do. 

Eugene. They are all good for nothing, if she whom I loved 
so fondly could give me up. 

George. Well, let that pass. We must bear a little with your 
weakness. But business compels me to leave you. I shall be 
back soon. Meanwhile, my wife will entertain you. 

Eugene. No need. My Byron will afford me all the entertain- 
ment I require. 

George. A young fellow of twenty-six should soon get dull 
with nothing but Byron to amuse him. 



THE PHTLOPENA. 107 

Eugene. But I shall soon have you again. 

George. That's all very well; but life, without woman's love, 
is a blank indeed. 

Eugene. I have given it up. I should like to see what woman 
could please me now, or could again awake any warmer feeling 
in me. 

George. Bah ! For two long years you have seen no one but 
your homely old housekeeper, and, perhaps, a few country girls 
who ran away when you went near them. 

Eugene. Just as if they saw a wild beast ! Yes ; that suited 
me exactly. They may avoid me, as earnestly as t avoid them. 
Upon my word, George, I submit my friendship for you to the 
severest test, by forcing myself into seeing your wife. 

George. I appreciate the sacrifice, but still I hope — 

Eugene (nervously). "What? 

George. That you will be a sensible fellow once more. 

Eugene. Am I not ? 

George. To a certain extent you are a dear, sensible fellow, but 
on one point — 

Eugene. Immovable as a rock. 

George. Tou can be as you please, for aught I care. But my 
horse is waiting. Good-bye ! 

Eugene. Good-bye ! 

George. "We shall soon meet again. (Exit, right.) 

Eugene (looking after him). Oh ! Poor George ! How soon 
you will wake up from your dream of happiness ! Truly said one 
of the wise men of Greece, that he thanked Heaven daily that he 
was a man, and not a women. " The women/' said he, " were the 
tares the enemy sowed among the wheat." (Sits, right, and reads.) 
(Enter Betty.) 

Betty (aside). So that is the grim monster who has the hardi- 
hood to defy us women ! I wonder, now, if I could cure him ? 
Here's a good chance to give my good, silly husband a lesson in 
jealousy, and perhaps — yes, I will at least try some of the wiles of 
the sex upon him. (Aloud.) Good morning ! 

Eugene (gets up, makes a studied low, without looking at her. 
Gruffly). Good morning! 

Betty (approaching him and laying her hand on his shoulder). 
I understand you dislike women. 



108 THE PHILOPENA. 

Eugene {stealing a rapid glance at her). I have a sworn an- 
tipathy to tho sex. 

Betty. That suits me exactly. 

Eugene. Eh? What? 

Betty. My mother always warned me against men who were 
given to be too attentive and devoted. Now, as you hate women, 
you cannot be a very dangerous man. 

Eugene. No, indeed ! 

Betty. Then, you see, my husband can never be in the least 
jealous of you. 

Eugene. That's a sure thing. 

Betty (clapping her hands). Oh, how nice ! 

Eugene (whose eyes are always fixed on his book). Is George 
ever jealous, then ? 

Betty. "Worse than a Turk ! That's the reason I am so pleased 
to find you entirely harmless. I need not be always under con- 
straint with you ; I can laugh and sing to my heart's content, and 
never raise any suspicion about it. 

Eugene. Suspicion about me ! Not much ! (Turns his chair 
half round away from her.) 

Betty (going to table, left, and sitting before toilet-glass.) Are 
you afraid to look at me ? 

Eugene. How so ? 

Betty. You turn your back to me. 

Eugene. It's not for that, but — (Edges his chair round.) 

Betty. My husband told me to pay you every attention, so you 
must not be so churlish with me. 

Eugene. I did not mean it so. 

Betty. I was to entertain you ; but how can I, if you won't 
even look at me ? (Eugene glances up at her, looking back on his 
book again. ) "Will you excuse my putting my hair in order ? I 
had not finished doing it when you arrived, and, rather than leave 
you alone, I came in just as I was. 

Eugene. Don't let me disturb you. I wouldn't stay another 
minute, if I thought I interfered -with your arrangements. 

Betty. Thanks ! I really think we shall get along together 
splendidly. ( Takes off her cap, letting her curls fall down, and 
arranges them.) But we cannot possibty carry on anything like a 
pleasant conversation without looking at one another. The eye 



THE PHIXOPENA. 109 

eometimes is as eloquent as the tongue. (Eugene looks at her 
furtively from time to time, but carefully avoids meeting her 
glance. ) They say that people can talk with their eyes, and I 
really think there is something in it. (Pauses.) It takes two to 
converse, and, if I cannot get an answer out of you, how can I 
amuse you as my husband desired me to do ? Shall I sing you a 
song? 

Eugene (carelessly). If you wish it. 

Betty (taking a guitar and tuning it). Oh ! Oh, dear ! 

Eugene. that's the matter ? 

Betty. Oh, I cannot turn this screw ! See ; my poor finger is 
quite red. (Holds her finger before his face, and blows on it.) 

Eugene (coolly). I am sorry for it. 

Betty (pouting). I don't believe it 

Eugene. Why not? 

Betty (mocking him). " I am sorry for it." Is that the way you 
speak when you feel sorry ? Tou are as immovable as flint. JSow, 
help me turn that screw. (Ha?ids him the guitar. Eugene turns 
the screw. Betty kneels before him, striking the string till it is 
tuned.) A little bit more— good. Fow the A string. No;theother 
screw. That's right ; thanks. Now you can take your book 
again. (Sits a little apart and sings.) 

ISTo one to love, none to caress, 

Eoaming alone through this world's wilderness. 

Sad is my heart, joy is unknown, 

For in my sorrow I'm weeping alone. 

No gentle voice, no tender smile, 

Makes me rejoice or cares beguile. 

IsTo one to love, none to caress, 

Eoaming alone through this world's wilderness. 

Sad is my heart, joy is unknown, 

For in my sorrow I'm weeping alone. 

(While she is singing, Eugene pays more and more attention; 
his book falls from his hand, as his gaze becomes fixed on 
her.) 

Betty (looking sideways at him). How do you like my song ? 
(Aside.) Hits his case exactly, 
Eugene (thaioing). Beautiful! (Embarrassed.) 



110 THE PHILOPENA. 

Betty (putting down the guitar and singing, sotto voce). No 
one to love, none to caress. (Spoken.) Oh, dear me ! How pro- 
voking ! 

Eugene. What's the matter with yon ? 

Betty (taking up some worsted). My winder is broken; I 
wanted to wind some yarn. Now, isn't that vexing ? Oh, my 
dear friend, how you could help me ! 

Eugene. What! I? How? 

Betty. If you would only hold this skein while I wind it 
Oh, please do ! 

Eugene (nervously). But — 

Betty. Please — please ; I will do anything afterwards to 
oblige you. If you hate women you cannot help making your- 
self useful and obliging. If you don't help me I cannot get the 
skein wound alone. 

Eugene. I do not understand how. (His gruffness is gradually 
disappearing, although he strives to retain it.) 

Betty. There is nothing to understand about it. I can show 
you how in a moment. Do, please ! 

Eugene (reluctantly yielding). Well, if needs must — 

Betty. Put your book away. Now turn round toward me. 
Hold up both hands. Not so. (Places his hands and lays the 
skein over them.) See how simple it is. How long have you 
been in this neighborhood? 

Eugene. Almost two years. 

Betty. And all the time alone ? 

Eugene. Solitude is my best friend. 

Betty. Please pay more attention ; you must assist me a little 
as I wind. (Directs his hands.) Solitude! Nonsense! That's 
all very well for a grumpy old hermit ; but you— how old are 
you? 

Eugene. Twenty-five years. 

Betty (examining his face carefully). Why, I should take you 
for at least thirty. That's the fault of your shaggy beard. 

Eugene. Does my beard offend you ? 

Betty. Not at all. I like to see a good beard. A man with- 
out a beard ! Oh, fie ! Were you never in love ? 

Eugene (troubled). I beseech you, madame, do not touch on 
that subject. 



THE PHILOPEXA. Ill 

Betty. I beg you will not call me "niadaine ;" that is so horri- 
bly formal. 

Eugene. What, then, shall I? 

Betty. Gall me " Betty." You are my husband's esteemed 
friend, and— 

Eugene. Oh, but madame ! 

Betty. "Well, what is it ? 

Eugene. But— 

Betty. B-e-t — Bet. Come ; out with it 

Eugene. I cannot. 

Betty. Just try. I never had a woman-hater call me " Betty." 
I should like to hear it. 

Eugene. Well— B—JBe— Betty ! There! 

Betty. Fie ! 

E ugene. What is it ? 

Betty. You say " Betty" as if you would bite me. My hus- 
bar d says " dear Betty," so softly, so coaxingly. i like that much, 
better. Don't tell me you were never in love ! 

Eugene. Madame, spare me ! 

Betty. Betty ! 

Eugene. Betty, spare me ! 

Betty. Bo tell me now. I am all curiosity. "Were you never 
in love ? 

Eugene. You are tearing open my wound afresh. 

Betty. You have loved, then ? You must tell me all about it. 
I thought you had a natural idio— idio — "What's the word ? 

Eugene. Idiosyncrasy. 

Betty. Idiocrat — 

Eugene. Idiosyncrasy ! 

Betty (slapping his hands). Look out ! You are dropping 
the skein. Well? 

Eugene. What ? 

Betty. You were going to tell me all about it. 

Eugene. Oh ! Let us leave that alone. 

Betty. My dear Eugene, how can you refuse to gratify my 
irrepressible curiosity. Was she beautiful ? 

Eugene. Yery. 

Betty. Young? 

Eugene, About your age. 



112 THE PHILOPENA. 

Betty. "What color were her eyes ? 

Eugene. Black. 

Betty. "What was her name 1 

Eugene. Sophia. 

Betty. That's a pretty name. You must have loved her very 
deeply. 

Eugene. She was my all. 

Betty. Is she dead, then ? 

Eugene. No. 

Betty {stopping her ivorsted-icinding). "What ? 

Eugene. She is alive and in good health. 

Betty. You don't say ! Did you leave her, then ? 

Eugene. No. She was faithless to me. 

Betty. Oh, fie ! "What a shame ! 

Eugene. "Was it not ! 

Betty. How can a woman be faithless? I cannot understand 
how she can be. 

Eugene. I do not understand it either. 

Betty. Poor — poor fellow ! Now I see — 

Eugene. "What? 

Betty. Now I see why you hate the sex. 

Eugene. I had good reason. Is it not so ? 

Betty. Faithless to her lover! How shocking! My poor 
friend, how you must have suffered ! 
' Eugene. Oh, Betty, I was nearly out of my senses! 

Betty. 1 should not wonder. You should forget the fickle 
creature. 

Eugene (softening o\j degrees). I cannot. 

Betty. Believe me, she was not a good woman ; she was a 
disgrace to her sex. Faithlessness is not a woman's failing; it is 
not natural to her. 

Eugene. Oh, if she had only felt as you do ! You are so kind, 
Betty ; your sympathy does me so much good ! 

Betty. Really? 

Eugene. Oh, in my innermost heart ! \ 

Betty. I am so glad of that. I wish I could console you. ( TJicy 
look at one another; she drops her eyes.) It is a sad thing to see 
a person in trouble. It always makes me cry to see others cry. 

Eugene. How kiud, how feeling you are, dear Betty ! 



THE PHILOPENA. 113 

Betty (arousing lierself). Don't let us speak any more about 
your faithless one ; she was not worthy of you. 

Eugene. Yes ; perhaps she was. 

Betty. How so ? 

Eugene. Perhaps I was also somewhat to blame. 

Betty. Oh, let us leave this melancholy history ! You shall 
tell me more another time, when we are better acquainted. 

Eugene. I could tell you everything this moment. 

Betty. Do you confide in me ? 

Eugene. Entirely. (Betty drops lier eyes. Eugene takes her 
hand.) You do not look at me. 

Betty. Take care ! You will drop the skein. 

Eugene. Ah, yes! (Resumes former position.) 

Betty. You are tolerably rich, are you not ? 

Eugene. Oh, yes ! 

Betty. How nice that must be ! I wish I was rich. 

Eugene. Money is not happiness. You are richer than I. 

Betty. What ? I ? 

Eugene. Your contentment ; your good temper — 

Betty. That's all very well ; but when one is rich one can help 
others, and do so much good. You are, of course, a most liberal 
man? 

Eugene. I ? Yes— no — that is — 

Betty. No ? You have something so good-natured in your 
countenance. I cannot suppose that your dislike to the female 
sex has prevented you from acts of charity to the poor and 
needy ? 

Eugene. Really, I have done so little. 

Betty. Fie! I could not have believed it That is very 
wrong of you. 

Eugene. But, Betty— 

Betty. No one should be so wrapt up in himself as to forget 
others. 

Eugene. But, dear Betty — 

Betty. What ! Must I tell you the truth ? 

Eugene. I will improve. Will you aid me ? 

Betty. How can I ? 

Eugene. Distribute my alms ; show me the poor who need as- 
sistance. 



114 THE PHILOPENA. 

Betty. That will I, right gladly. I will show you where yon 
can bestow your charity — plenty of it. 

Eugene. As much as you will ; you shall be my almoner. 

Betty. You are dropping the skein. You did much better at 
first. Are you getting tired of it ? 

Eugene. Not in the least. 

Betty. If you are, only say so ; we will give it up. 

Eugene. Oh, dear, no ; I'll hold it as long as you please. 

Betty. Ah ! 

Eugene (jumping up). "What's the matter ? 

Betty. Something's in my eye. Oh, how it hurts ! 

Eugene (putting the yam down and taking the ball from her 
hand). Do not rub it. 

Betty. Do please look and see if you can find it. 

Eugene. Open your eye. 

Betty. I cannot. "Where are you ? (Both eyes shut and feel- 
ing round for him.) 

Eugene. Here. (Gives his hand. Betty leans against him. 
Eugene puts his arm gmxtly round her and draws her head to his 
breast.) Try and open your eye. (Betty opens eye slowly. 
Eugene tends over her.) Which eye is it ? 

Betty. The right eye. (Eugene blows in it.) That does no 
good. 

Eugene. Keep still a moment. 

Betty. It's better now. {Tries to withdraw.) 

Eugene (holding her). Dear Betty ! 

Betty. I am so much obliged to you. 

Eugene (earnestly). You are an angel ! 

Betty (smiling). So my husband says. I wonder how long 
he will say so ? 

Eugene. Forever ! You can never be otherwise. 

Betty. A few years more and wrinkles come. 
'; Eugene. You can kiss them away. (Tries to Tciss her.) 

Betty (slipping aivay). What's the meaning of that, Mr. 
Woman-hater ? 

Eugene. Oh, let that be ! I was a fool ! I will forswear my 
folly, if you will only help me. 

Betty. I ? 

Eugene. Be friends with me ; give me your assistance. 



THE PHILOPENA. 115 

Betty. With great pleasure. 

Eugene. I will do everything you tell me to. 

Betty. You will be cheerful ¥ 

Eugene. Yes. 

Betty. Obliging ? 

Eugene. Yes, yes. 

Betty. Never hate women any more ? 

Eugene. No, no. 

Betty. Now I will try you. 

Eugene. So our compact is settled ? 

Betty (giving her hand). There's my hand on it 

Eugene. Seal it. 

Betty. What with ? 

Eugene. With one kiss. 

Betty. Go along with you. 

Eugene. A pledge of friendship. 

Betty. It would be nothing of the kind. 

Eugene. An honorable kiss. 

Betty. If my husband — 

Eugene. He is my friend ; his wife must be my friend also. 
(Takes her hand.) 

Betty. You know how jealous he is. 

Eugene {more urgently). Let me make a third in your home 
circle. 

Betty. But, Mr. Eugene — 

Eugene. Oh ! Please— please do ! (Takes hold of her and 
kisses her.) 

Betty. Ah! {Screams.) 

Eugene (relinquishing her). What is it? 

Betty. My husband. 

Eugene. Where? 

Betty. Coming up the garden walk. 

Eugene (looking through the window), He walks quickly. 

Betty (sobbing). He saw everything. 

Eugene. Impossible, from that distance. 

Betty. He has eyes like a hawk. 

Eugene. Well ! What if he did see it ? 

Betty. He is so jealous ! 

Eugene. There was nothing so terrible in it- 



116 THE PHILOPENA. 

Betty. Ton kissed me. 

Eugene. And if I did — 

Betty. You do not know him ; he will be furious. 

Eugene {anxiously). Good heavens ! 

Betty. What a trouble — what a difficulty you've got me into ! 

Eugene. Calm yourself. 

Betty. He will read it plainly in my face. 

Eugene. I had better go away. 

Betty. You will run right into his clutches. 

Eugene. "What shall I do, then ? 

Betty. Conceal yourself. 

Eugene. "Where? 

Betty. Oh, please— quick. 

Eugene. That will look as if— 

Betty. Only till his first passion is over. Oh, do — pray ! 

Eugene. "Where, then? (Goes toward left.) 

Betty. Not there ! That's my. dressing-room ! 

Eugene. Here, then ! {Goes right.) 

Betty. Oh, don't go there ; that's our bed-room ! 

Eugene. Good gracious ! Where can I go ? 

Betty. Creep under the table. 

Eugene. Under the table ? No ; that's too — 

Betty. My dearest, best friend ! 

Eugene. You may do with me as you will. {Creeps under 
table.) 

Betty {covering him with the table-cloth). Now keep perfectly 
quiet. (Aside). Aha, Mr. Woman-hater, I've humbled you a 
little ! Now we will frighten you a little bit. I am only treating 
him too mercifully. (Goes to door, right, and takes out the key, 
seats herself at table, left, and covers her eyes with her handker- 
chief.) (Enter George.) 

George. See ; I am back again. All alone ? I thought 
Eugene was here. Is he gone ? Did you speak to him ? What's 
the matter? You do not answer me. (Betty shakes her head 
and sobs violently. ) What can be the matter with you ? You are 
crying. Betty, do not keep me in suspense. (Betty throws her 
arms around his neck, and buries her face in his bosom.) Dearest 
wife, what has happened ? Tell me. 

Betty (sobbing), I cannot, 



THE PHILOPENA. 117 

George. It must be something terrible. Has any accident 
happened ? 

Betty. No ; I cannot— yet I onght not to conceal it from yon. 
My duty to you is first of all. 

George. Betty ! 

Betty. Tour friend, who pretends to hate women — 

George. Well! 

Betty. Is a deceiver ! 

Eugene (putting out his head). Oh, the serpent ! 

George. I cannot understand — 

Betty. I was attentive to him, as you desired. (Still sobbing.) 
At first he was harsh and repulsive in his manner — 

George (earnestly). And — 

Betty. Then he got more and more friendly — 

George (excitedly). What next ? 

Betty. At last he wanted to kiss me. 

Eugene. Oh, the hypocrite ! 

George. Kiss you ? 

Betty. I repulsed him — 

George. And he — 

Betty. Kissed me in spite of my struggles to resist him. 

George. Ten thousand fiends. 

Betty. You were coming through the garden — 

George. Where did he go $ 

Betty (throwing her arms round his neck). Don't kill him ! 

George. Then he's here still ! Where is he ? 

Betty. He besought me to say nothing to you about it, and 
ran into your bed-room. (Eugene tries to escape, but cannot). 
In my confusion, the key of the door came out into my hand. 

George. He shall answer to me for it ! 

Betty. Dear George ! 

George. To betray me— his friend ! 

Betty. Calm yourself. 

George. Give me the key. 

Betty. You are so fearfully excited. (Aside.) Now for the, 
philopena. 

George. Oh, HI be as cool as ten thousand cucumbers ! The 
key! 

Betty. You are running headlong into misfortune, 



118 THE PHILOPENA. 

George. The key ! (Betty hands him the Jcey. Georqb 
rushes to the door, and puts the key in the lock.) 

Betty. Philopena! (George, astounded, stops instantly. 
Betty dances around, in high glee.) I've won it; I've wod it. 
Philopena ! (George looks at her doubtingly, opens the bed-room 
door, glances around, but sees no one.) "Who said he would never 
be jealous again ? 

George. Yes, but this way — 

Betty. Who was sure he would not lose his philopena ? 

George. You snake! 

Eugene. A double-header ! 

Betty. Didn't you oblige me to resort to cunning to win it ? 

George. And Eugene ? 

Betty. Is a perfect fool. 

Eugene. She's right. 

George. I'm another, for my jealousy. 

Betty. Right again. 

George. And the philopena lost ! You killed two birds with 
one stone. 

Betty (striking the table). No, three. 

George. How's that 1 

Betty. Your philopena lost ! 

George. One. 

Betty. Your bet lost ! 

George. Two. 

Betty. I'll tell you the other when you catch me. (Buns off. 
George exit after her.) 

Eugene (appearing from under the table). iNow's my time to 
get away. Phew ! Did you ever see such a woman in your life ? 
Poor George, she'll make it hot for him ! ( Walks up and down 
excitedly.) "Women, indeed ! A bad lot! But this Betty is the 
worst I ever came near. Confound all Bettys ! (Sarcastically.) 
So sympathizing ! So kind ! Wheedling and coaxing a fellow 
into making a perfect ass of himself—and all for what ? Just to 
win a miserable philopena ! The mean, heartless — (Starting.) 
Ha! Somebody's coming. (Hurries off , left.) 
(Curtain.) 



PAKLOR PANTOMIME. 119 

PARLOR PANTOMIME. 

This consists of a dramatic performance in dumb show, 
and is rarely attempted by amateurs unless they have be- 
come tolerably familiar with stage " business," or have the 
advantage of a manager who thoroughly understands it. 
It partakes considerably of the nature of a burlesque j 
and in order to render it intelligible to the audience, 
there is a certain amount of exaggeration requisite in the 
actions of the performers, a caricature of natural gestures, 
which distinguishes the parlor pantomime from other 
dramatic performances. The costumes and u make up * 
are more grotesque than natural, and the scenery needs to 
be more carefully prepared and set than in comedies, etc. j 
the music, also, must be very appropriate, the orchestra 
and performers working together to keep the interest of 
the piece from flagging. The directions given on page 63 
for pantomimic actions are equally applicable here, but 
perhaps a few additional instructions will be necessary. 

L»0V8 is described by pointing at the object, and press- 
ing both hands on the heart with a languishing expression 
of countenance, followed by stretching both arms tenderly 
towards the object. 

Pity looks down on the object pitied, with uplifted 
hands, and a mixed expression of love and grief. 

Calling a person not on the stage is performed by 
advancing to the part of the stage designated, facing offj 
making three measured claps of the right hand on the left; 
then drawing the body up haughtily with the arms folded, 
as if in expectation. If the person called is present, the 
caller approaches him, touches him grandly on the 
shoulder, beckons him, retires a step, and awaits his 
advance. 

Trying to Recollect something is done by bending 



120 PARLOR PANTOMIME. 

the head down and thoughtfully tapping the forehead with 
the forefinger of the arm furthest from the audience; 
gently shaking the head from side to side. 

Recollection, following this effort, is expressed hy 
raising the same forefinger upward, with a sudden gleam 
of intelligence on the countenance, and a quick nodding 
of the head two or three times in succession. * 

A Demand for Money is made by stamping twice 
with the right foot, slightly extended forward ; at the same 
time striking the back of the right fingers on the palm of 
the left hand, extended forward and palm upward. 

Payment of Money is performed by thrusting the 
left hand into the pocket, withdrawing it apparently full 
of coins, and transferring them, one at a time, with the 
thumb and forefinger of the right hand, to the right hand 
of the receiver, extended palm upwards for the purpose. 
When the necessary number has been transferred, the 
player returns the (apparent) balance to his pocket, places 
his left hand under the receiver's right, and with his right 
hand folds the receivers fingers carefully over, so as to 
secure the imaginary coins in his hand. 

In Striking a person in the face, the sound of the 
blow is made by the person attacked striking his hands 
together very quickly, turning away as if endeavoring to 
avoid the blow, but really to conceal the motion of his 
hands. 

Thanks are rendered with a graceful bow, and a 
downward sweep of the right hand, palm upward. 

The plot of a pantomime, in order to be clearly com- 
prehended by the audience, must necessarily be of the 
simplest kind. The success of the piece, therefore, entirely 
depends on rapidity of action and unflagging excitement, 
gradually increasing in degree as the climax is approached. 



LOVE mSTDEK OBSTACLES. 121 

The remarks on Stage Management On page 69 are 
applicable in this place. 

The selection of a Pantomime for parlor performance' is 
by no means an easy matter. The pieces usually met 
with are written for professional actors, and are full of 
difficulty for the amateur performer, who is not supposed 
to have as much knowledge of stage routine. The follow- 
ing Pantomime has been prepared to obviate these objec- 
tions as far as possible, introducing only such actions or 
situations as are entirely within the capabilities of a parlor 
comedian. 

LOYB TINDER OBSTACLES ; OR, JACK'S TRIUMPH. 

Characters. 

Peter — An old country gentleman. 

Janet — His wife, a fine old lady, 

Kate — Their lovely daughter. 

Albert — A rich fop — Kate's nnenconraged suitor. 

Jack — A rollicking sailor — Kate's decided preference. 

Nelly — Kate's nice little maid. 

Yillagers — Male and female. 

Costumes. 

Peter. — Loose swallow-tail coat; long vest with flaps over the 
pockets; knee breeches; shoes with large buckles; frilled shirt 
bosom ; wide tum-down collar, with lace necktie and ends ; gray 
wig and broad-brimmed, low-crowned hat. 

Janet. — Showy gown; small white lace spencer; lace ruffles 
round her wrists; gray wig; targe spectacles; very high-heeled 
shoes with buckles ; black lace half mittens, and a crutch stick. 

Kate. — Handsome Dolly- varden suit, low necked, short sleeves ; 
neat high-heeled shoes, and hair in ringlets. 

Albert. — Close fitting swallow tail coat; tight black panta- 
loons ; extravagant vest ; patent leather shoes ; elaborately frilled' 
shirt front and wristbands ; hair parted in the middle, Dundreary 
whiskers, and large eyeglass. 

Jack. — Regular sailor's costume. His disguises loosely made 
for quick changing* 



122 LOVE TJ2TDER OBSTACLES. 

Nelly. — Complete Dolly- varden costume, high necked, long 
sleeves, short skirts; striped stockings; neat shoes, and neat little 
lace cap on head. 

Properties. — Miniature in frame; stick for Janet; several 
dresses; basket with cotton-lace edgings, etc.; pair of foils (if 
needed) ; bottle with a cork in it ; two chairs ; tray, with a loaf of 
bread and a tin cup on it; sack; club; wedding ring; two bags of 
money marked $1,000; a head, stuffed, and made to look as like 
Jack's head as possible. 

Scene. 

On left side the porch of a country house. Right, trees, etc. 
Back, a landscape ; right of centre door, a large barrel or hogs- 
head, with lid. 

Kate is discovered sitting on a stool near house door, looking 
at a miniature, and weeping. Wrings out pocket-handkerchief, 
as though saturated with tears. Throws it off stage, and takes 
out a clean one ; same repeated. 

Albert enters {centre door) ; advances to Kate; takes minia- 
ture, starts with surprise ; points at it ; goes through motions of 
hauling ropes, and dances first steps of sailor's hornpipe ; points 
again at miniature, then at Kate, shaking his head (a sailor is not 
fit for her). Kneels on one knee, to comfort her. 

Kate impatiently motions him off, snatching the miniature 
from his hand. 

Albert retires, despondingly. {Exit Albert, right. A whistle 
is heard back.) 

Kate starts ; looks back ; gets up, clapping ner hands. 
(Enter Jack, centre door.) 

Jack runs up to Kate. They embrace, and walk up and down, 
conversing. 

(Enter Janet, from house.) 

Janet (hobbling with stick). Sees Jack and Kate ; holds up 
both arms in astonishment, and turns to go into house. 
(Enter Peter, from house.) 

Peter rushes out of house, knocking Janet over: hobbles up to 
Jack, whom he swings roughly away from Kate, threatening her, 
and driving him away. 

Janet gets slowly up, and enters house, (Exit Janet. ) 



LOVE UNDER OBSTACLES. 123 

KATE implores Peter's pardon, and extends her hand to Jack. 

Peter drives Jack off {centre door), threatening hira with his 
stick; then leads Kate into house. {.Exit Kate.) Walks up and 
uovn stage, gesticulating fiercely. 

{Enter Albert, right.) 

Peter sees Albert; welcomes him cordially, shakes hands with 
him, pats him on back, and leads him towards house. 
{Enter Kate, from house.) 

Albert advances joyfully to meet her; tells her he loves her 
with all his soul. 

Kate despondingly shakes her head, and sighs. 

Albert calls Peter ; points to Kate's dress. 

Peter nods ; calls Eelly from house. 

{Enter I^elly, from house.) 

Albert leads ]S T elly to Kate; points at Kate's dress; then 
motions off right to fetch a milliner. 

[Nelly goes to right, and claps her hands, etc. ; calling. 
(Enter Jack, disguised as a milliner, with several dresses on 
his arm.) 

Peter comes to milliner, and leads her to Kate. 

Kate refuses to look at the dresses ; does not want any. 

Peter insists ; leads milliner and Kate right ; leaves them there 
and returns to Albert, with whom he converses. 

Milliner shows Kate the dresses, trying in vain to get her at- 
tention ; at last he lifts his bonnet and curled wig, and is recog- 
nized by Kate. 

Kate seizes him with both hands ; looks carefully through the 
dresses, dropping them one after the other on the floor, and con- 
verses with Jack ; at last embraces him. 

Albert looks towards them ; sees them embracing; points out 
the fact to Peter ; hastens towards the milliner, unobserved by the 
latter; pulls off Jack's bonnet and wig, and discovers Jack. 

Peter hobbles quickly up to Kate ; threatens her and Jack. 

Jack escapes off right, shaking his fist at Albert. {Exit Jack.) 

Peter drags Kate into house, followed by Albert. Kate resists, 
but ineffectually. {Exeunt all. ) 

(Enter Jack, disguised as a Peddler, with a basket full of trim- 
mings, etc) 



124 LOVE UNDEE OBSTACLES. 

Peddler looks around ; sees house ; goes towards it, and 
knocks at door. 

(Enter Nelly, from house.) 

Peddler points at his basket ; shows Nelly his goods. 

Nelly admires his wares ; runs inside the house ; brings out 
Peter and Kate, and shows the basket. 

Peter signs to Kate to take what she likes ; goes round behind 
the Peddler (who is showing his goods to Kate), and looks over 
his shoulder at the basket. 

Peddler suddenly gets up, upsetting Peter, backwards. 

Peter gets up, with Nelly's assistance, and knocks Peddler 
down with his stick. 

Peddler falls with his feet in the air, showing his sailor's pan- 
taloons on. Gets up quickly. 

Peter chases Jack with his stick. 

Jack defends himself, and a scuffle ensues between them. 
(Enter Albert, from house.) 

Albert rushes to help Peter ; stumbles over the basket, and 
runs head first into Peter, doubling him up, and throwing him 
down. Then attacks Jack, who disencumbers himself of his 
milliner's dress, and a grand combat takes place ; meanwhile 

Peter picks himself up, rubs his back, shows signs of great 
rage, and pushes Kate and Nelly into the house, following them 
and shutting the door. (Exeunt Peter, Nelly and Kate.) 

Jack continues his combat with Albert with varied success, 
until both make a final dash at each other, miss, and fall, unable 
to get up again from sheer fatigue. They make futile attempts 
to strike each other ; at last both blow at one another, and fall 
back exhausted. Jack then crawls off. (Exit Jack, right.) 

(Enter Nelly, from house.) 

Nelly looks round ; takes the basket, etc., and puts it inside 
the house door. Then sees Albert ; goes to him ; raises his head 
on her knee, and fans him. 

Albert soon opens his eyes, sits up, and asks for wine to 
drink. 

Nelly runs to the house, and returns with a bottle. 

Albert drinks ; rubs his back and stomach with the bottle ; 
drinks again ; gets up, and drinks again. 



LOVE UNDER OBSTACLES. 125 

(Enter Janet, from house.) 

Albert, half intoxicated, reels round, and hits Janet on head 
with the bottle, knocking her down. 

Nelly goes quickly, and helps Janet up again. 

Albert apologizes profusely to Janet, and assists her to a seat, 
and exits, right. 

(Enter Jack, disguised as an old woman, dent nearly double, and 
hobbling with a stick.) 

Jack goes up to Janet, and desires something to eat. 

Janet sends jSTelly into house for food ; leads beggar woman to 
chair, telling her to sit down. 

(Enter Kate.) 

Kate comes in with tray of food and drink. Offers it to old 
beggar woman. 

Jack puts his hands on Kate's head and blesses her, at the 
same time discovering himself to her. 

Kate drops the tray in surprise,, but recovers her composure 
quickly ; picks up the bread, bottle, etc., replacing it on tray j 
gives it to Jack, and kneels down by his side. 

Jack eats, and makes love to Kate. 

Janet meanwhile drops off to sleep on a chair. 
(Enter Nelly, from house.) 

Nelly comes hurriedly ; sees Kate and Jack ; from their actions 
she guesses it is Jack ; goes to them and tells them that Peter is 
coming. 

Jack jumps up with a start, knocking the tray out of Kate's 
hands. The noise wakens Janet, and general confusion. 

Nelly runs off right, and returns with a sack ; puts Jack into 
it asd lays it near the house door. She and Janet then run into 
the house. (Exeunt Nelly and Janet.) 

(Enter Peter, from house.) 

Peter comes out to see what is the matter; trips over the sack, 
receiving a blow on the back from Jack as he falls. He gets up, 
rubs his back ; sees the bottle ; picks it up ; takes out the cork 
and drinks ; rubs his stomach and drinks again, repeating until 
the bottle is empty. Getting rather intoxicated, he turns and 
sees the sack ; staggers to it, and tries to sit on it ; the sack rolls 
away, and he comes down heavily on the ground. Gets up, 



126 LOVE UNDER OBSTACLES. 

shaking his head, and measures distance from his feet to the sack, 
so as to sit down on it this time, sure ; the sack rolls over again, 
and he falls as before. Angry, out of patience and sleepy, he 
lays his head on sack, which rolls away, and lets his head fall 
with a bump. He falls asleep. 

Jack cautiously puts his head out of sack ; looks around ; 
sees Peter asleep, and the coast clear ; crawls out of sack, and 
throws off his disguise. 

{Enter Albert, right.) 

Albert sees Jack ; rushes at him, and tries to drag him off, 
right. 

Peter wakes up, sees them struggling, and hastens to help 
Albert. They overpower Jack, and force him into hogshead at 
back of stage, and shut down the cover. 

Albert seats himself on hogshead, to keep Jack secure. 

Peter goes off right, and returns with a club. 

Albert gets off, and signs to Peter to kill Jack with the club. 
They both wait, watching the hogshead, one on each side, behind 
it. 

Jack lifts the lid slowly, puts his head out, and looking round, 
sees Peter with club. Draws in his head, just avoiding a terrible 
blow from the club. Same repeated twice. 

Peter is annoyed at missing him three times, and says to Albert 
that nest time he will not miss. 

Jack again lifts the lid very cautiously, thrusting out a dummy 
head {exactly like him), which is crushed by Peter's club, and in- 
stantly drawn in again by Jack. 

{Enter Villagers, just in time to see the last effectual blow.) 

Villagers surround Peter and Albert, and threaten them. 
Two or three seize and hold Peter and Albert, while the others 
turn the hogshead over and drag Jack out, limp and powerless, 
apparently nearly killed, and group around him. 
{Enter Kate, from house.) 

Kate runs in distracted; pushes Villagers aside, and takes 
Jack's head in her arms ; feels his pulse and heart ; motions one 
of the Villagers, who runs off right, and returns with a tin cup 
of water. She takes it and moistens his forehead ; binds his head 
with her handkerchief j gives him to a Villager ; goes to Peter ; 



LOVE UNDER OBSTACLES, 127 

■colds him violently ; shows him wedding-ring, and insists on 
marrying Jack at once, before he dies. 

Peter is furious, and won't listen to her. 
(Meanwhile the Villagers are holding a consultation, some of 

them pointing to Peter and Albert, shaking their fists; others 

pitying Jack.) 

Kate leaves Peter, and goes towards Jack. 

Jack explains to Kate that he is not hurt ; shows her the 
dummy-head, which he has hidden under his jacket. 

Kate goes among the Villagers, and explains what she has 
just been told ; tells them to go to Peter and Albert, and make 
them give money. 

(Two Villagers separate from the rest, approach Peter and Al- 
bert, and demand money — much money — or they will hang 

Mm. After a time spent in vain resistance 

Peter pulls out of his pocket a large bag of money. 

Albert does the same. 
(The two Villagers take the money, and lay it on Jack's body, 

and carry him carefully off, right.) 

Kate watches the Villagers, and follows them off, right. 
(Exeunt Kate and Villagers.) 

Albert touches Peter on shoulder; points at him, and signs 
that he killed Jack, and will be hanged. 

Peter shakes his head, and says the same back to Albert. 

Albert is indignant, and tries to strike Peter, but is prevented 
by the Villagers who have them in custody. 
(Enter Villagers right, dancing; headed by Jack and Kate.) 

Jack leads Kate to Peter ; shows Kate's left hand with the ring 
on it, to show they are married ; also shows him the two bags of 
money, which he puts in his pocket. He and Kate kneel down 
for Peter's blessing. 

Albert tries to attack Jack, but is held back by his keepers. 

Peter shakes his fist at Jack and Kate. Tells them they may 
go ; won't have anything more to do with them. 

Jack, jumps up ; snaps his fingers in Peter's face; takes Kate 
round the waist, and joins the rest in their dance. 
(Enter Janet, from house.) 

Janet sees the dancing; and Kate and Jack together. Looks at 



128 SHADOW PANTOMIME. 

Kate's wedding-ring; at first astonished ; goes to Peter and en- 
treats him to come to Kate. After much hesitation 

Peter hobbles up to Kate and Jack, joins their hands, and 
blesses them. 

Tableau, icith Villagers in background. 
{Curtain.) 

The combat between Jack and Albert, on page 124, may- 
be made highly melodramatic in its details, and rendered 
very effective if well performed. If the skill of the actors 
will allow it, the battle may be fonght with short swords, 
the regular, harmless stage articles, of course; but this 
will require practice, and more thorough rehearsal than 
when using merely nature's weapons. 

The only action that may need some explanation is on 
page 126, where Peter has to tell Albert that he has missed 
his mark three times, but will not fail in the fourth attempt. 
To make this plain, the following action is suggested for 
Peter's guidance : Strike the head of the barrel once with 
the club, hold up one finger, and shake the head in disap- 
pointment ; repeat a second and third time, holding up two 
and three fingers respectively. Then take the club in the 
left hand, and shake the right fist, clenched in a deter- 
mined manner ; seize the club with the right hand firmly, 
strike a fourth blow, hold up four fingers, and nod repeat- 
edly to Albert with a smile of satisfaction. When this 
action is finished, a gentle tap with the foot against the 
barrel will give Jack the " cue " to expose the dummy -head, 
etc. The rest of the play is very easy, and, if well acted, 
will be fully as effective as a more elaborate performance. 

SHADOW PANTOMIME. 

This very amusing and easily arranged performance 
serves so well for an interlude or after piece, that it would 
be well for an amateur stage to be fitted up with the neces- 
sary fixtures for it. There are quite a number of acta 



SHADOW PANTOMIME. 129 

written for this purpose, but they generally contain more 
or less directions for performance that are nearly, if not 
quite, practically impossible. 

The instructions and specimen act here given, if care- 
fully followed in every detail, will be found easy of accom- 
plishment, and result in entire success ; and will also serve 
as an example of the manner in which various effects and 
illusions may be produced on the shadow-curtain ; so that 
any one, with a moderate degree of invention and ingenu- 
ity, will be able to multiply the effects and produce a great 
variety of illusions. 

It would be well, however, to bear in mind that it is far 
more effective to undertake only what can be well and 
thoroughly accomplished, than to attempt too much and 
perform it indifferently. Every movement should be done 
with deliberate precision, and nothing attempted hastily 
and imperfectly. 

T.he Curtain. — The first thing to provide is a curtain 
of white muslin, not too thick, but of substance enough to 
allow no rays of light to pass between the threads. The 
seams must be made with a very narrow margin, with 
close and tightly-drawn stitches, and the number of the 
seams reduced as much as possible by using the widest 
muslin that can be obtained. Sheeting can be bought as 
much as two and a half yards wide, so that a curtain fifteen 
feet wide need have but one seam. The size of the curtain 
will depend on the place of exhibition ; in a parlor the 
space between the folding or sliding-doors affords a good 
place for it. A surface of six or eight feet wide, and eight 
or ten high, forms a curtain which will answer for small 
performers ; but for full-grown persons it should be larger ; 
and, where available, an area of twelve feet square will not 
be any too large. 

The size of the curtain having been fixed upon, and the 
seams sewn, provide a frame a little larger each way than 



130 SHADOW PANTOMIME. 

the opening to be covered. Secure the curtain to the frame 
with tacks, stretching it sufficiently to take out all folds 
and creases, and fasten the frame firmly against the casing 
of the door ; this arrangement makes a neater appearance 
than making the frame to fit inside the door-casing. 
Another plan, better suited for a regular stage, is to stretch 
the top and bottom of the white curtain to two strong 
strips of wood, the lower one being secured to the stage by 
clamps or thumb-screws, and the upper one drawn up tight 
by cords passing over pulleys fixed to the inside of the 
proscenium. When not in use the curtain can be rolled 
up and put away. 

Just before the commencement of the performance the 
curtain may be wet evenly with a sponge and clean water ; 
this renders the shadows much sharper and more distinct, 
and cannot well be dispensed with if the material of the 
curtain be thick. 

The Light. — The selection and management of the 
light are matters of the highest importance. Whatever 
kind of fight be used, it is necessary to have a bright and 
steady flame— a large, dull, or flickering light being utterly 
useless. Where gas is burned in the room a flat-flame 
burner may be fitted to a stand placed on the floor, and 
arranged so that the gas-flame is not more than two or 
three inches from the ground ; in fact, the lower the better. 
The stand can be connected with the nearest gas-fixture 
in the room by means of a flexible tube. In parlors where 
there is no gas the best substitute is a low, flat, tin kero- 
sene-lamp, similar to those used in the street- cars ; a glass 
lamp would involve too much risk of breakage and conse- 
quent danger of fire. The edge of the flame should be 
presented toward the curtain, as a flat flame, especially if 
it be a wide one, will make the outline of the shadows on 
the curtain less distinctly defined. 

The position of the fight is the next point which claims 



SHADOW PANTOMIME. 131 

attention. About six feet behind the centre of the curtain 
place a stool or box, whose height is sufficient to clear the 
top of the lamp. This is intended to protect the lamp and 
affords a convenient footing for stepping over the light ; it 
should, theiefore, stand firmly, or else be secured to the 
floor. Just in front of this step the lamp is to be placed ; 
and, for convenient reference hereafter, we will call this the 
" first position." 

Three or four feet behind the footstool, and in a fine with 
the centre of the curtain, place another box about two 
and a half feet high, to serve as a stand for the light when 
needed. This will constitute the " second position" of 
the fight, and will be used when an act is being per- 
formed in which there is no need for stepping over the 
light. In such cases the light in the second position throws 
shadows more natural, and less distorted in their propor- 
tions, than when used in the first position. 

The lamp must be managed by a person who gives his 
undivided attention to the performance ; he should under- 
stand thoroughly what is going to be played, and thus be 
able to give all the necessary stage- directions to the play- 
ers, who should follow his orders implicitly. No perform- 
ance can be successful without a competent stage manager, 
and, least of all, a shadow pantomine. In transferring the 
lamp from one position to the other, it mnst be done very 
gradually, or the effect on the shadows caused by its 
change of place will be too apparent, and this must never 
be attempted without previous practice; in fact, no part 
of a performance can be made entirely successful in its 
effects without very careful and frequent rehearsal. Col- 
ored light may be thrown on the curtain by holding a strip 
of colored glass close before the light. Glass of a light color 
only must be used, and perfectly clean ; dark colors deaden 
the light too much. During a performance the shadow- 
light must be the only one allowed to be burning ; all others, 



132 SHADOW PANTOMIME. 

both behind the curtain and among the audience, must be 
entirely extinguished. 

Where it is not convenient to arrange a drop-curtain, the 
light must be masked before the performance commences 
and at its close. A small box, or even a large book, placed 
close in front of the light, will answer, provided it be large 
enough to shade the entire curtain. 

The means employed and the effects produced, in a 
shadow pantomime, are so entirely different from those of 
a stage performance, that a few general directions are in- 
dispensable : 

Position of the Body.— The side of the head must 
always be presented to the curtain, as the profile is the 
only shadow that is effective ; even when the rest of a per- 
former's body is fronting the curtain, the head should be 
turned to one side or the other, so as to show its profile. 
He must never attempt to look at his shadow ; this throws 
the face at once out of profile ; during rehearsal only is this 
allowed. 

When a performer is standing side to the curtain, especi- 
ally with the light in the first position, he must be very 
careful how he manages the shoulder furthest from the 
curtain ; unless he keeps both his shoulders exactly in a 
line with the light his shadow will be an astonishing one. 
A single trial will show how easy it is for a person to ap- 
pear with a projection on his breast, or a hump on his 
back, as the case may be ; and this is not always desirable. 
Everything should be done as near to the curtain as prac- 
ticable without touching it j always bearing in mind that, at 
a distance of two feet from the curtain, the shadow of a 
person five feet high will be all of seven feet six inches, 
and would be rather more prominent than pleasing. When 
both arms are brought forward into shadow they must be 
held near together, and in such position relatively that 
the shadow of the one is not eclipsed by that of the other. 



SHADOW PANTOMIME. 133 

If the arms are held wide apart the shadow of the one 
nearest the light will be greatly the larger. The same 
may be said of any articles or objects held in the hands ; 
in order to bring them into shadow the hand must always 
be above or below the object held. 

Action. — All movements must be well tested by re- 
hearsal, as their effects on the shadow-curtain are often 
widely different from what we might be led to expect. If 
a performer wish, for instance, to scratch his head, it must 
be done with the arm well curved to the front; in any 
other position the whole of the arm and much of the hand 
will be obscured by the shadow of the body and head. 
All motions must be made parallel with the curtain, or their 
effect is indistinct or entirely lost. Turning round must be 
done quickly and neatly, with an exact and complete re- 
verse of profile. In passing one another (a thing which 
should be seldom done) performers should accomplish the 
movement close together, and rapidly, so as to prevent 
their shadows from getting mixed. When stepping over 
the light, either toward or from the curtain, it must be 
done sideways, presenting the profile to the light, and with 
a long stride, so as to step down close to the curtain, if 
going on, or clear on to the footstool, if going off. Any 
halting midway between the curtain and the light will 
leave only the lower half of the body in shadow, and of 
colossal proportions ; entrance or exit over the fight should 
not be too often repeated, but confined to a performer's 
first appearance or final exit, or some other occasion when 
it may be done with good effect. 

There are very few persons, comparatively speaking, who 
are gifted with a talent for pantomime. Performers on the 
stage having considerable command over their features, 
and a fair routine knowledge of mimic action, often fail to 
express their meaning accurately. How much more diffi- 
cult must it be, then, to convey an idea by a shadow only; 
in fact, to make your shadow speak, In a shadow the ex- 



134 SHADOW PANTOMIME. 

pression of the eye is lost j the working or play of the fea- 
tures is imperceptible ; the only really movable portion of 
the face is the lower jaw, affording the means of opening 
or closing the mouth. 

As the facilities for emotional expression are so limited, 
it follows that a shadow pantomime must depend entirely 
for success on a rapid succession of thrilling and ludicrous 
situations, all so exaggerated as to be unmistakable in 
their meaning. 

Whenever any short dialogue or interchange of ideas 
occurs between two performers, there is no other way to 
make it plain to the audience than to put your few remarks 
into words, repeat them silently in your own mind, and 
accompany them with thoroughly appropriate but greatly 
exaggerated action. This is really the secret of all suc- 
cessful pantomimists. Two parties, when in apparent 
conversation, should be careful to speak one at a time, as 
it were ; that is, not to act both at once, but each wait for 
the other to finish what he is about, and then reply to it. 
Hence, the part each performer has to assume must be as 
thoroughly studied beforehand as though it were a stage- 
comedy ; and the manager be always ready to prompt (in a 
low whisper) when the actor is at fault j this, of course, 
requires perfect order and quiet behind the curtain. Noth- 
ing should be done in a hurry, but, on the contrary, with 
the greatest deliberation ; unless every action is distinctly 
and completely performed the whole thing degenerates into 
a confused jumble, utterly unintelligible to the audience. 

Scenery .—The scenery used is of the simplest descrip- 
tion, being cut out of stout paper and pinned, or otherwise 
fastened, to the curtain. Common wooden chairs will cast 
as good a shadow as if made of the finest rosewood, and 
will not be injured by rough handling. In cases where a 
table is needed for performance, it should consist of a strip 
of board, of length limited to a proper proportion to the 
size of the curtain, and not more than, say, nine inches 



SHADOW PANTOMIME. 135 

wide ; nail it upon four strips of wood to serve as legs, and, 
when in stage use, place it close to, not touching, the 
curtain. Small articles must be put down on the edge of 
the table nearest the light, or they will not come fully iuto 
shadow. 

Properties. — Articles to be used in a performance 
should be laid down on the floor or on a table, in exactly 
the order in which they will be required, within easy reach 
of the manager, and under his sole control. No person 
whatever should be allowed behind the curtain but those 
who are actually performing ; and the performers, when not 
acting, must be provided with seats entirely out of the way 
of those who are acting, and remain seated, except when 
called by the manager. 

Whenever a chair or any article of furniture is needed 
casually in a performance, it should be handed over the 
light by the manager, high up, and as near the curtain as 
he can reach without bringing it prematurely into shadow, 
holding it steady for one of the performers to grasp it by 
the leg and lift it down to the floor close to the curtain. 
As seen by the audience, the hand of the performer passes 
up out of sight, and fetches the chair, or table, as the case 
may be, down from the ceiling. The article may be passed 
off in the same manner by reversing the proceeding. All 
small objects, such as fishes, birds, mallets, kettles, etc., 
are cut out of paste-board, and always held parallel with 
the curtain. To make a false nose, cut a piece of paste- 
board to the required shape, and split open the back edge 
sufficiently to allow the real nose to be inserted ; it can be 
fixed securely, either by strings attached to each side and 
tied behind the head, or by gumming on with adhesive 
plaster. The latter plan is the best, as it admits of the 
nose being apparently pulled off; and a handful of sawdust 
will make a good substitute for the consequent flow of blood. 

Costumes. — These can be made of any old stuff, and 
trimmed, when needed, with paper. Costumes should be 



136 THE FEEJEE ISLANDERS AT HOME. 

close-fitting, so as not to interfere with the shadow of the 
performer's limbs. 

Stage Directions.— The terms " right," "left," 
etc., are used in their theatrical sense, as explained on 
page 66. 

In the following acts the stage action is given in as few 
words as possible, the stage directions being in italics, be- 
tween parentheses. 

THE FEEJEE ISLANDERS AT HOME. 
Characters. 
Kameha — King of the Cannibal Islands. 
Ochee — Kameha's son, a prince of the blood royal, and Commis- 
sary-general of the tribe. 
An Infant Feejee— A two-year-old native. 
Sleek — A missionary, short, fat and sleek. 

Costumes. 

Kameha. — In tights, with short skirt reaching just above the 
knee. Woolly head, and three feathers stuck upright on back 
of head. Projecting nose, with ring hanging from it. "Woolly 
beard on chin. 

Ochee. — Also in tights and short skirt; nose and ring having a 
strong family likeness. ISTo feathers on his head. 

Sleek. — Tight-fitting tail-coat and pantaloons. Stove-pipe hat. 
Exaggerated clerical (paper) lappels to his shirt-collar. Closely 
fitting scalp covering his hair, and a decent wig over the scalp. 

An Infant Peejee— In tights altogether, and tight-fitting scalp. 

The costumes will require but little trouble to prepare. The 
tights may consist of ordinary merino elastic under-shirts and 
drawers and stockings. A horse-hair wig, such as is used by 
negro minstrels, if at hand, is the very thing, but it may be made 
of cotton-wool sewed into a tight-fitting muslin skull-cap, or 
even on the elastic cotton caps used by skaters and bathers. If 
possible, however, a trick-wig should be obtained for Kameha, 
which allows of the hair on the top of the head being pulled up- 
right by means of a string ; this is very effective. The savage's 
feathers and Sleek's collars are made of stout paper. 

A rag figure resembling Sleek should be prepared; the head, 



THE FEEJEE ISLANDERS AT HOME. A 37 

arms and legs being sewn on in such a manner that thej ii hold 
together, but allow of being easily separated. 

Properties. — Umbrella; book ; bow and arrow (of rattan); 
tomahawk; butcher-knife; saw; fan; egg; chicken; another 
chicken, with an arrow stuck through it. 

Scene. 

On right side, the entrance to a hut. On left side, a large pot 
hanging between poles. 

The hut is made of stout paper, and should not take up an inch 
more of the width of the curtain than is necessary to show the 
entrance ; this latter is cut out of the paper and covered with thin 
tissue-paper, which must be oiled if not sufficiently translucent. 
The entrance should appear only a little darker than the light 
part of the curtain. The height of the hut may be five feet, and 
the entrance four feet ; on a large curtain, these proportions may 
be suitably increased. 

The pot or kettle is also made of thick paper, with a wire 
handle, and suspended by a stout cord from the two sticks which 
serve for poles. These are fastened at top, and secured against 
the frame of the curtain in such a position that the kettle hangs 
on the stove with its side against the frame. The kettle is about 
two feet high and eighteen inches wide, and rests on a square 
fire-place made of paper, a square portion in the front being cut 
out to represent bars. These bars are covered with red tissue- 
paper to imitate the glow of the fire within. The illustration, 
Fig. 24, represents the curtain stretched on the frame, and the 
paper-scenery in position, the strips of wood fastened to the 
frame at A and B, and the fire-bars, C, to be covered with red 
tissue-paper. Eight over the kettle, nail a strip of wood, D, on 
to the frame, and insert a small eyelet into the upper end of it. 
Arrange a similar eyelet, E, over the centre of the curtain. Pass 
a piece of fine sewing-thread through each ; at one end of each 
thread fasten a hooked pin, and secure the other ends on separate 
nails on the side of the frame. On the string D hook a chicken, 
and on the string E the other chicken with the arrow in it; haul 
the latter up out of sight over the curtain, and let the former 
hang down in the shadow of the kettle. In front of the fire lay 
a few sticks on the ground. 

Commence with the light in the " first position." (See page 131. ) 



138 



THE EEEJEE ISLAITOERS AT HOME. 



{Enter Kameha, tcith oow and arrow and tomahawk, over light.) 
Kameha looks right and left, dips finger in pot, tastes it, 
shakes his head ; goes into hut, comes out again, stands at en- 
trance; points at kettle, then at his open mouth; shakes his 
head ; claps his hands. 




FIG. 24. 

{Enter Ochee, over light.) 

Threatens Ochee, points at kettle, squats down near hut, and 
goes to sleep. 

Ochee puts his fingers to his nose, cuts a caper, and picking up 
sticks throws them into the fire. Euns into hut, returns with 
fan, blows fire. Kettle boils. (A mouthful of cigar-smoke 
■puffed from the side as if issuing from the kettle produces the ap- 
pearance of steam.) Cuts another caper and produces an egg, 
which he drops into the kettle, and then squats down in front of 
his father and nods, as if asleep, 



THE FEEJEE ISLANDERS AT HOME. 139 

Kameha wakes np, sees Ochee asleep, and hits him on the 
head with his bow to wake him. 

Ochee wakes up with a start, rubs his eyes and turns round to 
Kameha, who points to kettle. He then goes to kettle to get the 
egg, looks into kettle, starts back in amazement. Beckons his 
father, who looks over his shoulder in the pot. (Tlie chicken on 
1) is now hauled up by jerks.) At each movement of the chicken 
both start with surprise. The chicken disappears over the cur- 
tain ; both point to the place. (A strip of cardboard with bad 
egg cut out in it may be held for a moment from the side of the 
curtain over the kettle. The chicken should now be drawn down 
again by means of a stick with a hook at the end, the operation be- 
ing done so as to produce no shadow on the curtain.) 

Kameha points to the words Bad Egg, and hits Ochee on the 
head. 

Ochee falls down with legs up, jumps up, runs into hut and 
brings out another egg. 

Kameha snatches the egg, smells it, shakes it, nods his head in 
approval, drops it in kettle and turns round to Ochee, shaking his 
fist. (Tlie chicken is now hauled up near the top of the curtain, 
unobserved by the players.) He turns again and looks into kettle. 
{The chicken is let down, so as to appear as if standing on Kam- 
eha's head.) 

Ochee claps his hands and points at chicken. 

Kameha looks up, sees the chicken (which is quickly drawn up 
mit of sight), runs into hut for bow and arrow, appears again at 
entrance and shoots up (so that the arrow will fall beyond the cur- 
tain. The chicken at E, Fig 24, is now let down, fluttering, as if 
wounded). 

Both fall down afraid. 

Ochee makes a grab at it, but it is hauled quickly up again. 

Both shake fists at one another and stamp. 

Kameha kicks Ochee over light and exits into hut. 

Ochee comes out of hut, pushing infant Feejee before him up to 
the kettle. 

Infant turns round, with hands together, and begs to be 
spared. 

Ochee boxes his ears and carefully puts him in the kettle and 
exits (left). 



140 THE EEEJEE ISLASTDEBS AT HOME. 

Kameha, putting out his head from hut, watches these pro- 
ceedings with satisfaction, withdrawing his head when Ochee 
leaves. 

(Enter Sleek, left, with umbrella under arm, and book in left 
hand, as if reading.) 

Sleek, making gestures with right hand, as if preaching, ad- 
vances slowly. Starts; looks around him, dips finger in kettle, 
withdrawing it quickly, as if burned ; blows on his finger and ex- 
amines it closely. He again looks in kettle, and discovers infant; 
lays down book and umbrella; holds up hands in horror; lifts it 
out and wipes it off with his hands. 

Infant runs off (left). 

Kameha puts his head out of hut and draws it in again. 

Ochee comes out of hut on all fours and goes toward Sleek. 

Sleek turns suddenly, sees the hut, and steps toward it, but 
tumbles over Ochee; gets up slowly, rubbing himself; tries to 
grasp Ochee, who jumps over light. 

Kameha appears at door of hut with bow and arrow. (He 
must shoot so as to hit the book, which Sleek holds conveniently for 
the purpose.) Holds up hands in amazement, at his shot being 
warded off; kneels down and kisses Sleek's foot in token of sub- 
mission. 

Ochee enters (left), behind Sleek, looks in kettle, finds the in- 
fant gone, turns round, sees Sleek, creeps up to him, runs knife 
round his head and scalps him (lifts his wig off), and throws 
scalp to Kameha. 

Sleek puts hands to head and stamps with pain. 

Kameha runs into hut, returns with tomahawk, hits Sleek on 
head, knocking him down, and general scuffle on top of Sleek 
(affording opportunity for Sleek to roll away back under light, 
and the stuffed figure to be rolled into his place; during this the 
light must be raised up gradually about two feet, and then trans- 
ferred to the second position. See page 131). 

Both get up slowly, one at each end of the figure. 

Kameha lifts one leg of figure and lets it drop. 

Ochee lifts one of the arms and drops it again ; lifts the figure 
to a standing position (holding it by middle of back ivith one 
hand). 



THE FEEJEE ISLANDERS AT HOME. 141 

Kameha examines arm, leg, etc., rubs his stomach, then rubs 
his hands with satisfaction and goes into hut. 

Ochee lets the figure slope backward as if heavy, and pushes it 
upright again, staggering. Same business repeated. 

Kameha comes out of hut with saw, seizes an arm and cuts it 
off. Takes hold of the figure and hands the arm to Ochee. 

Ochee takes it to the kettle, drops it in, cuts a caper, and looks 
in after it. (The arm stretches up out of the kettle, hits Ochee on 
the head, and falls back into kettle. Tfiis is done by the manager, 
from the side, using his own arm and fist.) He rubs his head, 
turns round and takes the figure again from Kameha. 

Kameha cuts the other arm off and holds the figure as before. 

Ochee takes the arm to the kettle, again receiving a blow on the 
head which knocks him backward, upsetting the figure and 
Kameha; general fight again, ending by their resuming their 
former positions. 

The same business is repeated with the legs, which are in turn 
cut off and transferred to the kettle ; last of all the head. 

Kameha examines the body and sits down on it. 

Both rest a moment, watching the pot, which begins to steam. 

Kameha gets up, goes to the pot, pulls out a leg, tries it with 
his teeth, struggling violently to bite a piece. No go ; throws it 
back in pot. {The body has meanwhile been withdrawn by means 
of a hooked stick.) Goes back to seat himself again and tumbles 
over backward ; looks around for the body ; it is gone ; takes hold 
of Ochee, points to the spot where the body was lying, and boxes 
his ears. Points to kettle and shoves Ochee toward it. 

Ochee looks in kettle, lifts an arm half out, which knocks him 
down. 

Kameha picks him up, kicks him, goes to kettle, and is also 
knocked down by a leg ; sits up, rubs his eyes ; gets up and looks 
again in kettle, puts his hand in, but finds nothing. (The chicken 
is now let down from D, Fig. 24, on to his head and the manager 
crows) ; looks up quickly, sees chicken (which is drawn up with a 
single jerk); rubs his eyes, looks up where the chicken disap- 
peared ; looks again in kettle, and finding nothing gets in a pas- 
sion ; turns round, stumbling over Ochee ; gets up and faces Ochee, 
points to his arms and then to the kettle, to his legs and head 
and again to the kettle ; makes a motion as much as to say "they 
are all gone," Points again at kettle. 



142 SELECTED PARLOR PLATS. 

Ochee looks at kettle also. {Tlie head sticks out of the pot and 
makes a Ha! Ha ! !) 

Both start and run into hut, returning cautiously on tiptoe. 
{LigJit to " first position," while both are in hut.) 

Sleek, dressed as before, with, wig and hat on, enters slowly 
[left), exactly as at first. 

Kameha sees him first, and his hair stands on end with fear. 
Trembles excessively and jumps over light. 

Ochee then sees Sleek, and rolls over back into the hut. 

Sleek points at him and then at the book, which he holds up 
aloft as the triumph of civilization over barbarism. (A low chair 
or stool is handed him over the light.) Puts the chair in centre of 
curtain, mounts it and gesticulates as if preaching {moving contin- 
ually to hide the effect of the change of position in the light, which 
shoidd be very gradually raised per pendicidarly from its position 
to about four feet from the ground). "When at that height, he 
finally makes a bow and steps down from chair {straight back 
under the light). {To the audience Sleek will seem to step down 
into the ground.) 

{Curtain.) 

SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS. 

Amateurs generally experience greater difficulty in the 
selection of appropriate plays than might be supposed. 
The catalogues of plays, as usually furnished, give only 
the titles, and the number of performers of each sex re- 
quired for their representation. From this meagre informa- 
tion it is not possible to gain any idea of the nature of the 
plays, and much time and trouble are thrown away, as 
well as some expense needlessly incurred, in procuring and 
examining the plays in order to ascertain their contents and 
requirements. It has already been remarked that an 
amateur manager cannot always choose his company to 
suit the plays ; he must, therefore, suit the play as nearly 
as possible to his company ; and, to aid him in this, a se- 
lection of brilliant plays and farces, etc., is here given, 
specially adapted for amateur purposes; with the charac- 



SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS. 143 

ters of each in full, so that it can be seen at a glance which 
of them are best suited for his purposes. 

It would be well to draw attention to the fact that when 
a piece is marked as a Farce, the characters that have no 
special description given to them are such as would natu- 
rally be required for a very lively comedy. The style of 
the piece will be a guide to the style of the characters 
needed for it. 

THE STUDENT'S FROLIC— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 

Five characters. 

Brutus Boodle, Esq., a country gentleman. Charles Ched- 
dar, a rollicking student. Sergeant Berllnus, a rural police- 

man. Mrs. Boodle. Hannah, a servant. 
A HOUSEHOLD FAIRY.— Domestic Sketch, in one Act and one 

Scene. Two characters. 
Julian de Clifford, aristocratic but in difficulties. Kath- 

erine, bright and bewitching. 
A KISS 1ST THE DARK.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 

Five characters. 
Mr. Selim Pettibone, a jealous husband. Frank Fathom, 

Mrs. Pettibone's former lover. Mrs. Pettibone. Mary, a 

servant girl. An Unknown Female. 
MRS. WILLIS' "WILL. — Comic drama, in one Act and one 

Scene. Five female characters. 
Mrs. Robinson, aged 40. Lady Spindle, aged 40, absurdly 

haughty and dignified. Mrs. Dwindle, aged 30, a poetess and 

lady of fashion. Jenny, aged 18, a farm servant. Rachel, 

aged 50, Mrs. Robinson's servant. 
JACK OF ALL TRADES.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 

Six male characters. 
Old Fickle, an old gentleman. Tristram Fickle, his son. 

Briefwit, a Barrister. Sneer, a valet. Barber. Gardener. 
HIS FIRST BRIEF. — Comedietta, in one Act and one Scene. 

Five characters. 
Charles de Murrer, a young lawyer. Mr. Congou Popham, 

a retired tea merchant. Jeremy Pounce, a lawyer's clerk. Mrs. 

Farringdon Ward, a young and wealthy widow. Martin, 

her confidential maid. 



\44 SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS. 

\ SUDDEN" ARRIVAL.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene, 

Seven male characters. 

Cornelius Cocker, an elderly gentleman, given to zoology. 
Marmaduke Twist, his nephew, convivial. Resolute Cram- 
mer, Bounceable Bang and Marplot Mooner, Twist's con- 
vivial friends. Two Porters. 
1 MEDICAL MAN". — Comedietta, in one Act and one Scene. 
Three characters. 

Alphonso de Pickleton, a dramatic author. Jones, a the- 
atrical manager. Belinda, a young lady. 
A TERRIBLE SECRET.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 
Four characters. 

Mr. Henpecker, the possessor of a terrible secret. Bob 
Loosefish, a fast young man. Mrs. Henpecker, a suspicious 
wife. Tilly, a housemaid. 
POISONED. — Farce, in one Act and one Scene. Four male 
characters. 

Mivins, a young gentleman with expectations. Charles 
Brown, his betrothed' s brother. Tom, his Jack of all Trades. 
Mrs. Priggit, a laundress (played by a man). 
AN ELIGIBLE SITUATION".— Eccentric Comedy, in one Act 
and one Scene. Nine characters. 

Miss Pigeon, a single lady. Bertha, her niece, in love. 
Mrs. Skillet, a lady of vigorous principles. Mrs. Smallboy. 
Miss Keggs. Susan, a parlor maid. Robert Smallboy, 
Esq., a victim of circumstances. Frank Yerditer, an artist. 
Cuffs, alias Walker, an artful dodger. 
WANTED, A YOUNG LADY.— Farce, in one Act and one 
Scene. Three characters. 

Adelaide Stirling, a lady's companion. Frank Mitchell. 
Simon Snoozle, man-servant. 

The foregoing twelve capital pieces are all contained in li Row- 
arcVs Book of Drawing-Room Theatricals," published complete in 
paper covers for 30 cents, or bound in boards for 50 cents. 

A SPANKING LEGACY.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 
Five male characters. 

Ursino Jacopo, a Corsican innkeeper. Jeremiah Jacopo, 
his nephew, an Englishman. Rinaldini and Leoni, rivals in 
love. Gendarme. 



SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS. 145 

A SLIGHT MISTAKE.— Comedietta, in one Act and one Scene. 

Five characters. 
Lady Prince Proudly, a high-toned lady. Sarsnet, her 
' maid. Penelope Perfect, landlady of a Village Inn. Eosina, 

her cousin. Dorothy, a faithful domestic. 
TYTO GENTLEMEN AT MIYART'S.— Short Duologue for two 

male characters, an Elderly Gentleman and a Young 

Gentleman. 
FURNISHED APARTMENTS.— Comic Interlude, in one Act 

and one Scene. Five male characters. 
Dr. Planus, a surgeon. Romeo Theodore Fuggles, the 

doctor's assistant. Magnus Smith, a man of importance. 

Telemachus Thompson, a man of weak nerves. Cephalus 

Squill, the doctor's errand boy. 
FIRESIDE DIPLOMACY.— Comedietta, in one Act and one 

Scene. Four characters. 

Reginald Florestan, a careless husband. John, his man- 
servant. Mrs. Florestan, the best of wives. Mrs. Everslay, 

a mischief-maker. 
SLIGHTED TREASURES.— Petite Comedy, in one Act and one 

Scene. Four female characters. 
Anabella Hopeful and Arabella Hopeful, sisters, 

jealous and quarrelsome. Araminta Nortigal, their friend. 

Susan, servant. 
THE DUTCHMAN'S GHOST.— Farce, in one Act and two 

Scenes. Seven characters. 
Hans Barth, Dutch dialect character. Henry Schael, a 

lover. Jones. Mr. Burple, a hen-pecked husband. Mrs. 

Burple, a tyrannical wife and mother. Catherine, Burple's 

daughter. Charley. 
MONEY MAKES THE MAN.— Drama, in one Act and one 

Scene. Seven characters. 
Colonel Culpepper, a stern parent. Charles Kettering, 

Lucy's lover. Frank Datvson, Mary's lover. Mr. Ogle- 
thorpe, a rich suitor. Lucy Maitland. Mary Culpepper. 
A SILENT PROTECTOR.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 

Five characters. 
Quickfidgit, a gentleman in difficulties. Nat Nobbler, a 

Sheriff's officer. Twaddleton Lisp, a dandy. Lilian Gray, 



146 SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS. 

assuming the name of "Mrs. Arlington." Nancy Slyboots, 
her servant. 

THE STAGE-STRUCK CLERK.— Farce, in one Act and one 
Scene. Nine characters. 

Mr. Hooker, a lawyer. Tactic, Yictim and Fag, his 
clerks. Mr. Knitbrow, an alderman. Mrs. Dobson. Fanny, 
her daughter. Juliet Snooks. A Constable. 

THE DUCHESS OF MANSFELDT.— Comic Drama, in one 
Act and one Scene. Six female characters. 

Duchess of Mansfeldt, a sovereign traveling incognito. 
Madam Hermann, her attendant. Gertrude, a landlady. 
Great Gudule, her servant. Lisa, a coquettish peasant. Rosa, 
a malicious peasant. 

A PAIR OF PIGEONS.— Domestic Sketch, in one Act and one 
Scene. Two characters. 
Mr. and Mrs. Peregrine Pigeon, a newly married couple. 

A MOST UNWARRANTABLE INTRUSION.— Comic Inter- 
lude, in one Act and one Scene. Two male characters. 

Mr. Nathaniel Snoozle. An Intruder, a man of con- 
summate impudence. 

FAIRLY TAKEN IN. — Comic After-piece, in one Act and one 
Scene. Two male characters. 

Lord Henry, his own character, also disguised as his servant, 
La Roche, French dialect character. Lady Julia, her own 
character, also disguised as a French gouvernante. 
Tlie foregoing fourteen excellent plays are included in "Hud- 
son's Private Theatricals " at the same price as " Hoiuard's TJw- 

atricals." (See page 144.) 

HIGH LIFE. — A Musical Burlesque, in three Acts and one 
Scene. Five characters. 

Marquis of Ballyporeen, a haughty but impoverished noble- 
man. Lord Titus Mountebank, a languishing but persevering 
lover. The Marchioness of Ballyporeen, wife of the Marquis. 
Lady Angelina, daughter of the Marquis. Priggles, her lady's 
maid. The entire music is included, with piano-forte accom- 
paniment. 

DARK DEEDS.— A thrilling After-piece, in three short Acts 
and one Scene. Five characters. 
Hubert Yavasour, an intriguing lover. Collar, a detective. 



SELECTED PARLOR PLATS. 147 

Mrs. Armadale, a widow lady in delicate health. Edith, 
her niece. Servant. 
MARRY IX HASTE, AND REPEXT AT LEISURE.— A 
Comic Drama in blank verse, in three Acts and three Scenes. Six 
characters. 

Toil Black, a man who married for money. Mrs. Black, 
his rich but ungainly wife (may be acted by a man.) Kate 
"White, her niece. Jane, their servant. Dick Green, Kate's 
lover. Z. 99, a policeman. 
WEARIXG OF THE GREEX.— Irish drama, in three short 
Acts and three Scenes. Six characters. 

Mr. Harris, an Irish landlord. Pat O'Halloran and Tim 
Rooney, his tenants. Mrs. Harris, the landlord's nice wife. 
"Widow McGrath, an old Irish woman. Oonah, her pretty 
daughter. 
THE RESULT OF A XAP.— Farce, in three short Acts and 
two Scenes. Five characters. 

Henry Rasper, a hunting gentleman. Thomas Bragg, a 
boasting gentleman. Bottles, the butler. Mrs. Rasper, Hen- 
■ ry's wife. Dorotht Darling, her sister. 
BLUEBEARD. — Burlesque with songs, in three Acts and two 
Scenes. Four well-known characters. 

Bluebeard, Selim, Fatima, Anne. The music and piano- 
forte accompaniment are included in this piece. 
MOXSIEUR PIERRE. — An amusing piece, in French style; 
in three short Acts and one Scene. Five characters. 

Monsieur Pierre, an old French gentleman, speaking broken 
English. Mrs. Barker, a lady speaking French with English 
accent. Algernon, her son. Mary, Pierre's lost daughter. 
Stephanie, Mary's maid. 
"VIRTUE VICTORIOUS.— Old Style Comedy, in three short 
Acts and two Scenes. Five characters. 

Sir Harry "Wilder, an English squire. Farmer "Whoats, 
English dialect part. Scamp, Sir Harry's agent. John, Sir 
Harry's valet. Susan, "Whoat's daughter. 
LOYE. — A Domestic Comedy, in three Acts and two Scenes. Six 
characters. 

Sir Berkeley Curryon, an English gentleman. Fred 
Curryon, his son. Capt. Jack Travers, a fashionable bore, 



148 SELECTED PAELOfc PLATS. 

Lady Cuesham, a match-maker. Blanche, her daughter. 
Emily, a nice young lady. 

AFLOAT AND ASHORE.— A Maritime Farce, in three Acts and 
three Scenes. Six characters. 

Lord Bullion, an exquisite. Harry Stirling, a young 
midshipman. Jack, a sailor. Mrs. Gadabout, Harry's aunt. 
Helen, her daughter. Martha, her servant. 

TRAGEDY TRANSMOGRIFIED.— A manager's troubles, in 
three short Acts and two Scenes. Five characters. 

Placid, a manager. Testy, a prompter. O'Brown, a pan- 
tomimist. Miss De Jones, a singing chambermaid. Hon. 
Mrs. Belgrave, a fashionable authoress. 

FAIRY FREAKS.— A Fantastic for juveniles, in three Acts and 

two Scenes. Four leading and several subordinate characters. 

Oberon, king of the fairies. Titania, their queen. Puck, 

an intelligent official. Grumps, a sulky mortal. Fairies, etc. 

The foregoing twelve pieces are all contained in il Nugent' s 

Burlesque and Musical Acting Charades," at the same price as 

" Howard's Theatricals." {See page 144.) 

ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE.— A witty Classical Extravagan- 
za, in rhyme, with songs, in one Scene and one Act. Six char- 
acters. 

Pluto, monarch of . Proserpine, his wife. Charon, 

the ferryman. Cerberus, a watchman of dogged look. Or- 
pheus, a wandering minstrel. Eurydice, his affianced. 

IRRESISTIBLY IMPUDENT.— The Rehearsal of a Farce, in one 
Act and one Scene. Five characters. 

Dick Calmleigh, an impudent fellow. Mr. Wigley, a 
stern parent. Charles, his son. Jennie Hayne, his ward. 
Prompter. 
The two foregoing pieces, ivith eighteen excellent acting proverbs 

<and charades, are contained in "Parlor Theatricals," price 

the same as "Howard's Theatricals." (Seepage 144.) 

The following light, spirited petite-comedies, including three 

Fairy Tale Dramas in an entirely new dress, are contained in 

"Amateur Theatricals" at same price as the preceding books. 

The various characters are so thoroughly adapted for il parlor 

players," that it is hardly necessary to describe them in detail. 

MR. JOHN SMITH. — A Screaming Faroe in two simple Scen.es, 
requiring twelve male and seven female characters. 



SELECTED PARLOR PLATS. 149 

THE YOUXG AMAZON.— A Rattling Comedy for three male and 

two female characters, in one drawing-room Scene. 
WOOING UXDER DIFFICULTIES.— A Comedy, in four Acts 

•with four plain Scenes, for four male and three female characters. 
BOLTS A:N t D BARS.— An excellent Comedy, in three Acts and 

one Scene, for four male and two female characters. 
ALL'S WELL THAT EKDS WELL.— A Comedy, in one Act and 

one Scene, for three male and two female performers. 
CINDERELLA. — A capital Travestie on the original Fairy Tale, 

in four Acts and two Scenes, for four male and six female 

performers. 
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.— A new version, in six short Acts 

and two Scenes, for five males and four females. 
BLUEBEARD. — An entirely new version of this well known 

burlesque, in two Acts and two Scenes, for three male and 

three female characters. 

As it is just possible that the publishers of this work 
might labor under the imputation of noticing, and. to a cer- 
tain extent advertising, only their own books, they wish to 
state, more by way of explanation than apology, that the 
books containing the foregoing selections of plays were edit- 
ed with great care and for the single purpose of affording 
amateurs of an average degree of talent the best possible 
field for histrionic distinction and success. 

Without wishing to draw invidious comparisons, they 
feel entirely warranted in affirming that the pieces referred 
to are the very best that can be selected for the purpose, 
affording ample variety to satisfy all ordinary demands, 
and embracing most of the really effective plays that are 
within the capabilities of amateur performers. 

Parlor Actors are frequently ambitious enough to under- 
take such pieces as " Money," " London Assurance," "The 
Lady of Lyons," and other plays that involve not only 
talent of a high order, but require a degree of ease and 
finish in stage business attainable only by long practice and 
experience. Besides, these standard plays are so well 
known and are so often presented in public by strong 



150 SELECTED PAELOE, PLATS. 

dramatic companies, that amateurs only run the risk of, at 
least, unfavorable comparison and criticism in attempting 
parts in which they can hardly hope to rise above medi- 
ocrity. 

It will be found far preferable to select plays that are 
less familiar to theatre-goers, and which present less diffi- 
culties to the actors ; they will thus be enabled to achieve 
real success, instead of being compelled to realize the dis- 
couraging conviction that they might have done better if 
they had attempted less ; and, merely to gratify a little 
unwarrantable ambition, they discover too late that they 
have earned, not genuine applause, but only the " faint 
praise that damns." 



DICK & FITZGERAJ/TX 
PUBLISHERS, NEW YORK. 



%* The Publishers, upon receipt of the price, will send any of the following 
K\yks by mail, 1'OSTAge fkee, to any part of the United States. In ordering 
books, ihe full name, post office, county and State should be plainer written. 



Dick's Encyclopedia of Practical Receipts and Processes. 

Containing over 6,400 Receipts; embracing thorough information, in plain 
language, applicable to almost every possible industrial and domestic re- 
quirement. The scope of this work is different from any other book of the 
kind. The contents of the Encyclopedia are collated from works on the 
various subjects by authors of eminence in their respective branches, divested 
©f technicalites, simplified and illustrated by diagrams, where necessary, so 
as to make the whole plain and intelligible to the uniiiitiateu. This work 
presents a complete and indispensable book for the household inrm, garden. 
&c. ; including instructions as to what to do and how to do it. in «ase of all 
accidents, contingencies, and ailments of daily life. It also affords a valua- 
ble Book of Reference for the Druggist, enabling Mm to make up a number 
of " Sundries," especially Toilet Soaps, Dentifrices, Cosmetics, and Perfum- 
ery ; also specific Medicines and Remedies derived from the practice of 
eminent Physicians, or from various European officinal sources ; thus forming 
a useful, and desirable adjunct to the United States Pharmacopoeia. It 
enables the Grocer to prepare his own Flavoring Extracts, Vinegar, and a 
host of other articles, cheaper and better than he can purchase tnem ; and 
to test the quality of some of the Goods that he buys and sells. To the 
liquor Dealer it gives the best and latest methods of treating and improv- 
ing his liquors ; of preparing Cordials, <fcc. ; of making, managing, and bot- 
tling all kinds of Wmes, Cider, &c, — it lays before the workman the results 
obtained by tb<i experiments and experience of the masters of his trade. 
In fact it is almost useless to attempt an enumeration of the advantages of 
this work, as there is scarcely a branch of Industry that may not deri?o 
information and profit from its pages. The Index of this work occupies 42 
three-column pages, in small type. 600 pagos, royal octavo, cloth. ' 

Price $5.00. 

Bound in half calf, extra S7-50 

|^* Full descriptive circular of th.3 a&ove sent, by maiL. free. 

Ferrero's Art of Dancing without a Master ; or, BaU-Boom 

■ Guide and Instructor. To which is added Hints on Etiquette ; also, the 
Figures, Music, and necessary instructions for the most modern and im- 
proved Dances. By Edward Eerrero. This work contains 105 pages of the 
choicest Music, arranged for the Piano-forte by the most celebrated pro- 
fessors. The Music alone is worth ten times the price of the book. 

Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price 75 cts. 

In paper cover 50 Cts. 

Wilson's Book of Recitations and Dialogues. With instruc- 
tions in Elocution and Declamation. Containing a choice selection of 
Poetical and Prose Recitations and Original Colloquies. Designed as a 
Reading Book for Classes, and as an Assistant to Teachers and Students ia 
preparing Exhibitions. By Floyd B. Wilson, Professor of Elocution. Th« 

Volloc aiea are widely original. Paper covers. Price 30 ct* 

Botum in wards, cloth back... «-...»... .««««««..«. ,. <60et^. 



The Parlor Magician ; or, One Hundred Tricks for tlie Draw 

ing-Room, containing an Extensive and Miscellaneous Collection of Con- 
juring and Legerdemain; Sleights with Dice, Dominoes, Cards, Ribbons, 
Kings, Fruit, Com, Balls, Handkerchiefs, etc., nil of which may he performed 
in the Parlor or Drawing-Room, without the aid of any apparatus ; also 
embracing a choice variety of Curious Deceptions, which may he performed 
with the aid of simple apparatus ; the whole illustrated and dearly ex- 
plained with 121 engravings. Paper Covers. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, with cloth back ....50 Cts» 



Book of Riddles and Five hundred Home Amusements. 

Containing a Choice and Curious Collection of Riddles, Charades, Enigmas, 
Rebuses, Anagrams, Transpositions, Conundrums, Amusing Puzzles, Queer 
Sleights, Recreations in Arithmetic, Fireside Games and Natural Magic, 
embracing Entertaining Amusements in Magnetism, Chemistry, Second 
Sight and Simple Recreations in Science for Family and Social Pastime, il- 
lustrated with sixty Engravings. Paper covers. Price .30 cts. 

Bound in Boards, with cloth back :, .. 50 cts. 



Book Of Fireside Games, Containing an Explanation of the 

most Entertaining Games suited to the Family C'rele as a Recreation, such 
as games of Action, Games which merely require attention. Games which 
require memory, Catch Games, which have for their objects Tricks or Mysti- 
fication, Gaines in which an opportunity is afforded to display Gallantry, 
Wit, or some slight knowledge of certain Sciences, Amusing Forfeit's, Fire- 
side Games for Winter Evening Amusement, etc. 

Paper Covers. Price..... -30 cts. 

Bound in boards, with cloth back ...... .50 eta, 



Parlor Theatricals ; or, Winter Evenings' Entertainment. Con- 
taining Acting Proverbs, Dramatic Charades, Acting Charades, or Draw- 
ing-Room Pantomimes, Musical Burlesques, Tableaux Vivants, etc. ; with 
Instructions for Amateurs ; how to Construct a Stage and Curtain ; how to 
get. up Costumes and Properties ; on the "Making up" of Characters ; 
Exits and Entrances ; how to arrange Tableaux, etc. Illustrated with 

Engravings. Paper covers. . .' ' . . .30 cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back. -. 50 cts. 

The Book of 500 Curious Puzzles, Containing a large col- 
lection of entertaining Paradoxes, Perplexing Deception in numbers, and 
Amusing Tricks in Geometry. By the author of " The Sociable," " The Se- 
cret Out," " The Magician's Own Book." Illustrated with a great variety 
of Engravings. This book will have a large sale. It will furnish f tin and 

amusement for a whole winter. Paper covers. Price 30 eta, 

Bound in boards, with cloth back 50 Cts. 

The above five books are compiled from the " Sociable " and " Magician's 
Own." 

The Young Reporter ; or, How to Write Short-Hand. A com- 
plete Phonographic Teacher, intended to afford thorough instruction to 
those who have not the assistance of an Oral Teacher. By the aid of this 
work, any person of the most ordinary intelligence may learn to write Short- 
Hand, and Report Speeches and Sermons in a short time. Bound in hoards, 
with cloth back. Price 50 ot». 



Day 



Popular Books Bent Free of Postage at the lAees annexed. 
McBride's All Kinds of Dialogues. A Collection of Otigifi i 

Humorous and Domestic Dialogues, Introducing Yankee, Trench, Iri i, 
Dutch, and other characters. Excellently adapted for Amateur perform- 
ance. By H. Elliott Meliride. This book constitutes a second series of 
McBride's Comic Dialogues, and affords an additional variety of the spirited 
dialogues and short dramatic scenes contained in the latter book. Tliey 
are all entirely original, and develop in a marked degree the eccentricities 
and peculiarities of the various ideal, but genuine, characters which are 
represented iu them. They arc specially adapted for School Exhibitions 
and all other celebrations where the success of the entertainment is partly 
or entirely dependent on the efforts of the young folks. I 

Illuminated Paper Cover, Price 30 cts. 1 

Bound in Boards -. 50 Cts. : 

Beecher's Recitations and Reading's. Humorous, Serious, 

Dramatic ; including Prose and Poetical Selections in Dutch, Trench, Yan- 
kee, Dish, Backwoods, Xegro and other Dialects. Edited by Alvah C. 
Beecher. This excellent selection has been compiled to meet a growing 
demand for Public Readings, and contains a number of the favorite pieces 
that have been rendered Vith telling effect by the most popular Public 
Headers of the present time. It includes, also, choice selections for Recita- 
tion, and is, therefore, admirably adapted for use at Evening Entertain- 
ments, School Celebrations, and other Testival occasions. 

16mo. Illuminated Paper Cover, Price. . 30 Cts. 

Bound in Boards 50 Cts, 

_ s Garils for Poking the Question. An Original Game 

for Lovers and Sweethearts, or for Merry-Making in a Party of Young 
People. These cards are not only delightfully useful to diffident lovers- 
enabling them to realize deferred hopes, and cure aching hearts, but will 
make lots of fun and innocent amusement in a party of young people, often 
resulting in earnest love passages begun in sport — preventing shyness and 
diffidence, and promoting that healthy and easy confidence between the 
sexes so necessary in all" social meetings. The set consists of forty-two 
Cards, viz.: twenty -one questions, which" are mostly earnest declarations of 
love, and twenty -one answers, equally pithy and to the point. As soon as 
these Cards become known we feel sure that they will have an endless sale. 
Put up in cases, with directions for playing. Price - . 30 C oS. 

Wed Turner's Circus Joke Book. A Collection of the best 

Jokes, Bon Mots, Bepartees, Gems of Wit. and Tunny Sayings and Doings 
of the celebrated Equestrian Clown and Ethiopian Comedian, ISTed Turner. 
Arranged and compiled by George E. Gowan. This book forms the third 
of the series by this versatile popular performer. Price 10 Cts. 

Chips from Uncle Sam's Jack-Knife. Illustrated with over 

100 Comical Engravings, and comprising a collection of over 500 Laugha-^ 
ble Stories, Funny Adventures, Comic Poetry, Queer Conundrums, Terj 
rific Puns, TVitty Sayings, Suhli:n<> Jokes and Sentimental Sentences. Thet 
whole being a most perfect port i'oiio for those who love to laugh. ' 

Large octavo. Price 25 Cts* 

Clarence Bolton. A ~New York story, with city life in all its 
phases. This is one of those fascinating tales of city life that gives an in- 
sight into every class of society. Price 25 Cts. * 

Grace Weldon ; or, Tlie Pretty Milliner. This is a story abont 
the Sewing Girls of Boston. Full of fun andadventure. Any person whi 
desires to read a lively story should not fail to get this work. 
Price. -..V..rv.,^.'-v.v ,.25 cts, 



Popular Books Sent Free cf Postage at the Prices annexed. 

Howard's Hecitations, Comic, Serious and Pathetic. Being a col- 
lection of fresh Recitations in Prose and Poetry, suitable for Anniversaries, 
Exhibitions. Sociables and Evening Parties. 180 pages. Klnio. 
Paper Cover 3(JCtd. Bound in Boards 50ctS. 

-Frost's New Book of Dialogues. Being an entirely new and 

original series of Humorous Dialogues, designed for performance at School 

Anniversaries and Exhibitions. 180 pages. Paper Covers 30cts. 

Bound in Boards* 50cts[ 

Frost's Dialogues for Young Folks. A collection of Original, 

Moral and Humorous Dialogues, adapted to the use of School and Church 
Exhibitions, Family Gatherings and Juvenile Celebrations on all occasions. 
A few of the Dialogues are long enough to form a sort of little drama that 
"will interest more advanced scholars, while short and easy ones abound for 

the use of quite young children. Paper Cover 30ctS. 

Bound in Boards, with Cloth Backs, Side in Colors 50ctS. 

Frost's Humorous and Exhibition Dialogues. This is a col- 
lection of Sprightly Original Dialogues, in Prose and Terse, intended to be 
spoken at School Exhibitions. Some of the pieces are for boys, some for 
girls, while a number are designed to be used by both sexes. 180 pages. 
Paper Covers 30ct3. Bound in Boards 50ct3 

French. Self-Taught. A. new system on the most simple prin- 
ciples for Universal Self-Tuition, with English Pronunciation of every word. 
By Franz Thimm. Price 25cts« 

German Self-Taught. Uniform with "French Self-Taught." 
By Franz Thimm. Price 25cts. 

Spanish Self-Taught. Uniform with " French Self-Taught.' 
By Franz Thimm. Price 25cts. 

Italian Self- Taught. Uniform with "French Self-Taught." 
By Franz Thimm. Price 25cts. 

Franz Thimm's Modern Languages. Being the above four 

works bound together in cloth, lGmo. Price SI. 50 

The Banjo, and HOW to Play It. Containing, in addition to 

the Elementary Study, a choice collection of Polkas, Waltzes. Solos, Schot- 
tisches, Songs, Hornpipes, Jigs. Reels, &c. ; with full explanations of both 
the "Banjo" and "Guitar" styles of execution, and designed to impart a 
complete knowledge of the Art of Playing the Banjo practically, without the 
aid of a Teacher. By Frank Converse, author of the "Banjo without* 
Master." KJmo. Bound in Boards, with Cloth Back 50ctS. 

Jlowto Speak in Public; or, the Art of Extempore Oratory. A. 
valuable manual for those who desire to become ready, off-hand speakers. 
lGmo. Paper Cover 25cts. 

How to Shine in Society ; or, the Science of Conversation. Con- 
taining the principles, laws, and general usages of polite society. 16mo. 
Paper Cover 25ctS. 

The Athlete's Guide. A hand-book on Walking, Eunning, and 
Bowing, giving full instructions for Training, and a Record of all the princi- 
pal events since the year 1773, with sketches of the lives of the most celebra- 
ted Athletes. By W. E. Habding. Ex-Champion. ltfnio, cloth. Price . 50 Ota 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed 

Delisser's Horseman's Guide. Comprising the Laws on War- 
ranty, and the Rules in purchasing: and Belling Horses, -with the decisions ana 
reports of various courts in Europe and the united States : to which is added 
a detailed account of -what constitute soundness and unsoundness, and a 
precise method, simply laid down, for the examination of horses, showing 
their age to thirty years old : together with an exposure of the various tricks 
and impositions practiced by low horse-dealers (jockeys) on inexperienced 
persons ; also a valuable Table of eacli and every bone in the structure of 
the Horse. The entire matter carefully compiled from Twenty English, Five 
'American. Six French, and Nine German Veterinary Authors, with the 
opinions of the compiler attached. By George P. Eelisser. Y. S. <fc L. A., 
anil late Examining Veterinary Surgeon to the American Society for the 
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Bound in boards, cloth back. .. . 75 cts. 
Bound in Cloth. Price $1.00. 

Howard's Book of Conundrums and Riddles. Containing 

over 1,400 "Witty Coiundrums, Queer Piddles. Perplexing Puzzles, Inge- 
nious Enigmas, Clever Charades, Curious Catches, and Amusing Sells, origi- 
nal and newly dressed. This splendid collection of curious paradoxes 
will afford the material for a never-ending feast of fun and amusement. 
Any person, with the assistance of this book, may take the lead in enter- 
taining a company and keeping them in roars' of laughter for hours to- 
gether. It is an invaluable companion for a Pic-nic or Summer Excursion 
of any kind, and is just the thing to make a fireside circle merry on a long 
winter's evening. There is not a poor riddle in the book, the majority being 

fresh and of the highest order. Paper cover. Price '. 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back. Price 50 CtS. 

Frost's Book of Tableaux and Shadow Pantomimes. 

Containing a choice collection of Tableaux or Uving Pictures, embracing 
Moving Tableaux. Mother Goose Tableaux. Fairy Tale Tableaux, Charade 
and Proverb Tableaux; together with directions' for arranging the stage, 
costuming the characters, and forming appropriate groups. By Miss S. 
Annie Frost. To which is added a number of Shadow Acts and Panto- 
mimes, with complete stage instructions. 180 pages, paper cover. ..80 cts. 
Bound in boards, cloth back 50 CtS. 

Laughing Gas. An Encyclopaedia of Wit, Wisdom, and 
Wind. By Sam Slick, Jr. Comically illustrated -with 100 original and 
laughable Engravings, and nearly 500 side-extending Jokes, and other 
things to get fat on ; and the best thing of it is, that everything about the 
book is new and fresh — all new — new designs, new stories, new type — no 
comic almanac stuff. Price 5>5 cts. 

The Egyptian Dream Book and Fortune-Teller. Con- 
taining an Alphabetical List of Dreams, and numerous methods of Telling 
Fortunes, including the celebrated Oraculum of aSTapoleon Bonaparte. Il- 
lustrated with explanatory diagrams. Boards, cloth back. Price. .-40 Cts. 

Ned Turner's Black Jokes. A collection of Funny Stories, 
Jokes and Conundrums, interspersed with Witty Sayings and Humorous 
Dialogues. As given by Xed Turner, the Celebrated Ethiopian Delineator 
and Equestrian Clown. Price 10 CtS. 

Ned Turner's Clown Joke Book. Containing the best Jokes 
and Gems of 'vTit. composed and delivered by the favorite Equestrian Clown 
and Ethiopian Comedian, ZSTed Turner. 18mo. Price 10 Cts. 

Sam Slick in Search of a Wife. i2mo. 

t_ Paper oover. Prioo.... -.7fi eta 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices Annexed. 
Cards of Courtship. Arranged with such apt Conversations 

that you will be enabled to ask the momentous question categorically, iq 
such a delicate manner that the girl will not suspect what you are at. 
These cards may be used, either by two persons, or they will make lots of 
fun tor an evening party of young people. There are fourteen question 
cards, and twenty-eight answers— forty-two in all. Each answer will re> i 
spond differently to every one of the questions. The person holding th« 
questions either selects or draws one out, as he pleases. The answer is giv« 
en by shuffling the answer cards, and then throwing one of them down pro* 1 
miscuously. It may be a warm and loving, a non-committal, a genial asJ 
seating, a cold denying, an evasive, or even a coquettishly uncertain answefl 
— for they are all there, besides others which it is difficult to classify. "When 
oaed in a party, the question is read aloud by the lady receiving it— she 1 
shuffles and hands out an answer — and that also must be read aloud byj 
the gentleman receiving it. The fun thus caused is intense. Put up in 
J handsome card cases, on which are printed directions. Price 30 cts* 

Xove-Making Made Easy. By Love-Letter Cards. "We 

have just printed a new and novel Set of Cards which will delight the hearts 
of young people susceptible of the tender passion. These consist of forty- 
two cards— twenty-one pink, or yellow, and the same number of white ones. 
Each white card has printed on it a love-letter to a lady, and each of tho 
colored ones has her reply. The letters and replies are all different, and no 
formality of style, or namby-pambyism, will be found in any of them. All 
are written in a modern familiar tone, with plain and candid declarations of 
love — warmly or moderately expressed, or delicately hinted at, as the case 
may be, and some of them boldly popping the momentous question to the 
fair recipient. The answer cards are equally terse, candid and to the point. 
N. B.— These cards may be also successfully used for models (either wholly 
or in part) in writing to lovers or sweethearts. Put up in handsome cases 
on which are printed directions. Price 30 Ct8* 

Fortune-Telling Cards. Solutions of uncertain and intri- 
cate questions relative to love, luck, lotteries, matrimony, business matters, 
journeys, and future events generally, are here given in a direct, piquant, and 
satisfactory manner. They have been carefully worked out on genuine as- 
trological and geometrical principles, by planetarium, and in figures, trian- 
gles and curves, and are so arranged that each answer will respond to every 
one of the questions which may be put. There are fourteen printed questions 
and twenty-eight answer cards. If none of the questions should suit your 
case, you can ask any other you please, and the proper answer will come. 
These cards will also afford a fund of amusement in a party of young people. 
Each package is enclosed in a card-case, on which are printed directions for 
using the cards. Price 30 CtS* 

ieap-Year Cards. To enable any lady to pop the question 

to the chosen one of her heart. This set of cards is intended more to make fun' 
among young people than for any practical utility. There are twenty-ona,. 
pink or yellow cards, and the same number of white ones — foily-two in all.) 
On each of the colored cards is a printed letter from a lady to a gentleman, 
wherein the fair one declares her love, or pops the question in a humorous- 
ly sentimental manner. The letters all differ in style, and in the mode of 
attack. The twenty-one answers, on white cards, is where the fun comes in. 
Put up in handsome cases, on which are printed directions. .. .30 cts»' 

^ouillard's Book of Practical Receipts. For the use of 

Families, Druggists, Perfumers, Confectioners, Patent Medicine Factors, 
and Dealers in Soaps and Fancy Articles for the Toilet. Compiled with 
great care from receipts now in use by the most popular houses in Franca 
and the United States. By F* A. Souillard, practical chemist. 
Paper ovrvr. Pike...-.,. < ,.26 efe* 



£opttlar B06&9 seat Free of Postage at tne Prices annexed. 
Bniuder ima' Eook of Stump Speeches and Burlesque 

Orations. Also containing Humorous Lectures, Ethiopian Dialogues, Plan- 
tation Scenes, Negro Farces and Burlesques, Laughable Interludes and Com- 
ic Recitations, 111 torsi >ersed with Dutch, Irish, French and Yankee Stories. 
Compiled and edited by John F. Scott. This book contains some of the 
best hits of the leading negro delineators of the- present time, as -well aa. 
mirth-provoking jokes and repartees of the most celebrated End-Men of the 
day, and specially designed for the introduction of fun in an evening's en- 
tertainment. Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, illuminated : 50 Cts. 

Frost's Original Letter- Writer. A complete collection of/ 

' Original Letters and Notes, upon every imaginable subject of Every-Dajfl 
Life, with plain directions about everything connected with writing a letter.' 
Containing Letters of Introduction, Letters on Business, Letters answering 
Advertisements, Letters of Piecommendation, Applications for Employment, 
Letters of Congratulation, of Condolence, of Friendship and Relationship, 
Love Letters, Notes of Invitation, Notes Accompanying Gifts, Letters of 
Favor, of Advice, and Letters of Excuse, together with an appropriate 
answer to each. The whole embracing three hundred letters and notes. By 
S. A. Fkost, author of " The Parlor Stage,'' " Dialogues for Young Folks," 
etc. To which is added a comprehensive Table of Synonyms alone worth 
double the price asked for the book. This work is not a rehash of English 
■writers, but is entirely practical and original, and suited to the wants of the 
American public. "We assure our readers that it is the best collection of 
letters ever published in this country. Bound in boards, cloth back, vdth 
illuminated sides. Price 50 cts. 

Inquire Within for Anything you Want to Know ; or, Over 

3,700 Fad,s for the People. "Inquire Within" is one of the most valuable 
and extraordinary volumes ever presented to the American public, and 
embodies nearly 4,000 facts, in most of which any person will find instruc- 
tion, aid and entertainment. It contains so many valuable recipes, that 
an enumeration of them requires seventy-two columns of fine type for the 
index. Illustrated. 436 large pages. Price $1 50 

The Sociable ; or, One Thousand and One Home Amusements. 
Containing Acting Proverbs, Dramatic Charades, Acting Charades,Tableaux 
Vivants, Parlor Games and Parlor Magic, and a choice collection of Puzzles, 
etc., illustrated with nearly 300 Engravings and Diagrams, the whole being 
a fund of never-ending entertainment. By the author of the " Magician's 
Own Book." Nearly 400 pages, 12 mo. cloth, gilt side stamp. Price. .%\ 50 

Martine's Hand-Book of Etiqnette and Guide to True Po- 
liteness. A complete Manual for all those who desire to understand good 
breeding, the customs of good society, and to avoid incorrect and vulga* 
habits. Containing clear and comprehensive directions for correct manners, 
conversation, dress, introductions, rules for good behavior at Dinner Parties 
and the table, with hints on wine and carving at the table ; together with 
Etiquette of the Ball and Assembly Room, Evening Parties, and the usages 
to be observed when visiting or receiving calls ; deportment in the streefc 
and when travelling. To which is added the Etiquette o" Courtship aui 

Marriage. Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price 50 ct& 

Bound a cloth, gilt side 75 Cts. 

Day's American Ready-Reckoner, containing Tables for 

rapid calculations of Aggregate Values, Wages, Salaries, Board, Interest 
Money, &c, &c. Also, Tables of Timber, Plank, Board and Log Measure- 
ments, with full explanations how to measure them, either by the square 
foot (board measure], cubic foot (timber measure), &c. Bound in boards. 

Price 50 Cta 

Sound in cloth > ...7$Ctfr 



Popular Books seat Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 

..— — — — —* 

dpencer's Book of Comic Speeches and Humorous Recita- 
tions- A- collection of Comic Spv.-ches and Dialogues, Humorous Prose and 
Poetical Recitations, Laughable Dramatic Scenes and Burlesques, and Ec- 
centric Characteristic Soliloquies and Stories. Suitable tor School Exhibi- 
tions and Evening Entertainments. Edited by Albert J. Spencer. Thia 
is the best book of Comic Recitations that has ever been published, and 
commands a large sale on account of its real merit. It is crammed full of 
Comic Poetry, Laughable Lectures, Irish and Dutch Stories, Yankee Yarns, 
"Negro Burlesque , KJjxu-t Di-azuatic Scenes, Humorous Dialogues, and ali 
'kinds of Funuy Speeches. 

Paper covers. Price 30 ctsu 

Bound in boards, cloth back 50 Ctfc- 

Earache's Manual of Chess- Containing a description of 

the Board and the Pieces, Chess Notation, Technical Terms with diagrams 
illustrating them, Relative Value of the Pieces, Laws of the Game, General 
Observations on the Pieces, Preliminary Games for Beginners, Eifty Open- 
ings of Games, giving all the latest discoveries of Modern Masters, with 
best games and copious notes. Twenty Endings of Games, showing easiest 
ways of effecting Checkmate. Thirty-six ingenious Diagram Problems, 
and Sixteen curious Chess Stratagems. To which is added a Treatise oi 
the Games of Backgammon, Russian Backgammon and Dominoes, the 
whole being one of the best Books for Beginners ever published. By N. 
Mahache, Chess Editor of "Wilkes' Spirit of the Times." 

Bound in boards, cloth back. Price 50 cts. 

Cloth, gilt side 75 Cts. 

$Iartme's Sensible Letter "Writer ; Being a comprehensive 

and complete Guide and Assistant for those who desire to carry on Episto- 
lary Correspondence ; Containing a large collection of model letters, on the 
simplest matters of life, adapted to all ages and conditions, 

EMBRACING, 



Letters of Courtesy, Friendship and 
Affection ; 

Letters of Condolence and Sympathy ; 

A Choice Collection of Love Letters, for 
Every Situation in a Courtship ; 

Notes of Ceremony, Familiar Invita- 
tions, etc., together with Notes of Ac- 
ceptance and Regret. 



Business Letters ; 

Applications for Employment, with 

Letters of Recommendation, and An- 1 

swers to Advertisements: 
Letters between Barents and Children ; 
Letters of Friendly Counsel and Re- 1 

monstrance ; 
Letters soliciting Advice, Assistance 

and Friendly Favors ; 
The whole containing 300 Sensible Letters and Notes. This is an invalua- 
ble book for those persons who have not nad sufficient practice to enable 
them to write letters without great effort. It contains such a variety of 
letters, that models may be found to suit every subject. Bound in boards, 

with illuminated cover and cloth back, 207 pages. Price 50 ct& 

Bound in cloth 75 cts. 

?£he Perfect Gentleman, A book of Etiquette and Elo- 
quence. Containing Information and Instruction for those who desire jO 
^become brilliant or conspicuous in General Society, or at Parties, Dinner^, 
.or Popular Gatherings, etc. It gives directions how to use wine at table, 
'with Rules lor judging the quality thereof, Rules for Carving, and a com- 
plete Etiquette of the Dinner Table, including- Dinner Speeches, Toasta 
and Sentiments, "Wit and Conversation at Table, etc. It has also an 
American Code of Etiquette and Politeness for all occasions. Model 
Speeches, with Directions how to deliver them. Duties of the Chairman 
at Public Meetings. Eorms of Preambles and Resolutions, etc. It is a 
handsomely bound and gilt volume of 335 pages. 

*r~ «. -™.$16» 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed 
Hillgrove'c Bail-room Guide and Complete Dancing-mas< 

ter, Containing a plain treatise on Etiquette and Deportment at Bails! 
and Parties, with valuable hints on Dress and the Toilet, together .villi iuli 
explanations of the Rudiments, Terms, Figures and Steps used in Dancing, 
includiug clear and precise instructions howtodaiK. all kinds of Quad- 
rilles, Waltzes, Poikas, Redowas, Reels, Bound, Plain and Fancy Dances, 
so that any person may learn them without the aid of a teacher ; to whiclj 
is added, easy directions tor calling out the Figures of every dance, and 'ha 
amount of Music required for each. The whole illustrated with 17'; de- 
scriptive engravings and diagrams. By Thomas Hilxgrove, Piofcosor of 
Dancing. 

. Bound in cloth, with gilt side and back. Price SI 00 

. Bound in boards, cloth back 75 ctSL 

Wright's Book of 3,000 American Receipts; or, Light- 

House of Valuable Information. Containing over 3,000 Receipts in all the 
Useful and Domestic Arts— including Cooking, Confectionery, Distilling, 
Perfumery, Chemicals, Varnishes, Dyeing, Agriculture, etc. Embracing 
valuable secrets that cannot be obtained from any other source. No exer- 
tion or expense has been spared to make this work as comprehensive and 
accurate as possible. Many Receipts will be found in it that have never 
before appeared in print in this country. Some idea may be lormed of ita 
value in the latter respect, when it is stated that the compiler has been for 
many years engaged in collecting rare and valuable Receipts from numer- 
ous languages besides the English. This is by far the most valuable Ameri- 
can Receipt Book that has ever been published. 
12mo., cloth, 359 pages. Price „ §\ 50 

The Modem Pocket Hoyle. Containing al] the Games of 
Skill and Chance, as played in this country at the present time ; being an 
" authority on all disputed points." By " Trumps." This valuable manual 
is all original, or thoroughly revised, from the best and latest authorities, 
and includes the laws and complete directions for playing one hundred and 
eleven different games, comprising Card games, Chess, Checkers, Dominoes, 
Backgammon, Dice, Billiards, and all the Field Games. 388 pages. 

Paper covers. Price. t 50 cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back 75 c t-[ 

Bound in cloth, gilt side and back SI 25 

Richardson's Monitor of Free-Masonry. A Complete 

Guide to the various Ceremonies and Routine in Free-Mason's Lodges, 
Chapters, Encampments, Hierarchies, etc., in all the Degrees, whether 
Modern, Ancient, Ineffable, Philosophical or Historical. Containing, also, 
the Signs, Tokens, Grips, Pass-words, Decorations, Drapery, Dress, Regalia 
and Jewels, in each Degree. Profusely illustrated with Explanatory En- 
gravings, Plans of the Interior of Lodges, etc. By Jabez Richardson, 
A.. M. A book of 185 pages. 

. Bound in paper covers. Price 75ctst 

:' Bound and gilt 81 2 ' 

Barey and Knowlson's Complete Horse-tamer and Far* 

iter. A New and Improved Edition, containing Mr. Rarey's whole Secret 
of Subduing and Breaking Vicious Horses, together with his Improved 
Plan of Managing Young Colts, and breaking them to the Saddle, thd 
Harness and the Sulky, with Rules for selecting a good Horse, for Feeding 
Horses, etc. Also, The Complete Farrier ; or, Horse Doctor ; a Guide 
for the Treatment of Horses in all Diseases to which that noble animal is 
liable, being the result of fifty years' extensive practice of the author, 
John C. Knowlson, during his life an English Farrier of high popularity, 
containing the latest discoveries in the Cure of Spavin. Illustrated with 
descriptive Engravings. 
Bound in boards, cloth back. Price »..,»• 04) ei& 



Popular Books sent Pro© of Postage at the Prioes annexed. 
Book of Household Pets. Containing valuable instructions 

about the Diseases, Breeding, Training nnd Management of the Canary, 
Modcinn Bird, Brown Thrush, or Thrasher, and other birds, and the rearing 
and management of all kinds of Pigeons and Fancy Poultry, Rabbits, Squir- 
rels, Cuim-a Pius. White Mice and Dogs; together with a Comprehensive 
Treatise on the Principle and Management of the Salt and Fresh Water 
Aquarium. Illustrated with 123 fine wood-cuts. In boards. Price. 50 CtS. 
Bound in cloth, gilt side 75 CtS. 

Athletic Sports for Boys. A Repository of Graceful Re- 
creations for Youth, containing clear and complete instructions in Gymnas- 
tics, Limb Exercises. Jumping, Pole Leaping, Dumb Pells, Indian Clubs, 
Parallel Bars, the Horizontal Bar, the Trapeze, the Suspended Popes, Skat- 
ing, Swimming, Bowing, Sailing, Horsemanship, Biding, Driving, Angling, 
Fencing and Broadsword. The whole splendidly illustrated with 194 fine 
wood-cuts and diagrams. Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price. 75 ctS. 
Bound in cloth, gilt side.. ....$1 00 

The Bar-Tender's Guide ; or, How to Mix all Kinds of 

Fancy Drinks. Containing clear and reliable directions for mixing all the 
beverages used in the United States. Embracing Punches, Juleps, Cob- 
blers, Cocktails, etc., etc., in endless variety. By Jerry Thomas. With 
plain directions for making Syrups, Bitters, Cordials and Liqueurs, with the 
various harmless flavoring and coloring substances used in their preparation, 
and complete instructions for Distilling, Filtering and Clarifying them. 

Illuminated paper cover 50 CtS. 

Bound in full cloth 75 CtS. 

How to Learn the Sense of 3,000 French Words in One 

Hour. This ingenious little book actually accomplishes all that its title 
claims. It is a fact' that there are at least three thousand words in the 
French language, forming a large proportion of those used in ordinary con- 
versation, which are spelled exactly the same as in. English, or become the 
same by very slight and easily understood changes in their termination. 

16mo, illuminated paper cover 25 ctS. 

Bound in full cloth qq q^ 

Barton's Comic Recitations and Humorous Dialogues. 

Containing a variety of Comic Recitations in Prose and Poetry, Amusing 
Dialogues, Burlesque Scenes, Eccentric Orations and Stump Speeches, Hu- 
morous Interludes and Laughable Farces. Designed for School Commence- 
ments and Amateur Theatricals. Edited by Jerome Barton. This is the 
best collection of Humorous pieces, especially adapted to the parlor stage, 

that has ever been published. Eluminated paper cover. Price 30 CtS. 

Bound in boards, with cloth back 59 cts! 

The Secret Out ; or, One Thousand Tricks with Cards, and 
other Recreations. Illustrated with over Three Hundred Engravings. A 
book which explains all the Tricks and Deceptions with Playing Cards ever 
known, and gives, besides, a great manv new ones— the whole bein°- de- 
scribed so carefully, with engravings to illustrate them, that anybodv°can 
easily learn how to perform them. This work also contains 240 of the best 
Tricks in Legerdemain, in addition to the card tricks. 12mo, 400 pages, 
bound in cloth, with gilt side and back. Price ' $1 59 

Lander's Expose of Odd-Fellowship. Containing all the 

Lectures complete, with regulations for Opening, Conducting and Closing a 
Lodge ; together with Forms of Initiation, Charges of the various Officers, 
etc., giving all the Works in the following Degrees : 1st or White Degree ; 
2d or Covenant Degree ; 3d or Boyal Blue Degree ; 4th or Bemembrance 
Degree ; 5th or Scarlet Degree. Paper cover 25 CtS. 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at tie Prices annexe! 

The Hishap3 and Adventures of Obadiah Oidbuek. Where- 
in are set forth the Crosses, Chagrins, Calamities, Checks, Chills, tue 
Changes, Circumgyrations, by which his Courtship w;ls attended. Shoving 
also, the issue of his suit, and his Espousal to his Lady jLove. This humor- 
ous and curious book sets forthwith 183 comic drawings, the misfortune* 
■which befell Mr. Oklbuck : and also his live unsuccessful attempts to com' 
mit suicide — his hairbreadth escapes from fire, water and famine — his affec- 
tion f r his poor dog, etc. To look over this book will make you laugh and 
you can't help it. Price 30 els. 

Barber's American Book of Ready-Made Speeches. Con- 
taining 1j9 original examples of humorous and serious Speeches, suitable 
for the following occasions: Presentation Speeches, Convivial Speeches, 
Festival Speeches, Add*esse3 of Welcome, Addresses of Congratulation and 
Compliment, Political Speeches, Dinner and Supper Speeches, for Clubs, 
Associations, etc. ; Trade Banquets, etc. ; Off-hand Speeches on a variety 
of subjects ; together with appropriate Keplies to each. To which are added, 
Itesolutions of Compliment, Congratulation and Condolence, an<J a variety 
of Toasts and Sentiments for Public and Private Entertainments. 

Paper cover. Price 50 cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back 'do cts. 

Allyn's Ritual of Freemasonry. Containing a Complete 

Key to the following Degrees: Degree of Entered Apprentice ; Degree of 
Fellow Craft; Degree of Master Mason ; Degree of Mark Master; Degree 
of Past Master; Degree of Excellent Master ; Degree of Koyal Arch; 
lloyal Arch Chapter ; Degree of Royal Master; Degree of Select Master : 
Degree of Super-Excellent Master ; Degree of Ark and Dove ; Degree of 
Knights of Constantinople. Degree of 8ecret Monitor ; Degree of Heroine 
of Jericho; Degreeof Knights of Three Kings ; Mediterranean Pass ; Order 
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Malta; Knights of the Christian Mark, and Guards of the Conclave; 
Knights of the Holy Sepulchre ; The Holy and Thrice Illustrious Order of 
the Cross; Secret Master; Perfect Master; Intimate Secretary; Provost 
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Knight3 of Nine; Elected Grand Mister; Sublime Knights Elected; 
Grand Master Architect ; Knights of the Kinth Arcii ; Grand Elect, Per- 
fect and Sublime Mason. Illustrated with 38 copper-plate engravings ; to 
which is ad'lcd, a Kev to the Phi Beta Kappa, Oransre, and 6 d Fedon-s' 
Societies. Br Avery Allvn, K. It. C. K. T. K. M., etcT 12mo, cloth. 
Price * S5 OO 

Charley White's Joke Book. Being a perfect Casket of 

Fun, the first and only work of the kind ever published. Containing a full 
expose of all the most laughable Jokes, "Witticisms, etc.. as told by the 
celebrated Ethiopian Comedian. Charles "Whitk ; with full-page illustra- 
tions of his most popular characters. 94 pages. Price 12 Cts. 

Black Wit and Darkey Conversations. By Chakles 

White. Containing a large collection of laughable Anecdotes. Jokes. 
Stories, "Witticisms, and Darkey Conversations. Hlustrated with cuts of 
the comedian in his best delineations I'd cts 

Mother Shipton's Fortune Teller ; or, Future Fate foretold 

by the Planet*. Being the 900 Answers of Pythagoras to the Questions of 
Life's Destiny. Derived from the Mystic lumbers and Letters of the 
Planets. Containing the Emblematic iuid Mystical Wheel of Fortune and 
Pate, beautifully colored. Also, containing the Moon's good and evil influ- 
ences on Mankind, compiled from the most ancient authorities, by the 
Astrologer of the 19th Century. 16mo, 115 pages. Illuminated 
«over 



I paper 
30 cts. 



Popular Boo£s eent Fres of Postage at tire Prices annexed. 
Day's Book-keeping; Without a Master. Containing the 

Rudiments of Book-keeping in Single ami Double Entry, together with the 

E roper Forms and Rules lor opening and keeping Condensed and General 
look Accounts. This -work is printed in a beautiful script type, and hence 
combines the advantages of a handsome style of writing with its very sim- 
ple and easily understood lessons in Look-keeping. It presents a facsimile 
of a handsomely written set of account books — on a small scale, it is true, 
but very neat "and pretty. This will enable the learner to improve his 
hand-writing, while perfecting himself as an expert, or first-class account- 
ant — which "is done by frequent practice. The book exhibits all the differ- 
: ent forms of Accounts. Balance Sheets, Trial-Balance, Commercial and 
Monetary Letters, Drafts, Notes, Credits, Orders, Inquiries, Replies, etc., 
. etc., arranged in the script type exactly as they should be written for busi- 
ness purposes. This feature makes the work invaluable as a book of refer- 
ence. The several pages have explanations at the bottom, to assist the 
learner, in small type. As a pattern for opening book-accounts it is especi- 
ally valuable — particularly for those who are not well posted in the art. 
Day's Book-keeping is the size of a regular quarto Account Book, and is 
made to lie flat open, for convenience in~use. Price 50 CtS. 

Blank Books for Day's Book-keepin?. We have for sale 

Books of 96 pages each, ruled according to the patterns mentioned on page 
3 of Day's Book-keeping, suitable for practice of the learner, viz. : No. ] — 
For General Book-keeping, pages 4 and 5; for Cash Account on page 13; 
for Day Book in Single EntryT pages 15 to 25. No 2 — For Condensed Ac- 
counts* pages 9 and 10 ; for Cash Accounts, page 12 ; for Journal in Double 
Entry, pages 34 to 43. No. 3 — For Ledgers 'in Double or Single Entry, 
pages 26 to 44. Price, each 50 CtS- 

How to Write a Composition. This original work will 

be found a valuable aid in writing a composition on any topic. It lays 
down plain directions for the division of a subject into its appropriate heads, 
and for arranging them in their natural order, commencing with the simplest 
theme and advancing progressively to the treatment of more complicated 
subjects. The use oi this excellent hand-book will save the student the 
manv hours of labor too often wasted in trying to write a plain composition. 
It affords a perfect skeleton of each subject, with its headings or divisions 
clearly defined, and each heading filled in with the ideas which the subject 
suggests ; so that all the writer has to do, in order to produce a good com- 
position, is to enlarge on them to suit his taste and inclination. 
Bound in boards, cloth back. Price 50 Cts. 

Nugent's Burlesane and Musical Acting 1 Charades. Contain- 
ing ten Charades, all in different styles, two of which are easy and effective 
Comic Parlor Operas, with Music and Pianoforte Accompaniments. These 
Plays require no scenery, and the dialogue is short, witty, and easy to learn. 
To encli Charade will be found an introductory note, containing hints for its 

performance. Paper cover. Price 30 Cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back 50 Cts. 

Snlosnaps and Snickerinsrs of Simon Snodgrass. These 

funny and amusing stories are illustrative of Irish Droll eries7 Ludicrous Dutch 
Blunders. Yankee Tricks and Dodges, Backwoods Boasting, Negro Comi- 
calities, Perilous Pranks of Fisrhting Men, Frenchmen's Queer Mistakes, 
and other phases of eccentric character to make a complete Medley of Wit 
and Humor. Full of funny engravings. Price 25 CtS- 

The Strange and Wonderful Adventures of Bachelor But- 
terfly. Showing his Hairbreadth Escapes from fire and cold — 

his being come over by a Widow with nine small children — and his firm 
endurance of these and" other perils of a most extraordinary nature. The 
whole illustrated, by about 200 engravings. Price 30 Cts. 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexe*. 
The Art and Etiquette of Making Love, a Manual of Love, 

Courtship and Matrimony. Containing sensible advice in relation to all the 
delicate situations and perplexing circumstances incidental to the tender 
passion from the commencement of a courtship until after marriage; to- 
gether with the duties to be fnllilled and the points of etiquette to be ob- 
served by bridesmaids and groomsmen, and all other details of the 
■wedding ceremony; with many curious things concerning matrimony find 
its consequences ; including a complete system of love telegraphy and hand- 
kerchief flirtations, and a choice collection of sensible letters, suitable for all 
the contingencies of k>ve and courtship; also, practical remarks on bashful- 
ness. its prevention and cure. If young ladies or gentlemen want to know: 

How to cure bashfulness, 

How to commence a courtship. 

How to carry on a handkerchief flirtation, 

How to please a sweetheart or lover, 

How to write a love-letter, 

How to "pop the question." 

How to act be/ore and after a proposal, 

Hoiv to accept or reject a proposal, 

How to break of an engagement, 

How to act after an engagement ', 

How to act as bridesmaid or groomsman, 

Hoiv the etiquette of a tvedding and the after reception shouldbe observed, 
Aud in fact, how to fulfdl every duty, and meet every contingency connected 
"with courtship and matrimony, they will find it all clearly explained in this 

book. Large 16mo , 176 pnges, paper cover. Price So cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back. Price 50 cts. 

The Amateur Trapper and Trap-Maker's Guide, a com- 
plete^ and carefully prepared treatise on the art of Trapping, Snaring and 
letting : containing plain directions fur constructing the most approved 
Traps. Snares. Nets, and Dead-Falls ; the best methods of applying them to 
their various purposes ; and the mutt successful Baits for attracting all kinds 
of Animals. Birds. &e., with their special uses in each case; introducing, also, 
practical receipts for preparing Skins and Furs for Market, and for Tanning 
them for future use; with concise but comprehensive instructions for Pre- 
serving and Sturh'ug specimens of Birds and Animals in the most natural and 
durable manner. The entire work is based on the experience of the most 
successfid Trappers, and on information derived from other authentic pro- 
fessional sources. By Stanley Harding. This comprehensive work is 
embellished with fifty well drawn and emrraved illustrations: and these, 
together with the clear explanations which accompany them, will enable 
anybody of mo lerate comprehension to make and set any of the traps de- 
scribed. It also gives the baits usually employed by the most successful 
Hunters and Trappers, and exposes their secret methods of attracting aud 
eatehing animals, birds, <fcc, with scarcely a possibility of failure. Large 

16mo.. paper covers. Price 50 cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back 75 CIS. 

Very Little Dialogues for Very Little Folks. Containing 

forty-seven n-vr and original dialogues, with short and easy parts, almost 
entirely in words of one syllable, suited to The capacity and comprehension 
of very young children. This work has beenissued because it iv>°s d< manded 
by thousands of parents and teachers who have long felt the in ed of such a 
book. There are plenty of little boys and girls who want to 'speak a 
piece." and here is a book full of exactly what they require— shoi't and easy 
dialogues, made up of short, easy parts, on subjects that their li'tl? minds 
can thoroughly understand, so that the speakers will find no difficulty in 
committing their respective parts to memory, even before they have learned 

to road. Paper covers. Price ' 30 ct3. 

Bound in boards, cloth back • 50 Cts. 



Popular Book3 sent Free of Postage at tlie Prices annexed 
Howard's Book of Drawing-Room Theatricals. A collec. 

tion of twelve short and amusing plays in Oi\h act and one scene, specially 
adapted ior private performances; with practical directions, lor their 
preparation and management, fclome of the plays are adapted lor per-. 
formers of one sex only. This book is just what is wanted by those who 
purpose getting up an entertainment of private theatricals : it contains all 
the ntcessary instructions for insuring complete success. 130 pages. 

Paper cover. Price , 30 cts* 

Bound in boards with cloth back 50 c tg; 

Hudson's Private Theatricals for Home Performance. A 

collection of Iluraoroiis Plays suitaole for an Amateur Entertainment, with 
directions how to cany out a performance successfully. Some of the plays 
in this collection are adapted for performance by males only, others require 
only females for the east, and all of them are in one scene and one act, and 
may be represented in any moderate sized parlor, without much prepara- 
tion of costume or scenery. 180 pages. 

Paper covers. Price , 30 cts- 

Bound in boards with cloth back 50 cts- 

The Art of Dressing Well. By Miss S. A. Frost. This 

book is designed for ladies and gentlemen who desire to make a favorable 
impression upon society, and is intended to meet the requirements of any 
season, place, or time ; to offer such suggestions as will be valuable to thosa 
just entering society ; to brides, for whose guidance a complete trousseau 
is described ; to persons in mourning ; indeed, to every individual who pays 
attention to the important objects of economy, style, and propriety of cos- 
tume. 188 pages. 

Paper covers. Price 30 cts 

Bound in boards, cloth back 50 eta 

How to Amuse an Evening Party. A complete collection 

of Home Pecrcations, including Pound Games, Forfeits, Parlor Magic, 
Puzzles, and Comic Diversions ; together with a great variety of Scientific 
Recreations and Evening Amusements. Profusely illustrated with nearly 
two hundred fine woodcuts. Here is family amusement for the million. 
Here is parior or drawing-room entertainment, night after night, for a 
whole winter A young man with this volume may render himself the btau 
ideal of a delightful companion at every party. He may take the lead in 
amusing the company, and wiitthe hearts of all the ladtes, and charm away 
the obduracy of the stoniest-hearted parent, by his powers of entertainment. 

Bound in ornamental paper cover. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, with cloth back. 50 cts- 

Martine's Droll Dialogues and Laughable Recitations. 

By Arthur Martine, author of " Martine's Letter- Writer,'' etc., etc. A 
collection of Humorous Dialogues, Comic Recitations, Brilliant Burlesques. 
Spirited Stump Speeches, and Ludicrous Earces, adapted for School Ceia- 
brations and Home Amusement. 183 pages. 

Paper covers. Price 30 cts^ 

Bound in boards, with cloth back 50 cts« 

Frost's Humorous and Exhibition Dialogues This is a 

collection of sprightly original Dialogues, in Prose and Verse, intended to 
be spoken at School Exhibitions. Some of the pieces are for boys, some for 
girls, whale a number are designed to be used by both sexes. The Dialogues 
are all good, and will recommend themselves to those who desire to hav« 
innocent fun— the prevailing feature at a school celebration. 180 pages. 

Paper cover. Price 30 ets- 

Boirnd in board* ...50 eta 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 

What Shall We Do To-Night? or, Social Amusements for 
Evening 1'arties. This Elegant .book affords an almost inexhaustible 
fund of Amusement for Evening Parties, Social Gatherings, and all Fes- 
tive Occasions, ingeniously grouped togetner so as to furnisu complete and 
ever-Vc:rvii»g entertainment lor Tweniy-ax Evenings. Its repertoire em- 
braces all the best Pound and Forfeit Games, clearly described and ren- 
dered perfectly plain by original and amusing examples ; interspersed w ita 
a great variety of Ingenious Puzzles, Entertaining Tricks, and Innocent 
Sells; new and original Musical and Vortical 1 astimes, Startling illu- 
sions, and Mirth-provoking Exhibitions ; including complete directions and 
text for performing Charades, Tableaux, Parlor Pantomimes, the world- 
renowned Punch and Judy, Gallanty Shows, and original Shadow Partto- 
iniines ; also, full information for the successful performance of Dramatis 
Dialogues and Parlor Theatricals, with a selection of Original Pltys, etc., 
written expressly for this work. It is embellished with over one hundred 
descriptive and explanatory engravings, and contains 3G6 pages, printed 
on line toned paper, 12mo, bound in extra cloth $2.00 

EOW To Conduct a Debate. A Perie-; of Complete Debates, 
Outlines of Debates, and Questions for Discussion ; with references to the 

• best sources of information on each particular topic. In the Complete 
Debates, the questions for discussion are defined, the debate formally 
opened, an array of brilliant arguments adduced on either side, and the 
debate closed according to Parliamentary usages. The second part con- 
sists of Questions for Debate, with heads of arguments, for and against, 
given in a condensed form for the speakers to enlarge upon to suit their 
own fancy. In addition to these are a large collection of good Debatable 
Questions. The authorities, to be referred to for informal ion, being given 
at the close of every debate throughout the work. Ey Frederic Bowton. 

232 pages, lb'mo, paper cover 50 C13, 

Pound in boards, cloth back , 75 CtS. 

HcBride's Comic Dialogues for Soft ool Exhibitions and Lit- 
erary Entertainments. A collection of original Humorous Dialogues, est 
pccially designed for the development and display of Amateur Dramatic 
Talent, and introducing a varietv of sentimental, sprightly, comic, and 
genuine Yankee characters. By H. Elliott McBride. 16mo, illuminated 

paper cover .SO CtS. 

Bound in boards 50 CtS. 

The Fireside Magician: or, TJw Art of Natural Magic made 

Easy — being a familiar and scientific explanation of Legerdemain, Physi- 
cal Amusement, Recreative Chemistry, Diversions with Cards, and of ail 
the minor mysteries of Mechanical Magic, with feats as performed in pub- 
lic by Herr Alexander and Kobcrt Iloudin. 132 pages, 16mo, illuminated 

paper cover. 30 eta. 

Bound in boards, cloth back 50 CtS. 

iTrost's Original Letter- Writer, and Laws and By-Laws of 

American Society Combined. Being a complete collection of original 
Letters and Notes upon every imntriimble subject of every-dny life, ana a, 
condensed but thorough treatise on Etiquette, arid its usages in .America. 
This work includes a dictionary of synonyms especially adapted for the use 
of correspondents. By S. A. Frost. " lUrno, 378 pages, extra clotn, 
gilt $150 

Eow's Complete Fractional Ready Eeckoner. For buy- 
ing and selling any kind of merchandise, giving the fractional parts of a 
pound, yard, etc., from one quarter to one thousand, at any price from one- 
quarter of a cent to five dollars. By Nelson How. 
S6uu», 232 pages. Boards 50 Cta 



Popular Booto sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 



Brudder Bones' Book of Stump Speeches and Burlesque 

Orations. Also containing Humorous Lectures, Ethiopian Dialogues, Plan- 
tation Scenes, Negro Farces and Burlesques, Laughable interludes and Com- 
ic Recitations, interspersed with Dutch, Irish, French and Yankee Stories. 
Compiled aud edited by John F. Kcott. This book contains some of the 
best hits of the leading negro delineators of the present time, as well as 
mirth-provoking jokes and repartees of the most celebrated End-Men of the 
day, and specially designed for the introduction of fun ip an evening's en- 
tertainment. Paper covers. Price 3C cts. 

Bound in boards, illuminated 50 cts. 

frost's Original Letter- Writer. A complete collection of 

Original Letters and Notes, upon every imaginable subject of Every-Day 
Life, with plain directions about everything connected with writing a letter. 
Containing Letters of Introduction, Letters on Business, Letters answering 
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Letters of Congratulation, of Condolence, of Friendship and Relationship, 
Love Letters, Notes of Invitation, Notes Accompanying Gifts, Letters of 
Favor, of Advice, and Letters of Excuse, together with an appropriate 
answer to each. The whole embracing three hundred letters and notes. By 
S. A. Frost, author of " The Parlor Stage," " Dialogues for Young Folks," 
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Inquire Within for Anything you Want to Know; or, Over 
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HOWARD'S RECITATIONS. 

Comic, Serious and Pathetic. Being a carefully selected collec- 
tion of fresh Recitations in Prose and Poetry, suitable for An- 
niversaries, Exhibitions, Social Gatherings, and Evening Par- 
ties; affordiug, also, an abundance of excellent material for 
practice and declamation. Edited by Clarence J. Howard. 

CONTENTS. 



Miss Malony on the Chinese Ques- 
tion. 

Kit Carson's Ride. A fine descrip- 
tive poetical recitation. 

Buck Fanshaw's Funeral. 

Knocked About. Monologue. 

The Puzzled Dutchman. Dialect 

Shamus O'Brien. Popular recitation 

The Naughty Little Girl. Humorous. 

The Bells of Shandon. Serious poem. 

No Sect in Heaven. A dream. 

Rory O'More's Present to the Priest. 

" Mother's Fool." A Recitation. 

Queen Elizabeth. A comic oration. 

The Starling. A recitation. 

Lord Dundreary's Riddle. 

The Stuttering Lass. Amusing re- 
cital. 

The Irish Traveler. Humorous piece. 

The Remedy as Bad as the Disease. 

A Subject for Dissection. 

The Heathen Chinee. 

Mona's "Waters. Pathetic recitation. 

A Showman on the Woodchuck. 

How Happy I'll Be. Moral recitation. 

A Frenchman's Account of the Fall. 

Isabel's Grave. Pathetic recitation. 

The Parson and the Spaniel. 

An Lishman's Letter. 

An Affectionate Letter. Irish style. 

The Halibut in Love. 

The Merry Soap-Boiler. 

The Unbeliever. A solemn recitation 

The Voices at the Throne. 

Lord Dundreary Proposing. A very 
comic recitation. 

The Fireman. Descriptive piece. 

Paul Revere's Ride. 

Annie and "Willie's Prayer. Pathetic 

A Frenchman on Macbeth. 

The New Church Organ. 

Katrina Likes Me Poody Veil. Hu 
raorous Ditty in Dutch dialect. 

How to Save a Thousand Pounds. 

How I Got Invited to Dinner. 

Patient Joe. A serious recitation. 

Jimmy Butler and the Owl. 



The Menagerie. A wild beast show. 

Old Quizzle, 

The Infidel and Quaker. Recitation. 

The Lawyer and the Chimney- 
sweeper. 

Bill Mason's Bride. A railroad yarn. 

Judging by Appearances. 

The Death's Head ; or. Honesty the 
best Policy. 

Betsey and i are Out. 

Betsey Destroys the Paper. 

Father Blake's* Collection. 

Blank Verse in Rhyme. 

Roguery Taught by Confession. 

Banty Tim. 

Antony and Cleopatra. 

Deacon Hezekiah. Description of a 
Sanctimonious Hypocrite. 

The Frenchman and the Landlord. 

The Family Quarrel. A dialogue on 
the Sixteenth Amendment, 

The Guess. Old English Recitation. 

The Atheist and Acorn. 

Brother "Watkins Farewell of a 
Southern Mi ulster. 

Hans in a Fix. A Dutchman's dream 
of Matrimony. 

To-Morrow. Poetical recitation. 

The Highgate Butcher. 

The Lucky Call. The Lost Spectacles. 

Challenging the Foreman. 

The Country Schoolmaster. 

The Matrimonial Bugs and the Trav- 
elers. 

Peter Sorghum in Love. Yankee 
story. 

Tim Tuff. A sharp bargain. 

The Romance of Nick Van Stann- 

The Debating Society. Recitation. 

Deacon Stokes. 

A Tribute to our Honored Dead. 

The Dying Soldier. Pathetic poetry. 

The Yankee Fireside. Yankee 
sketches of character. 

The Suicidal Cat. An affecting tale. 

The Son's "Wish. A dying father's 
bequest. 



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BEECHER'S RECITATIONS 



READINGS. 
Humorous, Serious, Dramatic, including Prose and Poetical 
Selections in Dutch, French, Yankee, Irish, Backwoods, Negro 
and other Dialects. Edited by Alvah C. Beecher. This excel- 
lent selection has been compiled to meet a growing demand for 
Public Eeadings, and contains a number of the favorite pieces 
that have been rendered with telling effect bj the most popular 
Public Readers of the present time. It includes, also, choice 
selections for Eecitations, and is, therefore, admirably adapted 
lor use at Evening Entertainments, Sehool Celebrations, and 
other Festival occasions. 

NTS. 

The Glove a nil tlie Lions, 

I Yant to FJy. 

That Dog of Jim SanSer's. 

The Story of the Faftbtal Soul. 
■ "MyNewPittnyateos." Character- 
istic. 

Mary Ann's "Wedding-. 

An Inquiring Yankee; 

The Three Bells. Story of a Ship 
wreck. 

Love in a Balloon. 

Mrs. Brown on the State of the 
Streets. 

Shoo Flies. "Excelsior" in Dutch. 

Discourse by the Key. Mr. Bosan. 

Without the Children. Pathetic 

Signer BiHsmethi's Dancing Acad- 
emy. 

Der Goot Lookin Shnow. Parody, 

The Celebrated Jumping Frog. 

The Lost Chord. A Memory of the 
Past. 

The Tale of a Leg. An Amusing 
Storr. 

That West-side Dog. . 

How Dennis Took the Pledge. 

TheFisherznan's Summons. Pathetic 

Badger's Debut as Hamlet. 

How Hezekiah Stole the Spoons. 

Paddy's Dream. 

Yictuals and Drink. 

How Jake Schneider Went Bfind. 

Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man. 

Mrs. Brown on Modem Houses. 

Farm Yard Song. Country Seene. 

Murphy's Pork Barrel Mys'tery. 

The Prayer Seeker. Pathetic Poem. 

An Extraordinary Phenomenon. 

The Case of Young Bangs. 

A Male Bide in Florida. 

Bhree Sbkaders. A Dutch Ditty. 

30 cte, 

.- . .50 cts. 



COST1 

Miss Maloney goes to the Dentist. 

Lost and Found. Pathetic 

Mygel Snyder's Barty. 

Magdalena ; or. the Spanish Duel. 

Jim Wolfe and the Cats. 

The Woolen Doll. A Maniac's Story. 

The Charity Dinner. A Character- 
istic Heading. 

Go-Moitow ; or, Lot's Wife. Negro 
Conversation on Religion. 

The Wind and the Moon. Recitation. 

Dym' Words of Isaac. 

Maude Mnller in Dutch. 

Moses the Sassy ; or, the Disguised 
Duke. Burlesque style. 

The Yarn of the " Naney Bell." 

Paddy the Piper. Irish Narrative. 

Schneider sees " Leah." 

Caldwell of Springfield. A Story. 

Artemns Ward's Panorama. 

Sorrowful Tale of a Servant Girt. 

How a Frenchman Entertained John 
Bull. 

Tiamondts on der Prain. 

King Robert of Sicily. A Dream. 

Gloverson the Mormon. 

De Pint wid Ole Pete. Negro Dialect. 

Pat and the Pig. An Irish Story. 

The Widow Bedott's Letter to Elder 
Sniffles. Characteristic 

The Cry of the Children. 

The Dutchman and the Small-pox. 

Sculpin. A Yankee Anecdote. 

Hats. Descriptive Recitation. 

An Introduction. A Reader Intro- 
duces Himself to an Audience. 

A Dntchman's Dolly Yarden. 

u Roek of Ages. " A Beautiful Poem. 

Feeding the Black FiJIies. Irish. 

The Hornet. Its Manners and Cus- 
toms. 



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WILSON'S BOOK OF RECITATIONS 

DIALOGUES. 

"With instructions in Elocution and Declamation. Containing a 
choice selection of Poetical and Prose Recitations and Original 
Colloquies. Designed as an Assistant to Teachers and Students 
in preparing Exhibitions. By Floyd B. TVilson, Professor of 
Elocution. 



CONT 

Address at the Dedication of tlie 
Cemetery at Gettysburg. 

Sheridan's *Ride. 

There's but One Pair of Stockings to 
Mend To-night. 

Modulation. Poetical Instruction. 

The Drummer Bov's Burial. 

The Pilot. A Thrilling Incident. 

The Soldier's Return. Colloquy for 
5 males and 2 females. 

Burial of the Champion of his Class 
at Yale College. 

Scott and the Veteran. Poetical 

Barbara Frietchie. 

I Wouldn't— Would You? 

The Professor Puzzled. Amusing 
Colloquy for 2 males. 

Thnnatopsis. Popular Recitation. 

The Two Roads. A Declamation. 

The Pawnbroker's Shop. Descrip- 
tive Poem. 

The Sophomore's Soliloquy. 

The Nations Hymn. Patriotic. 

Address to a Skeleton. Didactic. 

A Glass of Cold Water. Temper- 
ance. 

Hew Year's Eve. little Greichen. 

The Song of Sherman's Army. 

The Sea Captain's Story. 

Our Heroes. Patriotic. 

The Closing Year. Didactic 

Burial of Little Nell. 

The Picket-Guard. Poetical. 

The Poor Man and the Fiend. 

Our Country's Call. Patriotic. 

The Orphan's Triumph. Colloquy 
for 6 females. 

Poem read at the Founding of Get- 
tysburg Monument. . 

Spartacus to the Gladiators. 

Sobloquy of the Dving Alchemist. 

Reconstruction. Colloquy for 5 males 
and 1 female. 

Unjust National Acquisition. 

Dimes and Dollars. 

The Dead Drummer Boy. 



ENTS. 

Home. Popular Recitation. 

Responsibility of American Citizens. 
An Oration. 

The Smack in School. Humorous- 
Left on the Battle-Field. Pathetic, 

The American Flag. Patriotic. 

Oh ! Why should the Spirit of Mortal 
be Proud ? 

Parrhasius. Descriptive Poem. 

The Vagabonds. Roger and I. 

A Bridal Wine-Cup. Temperance. 

Blanche of Devan's Last Words. 

Widow Bedoti to Eider Sniffles. 

A Psalm of the Union. Patriotic. 

Charge of a Dutch Magistrate. 

Stars in my Country's bky. 

Bingen on the Rhine. 

Religions Character of President 
Lincoln. 

Tlie Raven. Poetical Recitation. 

The Loyal Legion. Festival Poem. 

Agnes and the Veal's. Didactic. 

Catiline's Defiance. Poetical. 

Our Folks. A Poem of the Camp. 

The Beautiful Snow. 

The Ambitious Youth. Descriptive. 

The Flag of Washington. Patriotic 

The Abbot of Waltham. Humorous. 

Ode to an Infant Son. 

The Scholar's Mission. Speech. 

Claude MeJnotte's Apology and De- 
fense. 

The Forging of the Anchor. 

The Wreck of the Hesperus. 

The Man of Ross. A Poem. 

No Work the Hardest Work. 

What is Time ? Didactic Poem. 

Brutus' Oration over the Body of Lu- 
cretia. 

What is Thai, Mother? 

A Colloquy with Myself. 

Saint Philip Neri and the Youth. 

The Chameleon. A Fable. 

Henry the Fourth's Soliloquy on 
Sleep. 

On Procrastination. Recitation. 



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Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
SPENCER'S BOOK OF COMIC SPEECHES 

AA'D 

HUMOROUS RECITATIONS. 

A collection of Comic Speeches and Dialogues, Humorous Prose 
and Poetical Recitations, Laughable Dramatic Scenes and Bur- 
lesques, and Eccentric Characteristic Soliloquies and Stories. 
Suitable for School Exhibitions and Evening Entertainments. 
Edited by Albert J. Spencer. 

CONTENTS. 
The Yankee Landlord. 
His Eye -was Stern and Wild. 
The Goddess of Slang. Comic. 
Dick, the Apothecary's Apprentice. 
Courting in French Hollow. Dialect 

Eecital. 
The Case Altered. 
The Eos and the Eanger. Dialect 

Dialogue for 2 male3. 
The Declaration. 
The Warrantee Deed. Comic Song 

or Eecitation ; with Chorus. 
A Night's Adventure. Thrilling. 
Julia. Comic Love Scene. 
Saying not Meaning. Humorous. 
16.000 Years Ago. Negro Burlesque 

for 3 males. 
The Nimmers. Degrees of Crime. 
Gucom and the Back-log. 
Widow Bedott's Mistake. Dialogue 

for 1 raa^e and 1 female. 
Categorical Courtship. How a Bash- 
ful Lover " popped the Question." 
Mr. Artemns Ward crossing Dixie. 
My Last Shirt. Pathetic Ehap- 

sody. 
The Three Black Crows. 
The Barber's Shop. Eor 2 males. 
Paddy O'Eafther. Irish Dialect. 
Decidedly Cool. Scene for 2 males 

and 1 female. 
The Frenchman and the Eats. 
The Jester Condemned to Death. 
Kindred Quacks. Physic and Divi- 
nity. 
Hans Breitmann's Party. Dialect. 
The Generous Frenchman. Dialect. 
Saint Jonathan. A Poem of to-day. 
Stump speech. Highfalutin' Style. 
The Eival Lodgers. Farce for 2 

males and 1 female. 
The Frenchman and the Mosquitoes. 
The Maiden's Mishap. 
The Eemoval. An Amusing Eecital. 
Talking Latin. Characteristic. 
Praying for Eain. 

Paper covers. Price 

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The Darkey Photographer. Negyo 
scene for*3 males." 

Paddy and his' Musket. Fnnny. 

Hezekiah Bedott. Gossipy Style. 

Hncle Eenben's Tale. 

Mr. Caudle has been to Greenwich 
Fair. 

The Chemist and his Love. 

The Disgusted Dutchman. Dialect 
Dialogue for 3 males. 

The Frightened Traveler. An Ad- 
venture. 

Economy. The Jewess and her Son. 

Clerical Wit. True Lies. 

The School House. Descriptive Piece. 

Daniel verms Dish clout. 

Spectacles, or Helps to Eead. 

The Pig. Colloquial Poem in praise 
of this much despised animal. 

A Stray Parrot. Farce for 1 male 
and 2" females. 

Dame Fredegonde. A Priest's advice. 

Toby Tosspot. Convivial Adventure. 

Courtship and Matrimony. 

Eings and Seals. Poetical. 

The Biter Bit. A Wail of the For- 
saken. 

Pat and the Gridiron. Amusing 
Dialect Eecitation. 

The Barmecide's Feast. Burlesque 
for 5 males, with directions. 

The Country Pedagogue. Descrip- 
tive Sketch after Nature. 

The Middle-aged Man and Two Wid- 
ows. 

The Saratoga Waiter. Funny Negro 
Scene for 2 males. 

The Wrangling Pair. A Monologue. 

A Connubial " Eclogue. Poetical 
Dialogue for I male and 1 female. 

The Italian from Cork. Scene in a 
Justice's Court, for 3 males. 

Gasper Schnapps' Exploit. A Brag- 
gart's Boast. 

Epilogue. Suitable for conclusion of 
an Entertainment. 

30 cts. 

50 cts. 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
MARTINE'S DROLL DIALOGUES 



LAUGHABLE RECITATIONS. 

By Arthur Martine, author of "Martine's Letter- Writer/' etc., 
etc. A collection of Humorous Dialogues, Comic Recitations, 
Brilliant Burlesque, Spirited Stump Speeches aud Ludicrous 
Farces, adapted ibr School and other Celebrations and for Home 
Amusement. 

COXTENTS. 

Hints to Amateur Performers in Par- 
lor Theatricals. 

Explanation of Stage Directions, 
with Diagram. 

Prelude to an Evening's Eecitations. 
Humorous Poetical Address. 

The Bell and the Gong. Original 
Humorous Eeeitation. 

Mrs. Dove's Boarding House. Origi- 
nal Amusing Eeeitation. 

The Wilkins Family. A Eeeitation 
fall of Puns and Jokes. 

•The Lawyer's Stratagem. How he 
tricked the Squire. 

Eulogy on Laughing. A wen-known 
popular Eeeitation. 

Drawing a Long Bow. Dramatic 
Dialogue for 3 males and 1 female. 

"Woman. The Origin of "Woman's 
Ascendency overMan. 

Yeny Earner's Bear Story. A 
thrilling characteristic narration. 

The Game of Life. The Moral Ap- 
plication of a game at Euchre. 

The Fortune Hunter. Laughable 
Dialogue for 2 males and 3 females. 

The Parson and the Widow. A 
short, Poetical Eeeitation. 

Hezekiah Stub bins' Fourth of July 
Oration. A Yankee Stump Speech. 

Make your Wills. Ludicrous Farce 
for 7* male characters. 

Mr. Eogers and Monsieur Denise. A 
celebrated Comic Eeeitation. 

The Darkey Debating Society. Ethi- 
opian Dialogue for 2 males*. 

The Scandal Monger.' Dramatic 
Dialogue for 2 males and 2 females. 

Poor Eichard's Sayings. With An- 
notations by Lord Dundreary. 

Prologue to ir The Apprentice." 

Address in the character of " Hope." 
A Prologue for an Entertainment. 

Parody on the Declaration of Inde- 
pendence. ■ 



Bombastes Furioso. A Burlesque 

for 7 males. 
Characteristic Address. The wail 

of a Printer's Devil. 
Examining de Bumps. Ethiopian 

Dialogue for 2 males. 
Election Stump Speech. Addressed 

to the Electors of Wethersfield. 
A Matrimonial Tiff. Characteristic 

Dialogue for 1 male and 2 females. 
The Frenchman and the Sheep's 

Trotters. Comic Eeeitation. 
The Poor Eelation; or, Love Me. 

Love my Dog. Comic Drama for 

7 males. 
Yat you Please. Experiences of two 

Frenchmen in England. 
The Babes in the Wood. Burlesque 

for 3 males and 4 females. 
My Aunt. Poetical Eeeitation. 
Handy Andy's Little Mistakes. 

Laughable Irish Story. 
The Cat Eater. Comic Eeeitation. 
A Shocking Mistake. Dialogue for 

3 males and 2 females. 
Wanted a Governess. A satirically 

comic Eeeitation. 
The Rival Broom Makers. Comic 

Eeeitation. 
Paudeen O'Bafferty's Say-Yoyage. 

Laughable Lish Eeeitation. 
Mr. Caudle's Wedding Dinner. A 

Curtain Lecture. 
Our Cousins. Negro Dialogue for 2 

'male characters. 
Mr. Caudle has been made a Mason. 

Curtain Lecture. 
Address of Sergeant Buzfuz at the 

Trial of Pickwick. 
The Wonderful Whalers. A very 

surprising narrative. 
Sam Weber's Valentine. Character 

Dialogue for 2 males. 
Job Trotter's Secret. Amusing Dia- 
logue, for 3 males. 



188pages. Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back... ' 50 eta, 



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BARTON'S COMIC RECITATIONS 



HUMOROUS DIALOGUES. 

Containing a variety of Comic Recitations in Prose and Poetry, 
Amusing Dialogues, Burlesque Scenes, Eccentric Orations, 
Humorous Interludes and Laughable Farces. Designed fur 
School Commencements and Amateur Theatricals. Edited by 
Jerome Barton. 

CONTENTS. 



•fhe Stage-Struck Hero. A Ranting 

Poetical Recitation. 
Here She Goes — and There She Goes, 
pastor M'Knock's Address against 

the Sin of Tippling. 
Old Sugar's Courtship. 
The Bachelor's Reasons for Taking a 

Wife. A Poetical Recitation. 
The Spanish Valet and the Waiting 

Maid. Dialogue for 1 male and 1 

female. 
The Jackdaw of Rheims. Recitation. 
Jonathan and the Englishman. 
Artemus Ward's Trip to Europe. 

Very Humorous Recitation. 
The Auctioneer and the Lawyer. 
Mr. and Mrs. Skinner. 
The Bachelor and the Bride. 
The Drunkard and his Wife. 
A Western Lawyer's Plea against 

the Fact. 
Reading a Tragedy. Declamation. 
Cast-off Garments. An Extract from 

" Nothing to Wear." 
How to Cure a Cough. 
The Soldier's Return. Ethiopian 

Dialogue for 2 males. 
The Countrymen and the Ass. An 

excellent Fable. 
Come and Go. Poetical Recitation. 
How they Pop the Question. Reci- 
tation for Mimicry. 
The Clever Idiot. Poetical. 
The Knights; or, Both Right and 

Both Wrong. An Excellent Fable. 
How the Lawyer got a Patron Saint. 
Josh Billings on Laughing. 
The Night after Christmas. 
A Change of System. A Parlor 

Comedy for J males and 1 female. 
The Citizen and the Thieves. 
Boggs's Dogs. A Profitable Trade. 
The Smack in School. 



The Tinker and the Miller's Daughter 

An Original Parody. Recitation. 

The Parsons and the Corkscrew. 
Humorous Recitation. 

The Old Gentleman who Married a 
Young Wife. Dialogue for 1 male 
and 1 female. 

The Stage-Struck Darkey. Ethiopian 
Interlude for males. 

Goody Grim versus Lapstone. Dia- 
logue for 4 males. 

The Woman of Mind. Recitation. ■ 

Nursery Reminiscences. 

A Martyr to Science : or, Wanted— 
A Confederate. Farce for 4 males. 

Lodgings for Single Gentlemen. 

The'Farmer and the Counsellor. 

The Pugilists. A Striking Tale. 

How Pat Saved his Bacon. Charac- 
teristic Narrative. 

The Irish Drummer. AStoryoftho 
Lash. 

Mike Hooter's Bear Story. A Dia- 
lect Recitation. 

The Critic. Humorous Recitation. 

Mr. Caudle Wants a Latch-key. 

Humbugging a Tourist. Character 
Dialogue for 3 males. 

The Widow's Victim. Ethiopian In- 
terlude for 2 males and 1 female. . 

Josh Billings on the Mide. 

The Tinker and the Glazier. 

Wonderful Dream. Negro Dialogue 
for 2 males. 

An Occasional Address. For a Lady's 
First Appearance. 

An Occasional Prologue. For Open- 
ing a Performance. 

Address on Closing a Performance. 

A Prologue for a Performance by 
Boys. 

An Epilogue for a School Perform- 
ance. 



This is one of the best collection of Humorous Pieces especially adapted to 
the Parlor Stage that has ever been published. 16 mo. 180 pages. 

Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back 50 CtS, 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
BRUDDER BONES' BOOK OF STUMP SPEECHES 

AND 

BURLESOTE ORATIONS. 

Also containing Eumorons Lectures, Ethiopian Dialogues, Plan- 
tation Scenes, Negro Farces and Burlesques, Laughable inter- 
ludes and Comic Recitations. Compiled and edited by John P. 
Scott. 

CONTENTS. 

If I may so Speak. Burlesque Ora- 
tion. 
Dr. Pillsbury's Lecture on Politics. 
Vegetable Poetry. Dialogue for 2 

males. 
Teco Brag's Lecture on Astronomy. 
"We saw Her but a Moment. 
Stocks Up, Stocks Down. Darkey 

dialogue for 2 males. 
Brudder Bones' Love Scrapes. 
Stump Speech; or. "Any other Man." 
War's your Hoss. Dialogue Recital. 
Geology. Dialogue for 2 males. 
Tin-pan-o-ni-on. Pantomime for 

Leader and Orchestra. 
Dr. Puff Stuffs Lecture on Patent 

Medicines. 
Sailing. Dialogue for 2 males. 
Challenge Dauce. Ethiopian Act for 

3 males. 
Lecture on Bad Boys. An amusing 

Recitation. 
Tony Pastor's Great Union Speech. 
A Tough Boarding House. Conver- 
sation between 2 Darkeys. 
Sleeping Child. Dialogue tor 2 males. 
Ain 1 1 Right, Eh ? Speech. 
Wonderful Egg. Darkey Dialogue 

for 2 males. 
A Bootblack's Soliloquy. Darkey. 
Lecture to a Fire Company. 
Julius' Peaches. Dialogue for 2 Dar- 
keys. 
De Trouble Begins at Nine. 
The Arkansas' Traveler. Dialogue 

for 2 Violin players. 
Slap Jack. Dialogue for 2 Darkeys. 
Demi-Semi-Centennial Turkey-town 

Celebration. An Oration. 
Uncle Steve's Stump Speech. 
A Midnight Murder. Thrilling. 
Dat's What's de Matter. 
The Freezing Bed Feller. Recitation. 
Mr. and Mrs. Wilkins. 
Paddy Fagan's Pedigree. 
The Rival Darkeys. Act for 2 males. 
Hans Sourcrout on Signs and Omens. 
Hun-ki-do-ris Fourth of July Oration. 

16 mo. 188 pages. Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, illuminated 50 ct3. 



Josh Billiners on Mosquitoes. 
Romantic History of Cap. John Smith. 
A Speech on Women. Humorous. 
An Impulsive Peroration. 
The Bet. Dialogue for 2 Darkeys. 
Old Times gone By. Dialogue with 

songs for 2 Darkeys. 
The Echo. ■ Act for 2 Negroes. 
Sol Slocum's Bugle. Dialect. 
Western Stump Speech. Highfalutin'. 
In the Show Business. Short Dia- 
logue for 2 males. 
' ' We are. " Favorite Stump Oration. 
An Original Burlesque Oration. 
Waiting to see Him off. For 2 males. 
Patriotic Stump Speech. 
De Railroad Accident. Dialogue for 

2 Darkeys. 
The Dutchman's Lecture on the War. 
Professor Unworth's Atlantic Cable 

Lecture. 
The Three old Ladies. Recitation. 
Josh Billings' Lecture onto Mnsick. 
The Misfortunes of Brudder Bones' 
Lady- Love. Dialogue for 2 males. 
Deaf— In a Horn. Act for 2 males. 
Or any oder Man's Dog. A Speech. 
Happy Uncle Tom. Plautation Scene. 
.Stick a Pin dere, Brudder Horace. 
Burlesque Lecture on Woman's 

Rights. 
Dat's wot de "Ledger" says. Dia- 
logue for two Darkeys. 
Goose Hollow Stump Speech. 
De Milk in de Cocoa Nut. 
A Dutchman's Answer. 
Lecture on Cats. Humorous. 
The Patent Screw; or, How to be Re- 
venged. 
The Auctioneer. Characteristic. 
Hints on Courtship. To Young Men. 
A Dutch Recruiting Officer. 
Spirit Rappings. "Roaring Darkey 

Dialogue for 2 males. 
Dar'sde Money. From "Othello." 
Let Her Rip. Burlesque. Lecture. 
The Stranger. Ethiopian Scene for 
1 male and 1 female. 



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Associations ; full Kules of Order for the government; of their debates and 
business ; Models of Constitutions, for Lyceums, Institutes, and other So- 
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Rowing, and Instructions concerning Incorporations. Hints about Libra- 
ries and Museums, with a Catalogue of desirable Books, and a List of 
American Coins ; and Rules for the collection and preservation of books, 
ilSS., and objects of Curiosity. Rules for Debating, and a selection of 
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pendix, containing the original Articles of Confederation of the United 
States, the Constitution, the celebrated Virginia and Kentucky Resolutions, 
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That's It; or, Plain Teaching. By the author of "Inquire 

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and to a lad or miss of an inquiring turn of mind, it is a perfect Aladdin's 
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The Reason Why: Natural History, By the author of 

" Inquire Within," " The Biblical Reason Why," etc. This volume an- 
swers about 1,500 questions, giving Reasons for hundreds of curious and 
interesting facts in connection with Natural History, and throwing a light 
upon the peculiar habits and instincts of the various orders of the Animal 
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12mo., cloth, gilt side and back. Price $1 50 

Biblical Reason Why. A Hand-book for Biblical Stu- 

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Large 12mo., cloth, gilt side and back. This work gives 1,494 Reasons, 
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Harp Of a Thousand Strings ; or, Laughter for a Lifetime. 
A large book of nearly 400 pages. By the author of Mrs. Partington's 
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The Dictionary Of Love. Containing a Definition of all 
the Terms used in Courtship, with rare quotations from Poets of all Na- 
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other interesting matters appertaining to Love, never before published. 
i2mo., cloth, gilt side and back. Price $1 50 



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